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Clips from Married with Children - No Ma'am (S08E08)

"This is ridiculous. I worked hard all week."
Married with Children
"I'm not gonna sit home on bowling night."
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"We can't go home. We're too weak."
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"Hey, I got it. We can go to a movie."
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"- Hey, yeah. - Yeah."
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"Hey, Peg."
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"Peg, do we have a paper?"
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"All right, let's see what's playing."
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"Hey!"
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"Here's a gripping drama about a newlywed couple..."
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"...waiting for their furniture to arrive."
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"It's called, Where, Oh, Where is the Mayflower Man?"
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"- Any boobs? - William Hurt and Glenn Close."
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"- Oh, jeez. - Sounds like it blows."
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"- Yeah, but where could we hide it? - How about in your wife's hair?"
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"How about in your wife's chin?"
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"- Come on, now! - Come on."
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"Come on, they're making us turn against each other."
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"- There must be something we can do. - I know where we can go."
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"To the last great bastion for the American red-blooded male."
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"Where there is no such thing as ladies' night."
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"At the nudie bar!"
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"Where a buck's enough to see their stuff."
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"Where the breasts may be fake, but, man, do they shake."
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"At the nudie bar!"
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"Where you swear like a sailor and wish you could nail her."
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"At the nudie bar!"
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"Where the cops are at the door and there's a Kennedy on the floor."
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"At the nudie bar!"
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"Nudie bar."
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"Hey, this is great. It's better than bowling."
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"You can work up a sweat without working up a sweat."
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"You know, I haven't been in here since they jazzed up the place."
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"And they even put up a curtain."
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"Well, some things don't change."
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"Gentlemen, present dollars."
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"Hooters! Hooters! Hooters! Hoot...!"
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"...I would like to dedicate this poem..."
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"...to my ovaries."
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"I don't think we're in Kansas anymore."
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"My eggs, my eggs"
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"He begs, he begs To be the father of my eggs"
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"My eggs, my eggs"
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"Oh, swim to meet my eggs"
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"Turning the nudie bar into a coffee house."
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"What're we gonna do with our Saturday nights?"
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"We could play bonbon toss with your wife."
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"Yeah, we can play peanut toss with the elephant you call your wife."
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"Doesn't the Constitution guarantee us the right to life..."
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"...nudity and the pursuit of happiness?"
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"Are you sure that's nudity?"
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"Life, nudity, yeah."
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"This is the last straw."
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"I say it's time we stood up to the onslaught of this womaninity."
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"They've taken everything."
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"I say it's time that we take something away from them."
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"...it's jerry Springer, the masculine fe..."
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"Tonight's broadcast of The Masculine Feminist..."
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"...has been commandeered by the secret society No Ma'am."
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"National Organization of Men Against Amazonian Masterhood."
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"I would reveal my true identity, but for political reasons, I cannot."
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"But do not take me lightly."
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"I once scored four touchdowns in a single game for Polk High."
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"Hey, Daddy once scored four touchdowns too."
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"And that's Mr. D'Arcy, and Mr. Anderson and Bob Rooney."
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"Boy, if Marcie finds out about this she'll be down there in a second."
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"Gee, I wonder if she's watching."
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"Well, I guess so."
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"Every day for the past 30 years..."
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"...you high-heeled pit bulls have blamed us for everything."
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"From not being able to get into Harvard..."
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"...to not being able to get into stretch pants."
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"We've been called pigs."
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"We've been called scum."
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"We've even been called plywood-bottom."
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"Or at least I have."
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"Well, we're sick and tired of this. Now, we have a list of demands."
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"If these demands are not met we are going to take this masculine feminist..."
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"...and perform television's first sexorcism."
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"- My name is Hank. - Oh, right."
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"- Sorry, Hank. - That's okay, Al."
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"Anyway..."
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"...not only will we force Jerry to watch hours of pro wrestling..."
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"...but we'll force him to watch it in these."
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"It's all me."
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"It's all me boxers, courtesy of Mr. Bob Rooney."
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"I mean, Dirk Rooney."
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"Back to you, Al... Clyde."
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"Hell."
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"Demand one:"
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"You gals want a ladies' night?"
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"Demand two:"
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"Don't put on a dress and ask us if it makes you look fat."
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"Besides, it's not the dress that makes you look fat."
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"It's the fat that makes you look fat."
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"Demand three:"
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"Don't ask us to talk or cuddle after sex."
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"Or before sex, or during sex. You're lucky we take our pants off."
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"You take your pants off?"
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"How do you get them over your shoes?"
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"Demand four:"
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"Don't ask us to say I love you over the phone."
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"It's hard enough to say to someone..."
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"...we're paying a dollar a minute to talk to."
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"Demand five: Stop talking about Fabio."
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"Yeah. With his long, flowing blond hair and 48-inch chest..."
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"...we're the ones who should be talking about..."
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"...but somebody couldn't blow his nose without a hanky."
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"So, ladies, you've got 30 minutes..."
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"Which, of course, is two hours in woman's time."
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"We'Il..."
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"- Ready. - Break!"
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"Or we'll go for burgers."
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"It didn't make any sense, did it? Wait a minute."
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"What about Berkowitz?"
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"We could change our name to that."
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"- No. - Can't spell it."
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"Let's see, what about...? What about Borden?"
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"- What can you spell? - Cat."
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"Now, I don't want everyone to think..."
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