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Clips from Kevin Can Wait - I'll Be Home for Christmas... Maybe (S01E01)

"Okaaaay!"
Kevin Can Wait
"but that chimney is way too big."
Kevin Can Wait
"Yeah, the roof's gonna cave."
Kevin Can Wait
"Oh! A gingerbread house!"
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"It's like a guard tower."
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"Aaaaaaah!"
Kevin Can Wait
"sitting in my chair."
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"- Okay, I hate it. - No."
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"I guess I could do a couple of these, all right?"
Kevin Can Wait
"N... Uh-uh. No, no, no, no."
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"Pretty? That thing is a death machine."
Kevin Can Wait
"How do they look?"
Kevin Can Wait
"Yeah, okay. That's off the list."
Kevin Can Wait
"Kind of like Bigfoot at a bar mitzvah."
Kevin Can Wait
"I'm sorry, guys. Can we just order?"
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"Sometimes before you get out of the driveway."
Kevin Can Wait
"Those are the ones that just break your heart."
Kevin Can Wait
"You know when the light turns yellow"
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"and you just don't know whether to speed up or slow down,"
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"Every... single... day."
Kevin Can Wait
"Making casual conversation."
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"It's just a lot."
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"I'd be freaking out, looking for a hiding spot."
Kevin Can Wait
"and then you won't have to worry anymore."
Kevin Can Wait
"in the house alone again... Ever."
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"Let's do... Hey, you know the ones that come with bacon"
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"And... she's gone."
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"she just gets upset and leaves."
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"Usually it's me."
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"Well, I mean, this is awkward."
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"What do we do now?"
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"I am, yeah."
Kevin Can Wait
"What do you got here?"
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"I will, and I do. Thank you."
Kevin Can Wait
"You can't even keep Louie inside."
Kevin Can Wait
"Kids, Uncle Kevin's gonna babysit you guys"
Kevin Can Wait
""Lisa from down the street" incident."
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"And salami, salami, salami."
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"That's why you're so big."
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"Okay, you know what?"
Kevin Can Wait
"I'm not sure that type of attitude"
Kevin Can Wait
"Not if I call him."
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"Okay. I will."
Kevin Can Wait
"Here you go."
Kevin Can Wait
"Who lives in Santa's garage."
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"Uh, just not sure we should bring her some presents"
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"this year, you know?"
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"Sounds like she's a candidate for the naughty list!"
Kevin Can Wait
"I'm sorry!"
Kevin Can Wait
"- Hang up! - Okay."
Kevin Can Wait
"Eat!"
Kevin Can Wait
"Randi with an "I.""
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"Kyle! You did, like, three things on my list!"
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"Thank you."
Kevin Can Wait
"And I know how much you love hot toddies,"
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"They didn't put themselves there."
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"Oh, and I noticed that your chimney was caked with soot."
Kevin Can Wait
"so you can have the fire you deserve on Christmas."
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"Trying to get a house full of kids to sit down and do their homework"
Kevin Can Wait
"is a production."
Kevin Can Wait
"I have some idea."
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"Cindy got snowed in at the casino,"
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"and Mott asked if I could hang out until she got back."
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"Okay, well, you know, take all the time you need,"
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"I mean, Kyle is amazing."
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"He does all this work."
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"He doesn't complain or drag his feet."
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"I'm so happy for you, honey."
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"Hey, guy. Sorry I'm late."
Kevin Can Wait
"Good. 'Cause I threw your meatloaf in the garbage, okay?"
Kevin Can Wait
"I tried. A-Actually, I think there's a cellphone tower down."
Kevin Can Wait
"I couldn't get a signal."
Kevin Can Wait
"making their little ornaments."
Kevin Can Wait
"for their Christmas tree tonight."
Kevin Can Wait
"Oh."
Kevin Can Wait
"Oh, and I didn't work all day?"
Kevin Can Wait
"Look, y-you know what? You're right."
Kevin Can Wait
"You're not just saying? Don't bring my hopes up again."
Kevin Can Wait
"Don't you do that."
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"I promise."
Kevin Can Wait
"Okay, just text me next time."
Kevin Can Wait
"Meatloaf's in the fridge. I didn't really throw it out."
Kevin Can Wait
"I'm sorry. I don't wanna overstep my bounds."
Kevin Can Wait
"Oh. But you should know that Jack and I had the talk."
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"He's only 10."
Kevin Can Wait
"so I thought it was his way of hinting around."
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"- Hey, babe. - Hey."
Kevin Can Wait
"I'm gonna have a glass of wine. You want one?"
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"Oh, I probably shouldn't."
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"Okay."
Kevin Can Wait
"If I'm not cooking, I'm cleaning."
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"If I'm not cleaning, I'm doing laundry."
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"And do I ever hear a thank-you? No, I do not."
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"He did."
Kevin Can Wait
"Okay, and you know what?"
Kevin Can Wait
"It's like, I wanna hear I look..."
Kevin Can Wait
"Well, at least you're hearing something."
Kevin Can Wait
"Big kids, watch the smaller ones."
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"Hey, isn't that your other family?"
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"I'm taking care of seven children!"
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"I..."
Kevin Can Wait
"Well, the kids, they really wanted a tree."
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"I had to pull the trigger."
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"But look at this."
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"I've never had one of these before."
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"So, I should..."
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"Yeah."
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"You look good."
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"So, I'll see you soon?"
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"Back home, where we both live."
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"But that doesn't mean"
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"there won't be a place for you always in my heart."
Kevin Can Wait
"with the relentless weight jokes."
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"I know you do."
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"♪ All is calm, all is bright ♪"
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"♪ Holy infant so tender... ♪"
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"♪ Sing the ancient Christmas carol ♪"
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"♪ Fa la la la la, la la la la ♪"
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"Yeah!"
Kevin Can Wait
"Or we could watch the great Christmas classic "Die Hard.""
Kevin Can Wait
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