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Clips from The In-Laws (1979)

"- I'm starving, so it's fine with me. - I'll take drink orders and make them myself."
The In-Laws (1979)
"My father was like a maniac before you came."
The In-Laws (1979)
"Vince, how long did you actually live in Guatemala?"
The In-Laws (1979)
"Oh, he was gone for ages."
The In-Laws (1979)
"I was in the jungle ‒"
The In-Laws (1979)
"for approximately nine months."
The In-Laws (1979)
"Nine months. My God. That really must have been something."
The In-Laws (1979)
"Sheldon, it was unbelievable."
The In-Laws (1979)
"I saw things..."
The In-Laws (1979)
"They have tsetse flies down there the size of eagles."
The In-Laws (1979)
"Really."
The In-Laws (1979)
"In the evening, I would stand in front of my hut and watch in horror"
The In-Laws (1979)
"as these giant flies would pick children off the ground and carry them away."
The In-Laws (1979)
"- My God. - Oh, the things he told us."
The In-Laws (1979)
"Oh, it was an incredible sight."
The In-Laws (1979)
"Peasants screaming, chasing these flies down the road, waving brooms."
The In-Laws (1979)
"You can imagine the pathetic quality"
The In-Laws (1979)
"of this waving these crudely fashioned brooms at these enormous flies"
The In-Laws (1979)
"as they carried their children off to almost certain death."
The In-Laws (1979)
"Oh, that is just the most horrible thing."
The In-Laws (1979)
"You sure these are flies you're talking about?"
The In-Laws (1979)
"Flies."
The In-Laws (1979)
"The natives had a name for 'em."
The In-Laws (1979)
"José Grecos de Muertos."
The In-Laws (1979)
"Flamenco dancers of death."
The In-Laws (1979)
"You took those slides of them that never came out, remember?"
The In-Laws (1979)
"That's a shame. I really would have liked to have seen those slides."
The In-Laws (1979)
"- Me too. - Yeah."
The In-Laws (1979)
"It broke my heart because those slides would've won me a Pulitzer Prize."
The In-Laws (1979)
"The enormous flies flapping slowly away into the sunset."
The In-Laws (1979)
"Small, brown babies clutched in their beaks."
The In-Laws (1979)
"Wow."
The In-Laws (1979)
"A sight I'll never forget."
The In-Laws (1979)
"I was stunned. Appalled."
The In-Laws (1979)
"What did you do?"
The In-Laws (1979)
"Sadly, there's very little you can do"
The In-Laws (1979)
"because of the tremendous red tape in the bush."
The In-Laws (1979)
"There's red tape in the bush?"
The In-Laws (1979)
"Enormous red tape, Sheldon."
The In-Laws (1979)
"These flies, for example, uh, they're protected against pilferage"
The In-Laws (1979)
"under the provisions of the Guacamole Act of 1917."
The In-Laws (1979)
"I've been getting the National Geographic for years. I never ran into any ‒"
The In-Laws (1979)
"- Dad, could I have some more wine? - Yeah."
The In-Laws (1979)
"I'd like some too, for the purposes of a toast."
The In-Laws (1979)
"Oh, uh, good idea."
The In-Laws (1979)
"Um..."
The In-Laws (1979)
"I'm not the most eloquent guy in the world."
The In-Laws (1979)
"But I would like to say that this has been a most lovely occasion."
The In-Laws (1979)
"And I couldn't agree more."
The In-Laws (1979)
"And on Sunday, there's gonna be another occasion,"
The In-Laws (1979)
"even more lovely, more sacred."
The In-Laws (1979)
"And all I really want to say is that"
The In-Laws (1979)
"I'm just honored"
The In-Laws (1979)
"and moved to be part of the Kornpett family."
The In-Laws (1979)
"And I hope we'll be together in the good times to share 'em with joy."
The In-Laws (1979)
"Oh."
The In-Laws (1979)
"as difficult as it is for me to give my little girl away,"
The In-Laws (1979)
"I'm very happy that it's to someone as wonderful as Tommy."
The In-Laws (1979)
"And my hope is that the Kornpetts and Ricardos share"
The In-Laws (1979)
"many happy and peaceful occasions"
The In-Laws (1979)
"Oh, hear, hear!"
The In-Laws (1979)
"Phone?"
