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Clips from NewsRadio - Stocks (S03E03)

"Slow it down. I'm not..."
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"You would have loved it."
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"and, uh, Harajuku, music street."
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"Bill."
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"Lisa."
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"the unknown."
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"You can put paper clips, stuff in it, you know."
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"Well, it wobbles. See. Da-da..."
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"In Japan they love those wobble heads."
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"MATTHEW: Oh. LISA: That--"
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"Uh, yes."
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"Yay!"
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"weird Japanese nudie magazines."
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"[SCREECHES]"
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"that the chair squeaks."
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"[SQUEAKS]"
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"Go into Dave's office and ask him for a new chair."
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"Dave's been really uptight about the budget lately."
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"Okay, wait, wait, wait."
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"Okay, so you're a little light in the stuff department."
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"office supply whore? I--"
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"You know, when I am in the office,"
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"relationship with Dave."
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"Something really great just happened. Yup."
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"Ooh, and what a good part it is. How much?"
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"to quadruple my money for me, you know what I'm saying?"
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"Well, why are you giving tips to her?"
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"But Jim, you know what they say:"
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""Teach a man to fish--""
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"Hey. How was your trip?"
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"See? In Japan it is customary"
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"Oh, my, you would of-- You would have loved it."
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"Strange people, strange customs."
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"Clearly, you've never been to Winnipeg."
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"I say-- Well, you know, uh,"
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"I really don't like to have knives or guns or..."
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"It makes me a little uncomfortable."
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"Okay. I guess I'll just--"
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"Oh, on the other hand, perhaps I should, uh..."
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"Beth, no-- Mr. James,"
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"I thrive on bad advice! I thrive on bad advice."
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"I'm out like a thief in the night."
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"I'll tell you what, I'm out of here."
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"All right. One second."
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"Yup. Okay, um..."
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"No, it's this last one right here."
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"there wouldn't be rich people."
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"That's my girl! Now scram, Bill."
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"Now, okay, Beth..."
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"See, in Japan, that's how they say excuse me. "Summymason.""
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"Brad Pitt."
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"It's like he's a movie star over there."
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"Wow. I-I am sorry to interrupt."
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"that knows exactly how sushi is made?"
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"[CHAIR SQUEAKS]"
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"[SQUEAK]"
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"[SQUEAKS]"
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"JIMMY: You're gonna love this!"
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"Are you serious? Yeah!"
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"Started out with, you know, a high school diploma,"
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"I invested those bonds"
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"What? Hang on for one second, would you?"
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"Three, two, one..."
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"Milku."
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"Milk is milku."
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"In fact, in Japan they've got"
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"[CHAIR SQUEAKS]"
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"Yes. Just ignore it."
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"My what?"
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"Your sex looks. You know, that look you give him"
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"every time you want him to do something."
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"Yeah, right now."
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"into something that you don't want to."
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"Now, you see Matthew over there? Uh-huh."
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"I sneak a variety of candies"
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"into Matthew's desk there."
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"that he likes that one candy?"
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"to, uh, make nougat clusters for the Pentagon."
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"[♪]"
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"Be right here if you need me, buddy."
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"Thirteen?"
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"Thirteen?"
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"I sold it at one."
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"No, it's okay. I only lost $32."
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"Okay, so I only lost $132."
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"That's right. But you could feed an army"
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"I can put them off a bit longer."
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"than you can possibly imagine, Vader."
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"[KNOCK ON DOOR]"
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"Come in."
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"Oh, oh, it's great. Thank you very much, Matthew."
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"It's sitting in the garbage--"
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"Oh, I should have given it to Joe. I knew it."
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"I'd be talking to your torso right now."
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"[SIGHS]"
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"No, no, no, no. No more tips."
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"Half the credit card companies"
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"and we'll leave it at that."
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"I can't take that. Take it."
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"I can't. Take it."
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"I took all the stock tips you gave me, and..."
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"I sold them to Bill."
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"You sold them to Bill? I told you specifically--"
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"I'm sorry, he gave me $500 a tip,"
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"even after the third one tanked?"
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"...2500."
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"Oh, right."
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"Have you ever lost something very dear to you?"
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"of a massive sum of cash."
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"Stock market?"
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"But it's not just the money I've lost, Dave."
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"All I wanted was enough to buy a little house in Nantucket,"
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"Wow."
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"Well, it's all gone now."
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"Bill, that-- That's actually very sharp."
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"Bill. Bill. Bill, put-- Put the sword down."
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"The what?"
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"David, you do not have to do this to make me feel--"
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"I didn't actually go to Japan."
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"so that you guys wouldn't think I was...weird."
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