The In-Laws (1979)
"- Uh, there's one in the kitchen. - Where is the furthest one?"
The In-Laws (1979)
"I have to make a long-distance call,"
The In-Laws (1979)
"and sometimes with these overseas connections I have to scream like a banshee."
The In-Laws (1979)
"Well, there's one in the basement, but it's a mess."
The In-Laws (1979)
"Please, don't bother. I'll find it."
The In-Laws (1979)
"Dad and his mysterious phone calls."
The In-Laws (1979)
"I-I just said Dad and his mysterious phone calls."
The In-Laws (1979)
"What the hell do you mean by that?"
The In-Laws (1979)
"Nothing. Really."
The In-Laws (1979)
"You're just always makin' these weird calls in back rooms and pay booths."
The In-Laws (1979)
"You little snot-nose! Those phone calls put you through college!"
The In-Laws (1979)
"- Vince ‒ - I-I'm sure Tommy d-didn't mean ‒"
The In-Laws (1979)
"I worked myself up to a position"
The In-Laws (1979)
"where I can make these kind of top-level phone calls to top businessmen,"
The In-Laws (1979)
"and my own son derogates."
The In-Laws (1979)
"Dad, I wasn't derogating."
The In-Laws (1979)
"Well, maybe you weren't."
The In-Laws (1979)
"I'm terribly sorry, everybody. It's been a long day."
The In-Laws (1979)
"Oh, listen..."
The In-Laws (1979)
"Um, he's, um ‒"
The In-Laws (1979)
"- Oh, listen... - I mean n-normally, he's, uh ‒"
The In-Laws (1979)
"Usually he's so affectionate and physical with Tommy."
The In-Laws (1979)
"Listen, I can understand a certain amount of resentment."
The In-Laws (1979)
"After all, he's had to work really hard in his life and I really haven't."
The In-Laws (1979)
"It's Ricardo."
The In-Laws (1979)
"Yes, very smoothly."
The In-Laws (1979)
"But listen, that kind of money by tomorrow, that's impossible."
The In-Laws (1979)
"No, Ralph, you don't understand."
The In-Laws (1979)
"I kept one out just in case you pulled something like this."
The In-Laws (1979)
"What's the point in threatening me? You can't ‒"
The In-Laws (1979)
"- Dad, what are you talking about? - What am I talkin' about?"
The In-Laws (1979)
"The man is crazy. That's what I'm talkin' about."
The In-Laws (1979)
"He's crazy? Look at yourself. You're foaming at the mouth."
The In-Laws (1979)
"Sweetheart, I love you very much, but I know about these things."
The In-Laws (1979)
"That man is crazy. I will not have you marrying into that family."
The In-Laws (1979)
"You're being absolutely Sicilian about this."
The In-Laws (1979)
"I'm marrying Tommy, not Vince."
The In-Laws (1979)
"Mm-mmm. Tommy is the acorn."
The In-Laws (1979)
"What acorn?"
The In-Laws (1979)
"The acorn, sweetheart, from the tree."
The In-Laws (1979)
"- It's a saying. - Oh."
The In-Laws (1979)
"It's a great saying, Dad. Really captures a whole lot."
The In-Laws (1979)
"I don't need the sarcasm. It's off."
The In-Laws (1979)
"- It is not off. - It's off!"
The In-Laws (1979)
"I'm calling the caterers. I'm calling the guests."
The In-Laws (1979)
"Damn it. We are not calling it off."
The In-Laws (1979)
"Tommy and I are gonna go to Vegas or some sleazy thing like that. I don't care."
The In-Laws (1979)
"But we are getting married."
The In-Laws (1979)
"- God, Mom, will you please tell him? - I think you're being a little irrational."
The In-Laws (1979)
"I'm being irrational?"
The In-Laws (1979)
"I sit there listening to stories about the Guacamole Act of 1917"
The In-Laws (1979)
"and I'm being irrational?"
The In-Laws (1979)
"Well, so he embellishes a little bit."
The In-Laws (1979)
"He didn't practically belt him in the mouth."
The In-Laws (1979)
"He almost belted Tommy in the mouth."
The In-Laws (1979)
"Then he's gotta go down in the basement to make phone calls. What is that?"
The In-Laws (1979)
"- And what else? - I don't like, uh ‒"
The In-Laws (1979)
"I don't like his whole manner."
The In-Laws (1979)
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