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Clips from Community (2009) - Virtual Systems Analysis (S03E03)

It's a sexy emotional school

"It's a sexy emotional school"

Community (2009)

where doctors save lives and make love,

"where doctors save lives and make love,"

Community (2009)

Our stories, ripped from the headlines.

"Our stories, ripped from the headlines."

Community (2009)

Our passions, unbridled.

"Our passions, unbridled."

Community (2009)

Our cafeteria, eh...

"Our cafeteria, eh..."

Community (2009)

Make love to me, Ann.

"Make love to me, Ann."

Community (2009)

I know I'm just a surgeon

"I know I'm just a surgeon"

Community (2009)

and you're a hotshot upstart administrator,

"and you're a hotshot upstart administrator,"

Community (2009)

Okay, Abed, I get it, we have different sensibilities.

"Okay, Abed, I get it, we have different sensibilities."

Community (2009)

I'm leaving.

"I'm leaving."

Community (2009)

Okay, Dr. Jeff,

"Okay, Dr. Jeff,"

Community (2009)

can you please tell me where I can find Abed?

"can you please tell me where I can find Abed?"

Community (2009)

I owe him an apology.

"I owe him an apology."

Community (2009)

Abed? Never heard of him.

"Abed? Never heard of him."

Community (2009)

I asked you a question, doctor.

"I asked you a question, doctor."

Community (2009)

I left my wife for you and she was pregnant!

"I left my wife for you and she was pregnant!"

Community (2009)

Who do you think inseminated her?

"Who do you think inseminated her?"

Community (2009)

Now tell me what I want to know or God as my witness,

"Now tell me what I want to know or God as my witness,"

Community (2009)

Render environment bio lab.

"Render environment bio lab."

Community (2009)

Look, there's Britta and Troy fooling around with each other.

"Look, there's Britta and Troy fooling around with each other."

Community (2009)

Look, there's Abed having overcome his issues.

"Look, there's Abed having overcome his issues."

Community (2009)

Nice try.

"Nice try."

Community (2009)

Dr. Barnes, Dr. Perry.

"Dr. Barnes, Dr. Perry."

Community (2009)

We just saved an uninsured homeless man's life.

"We just saved an uninsured homeless man's life."

Community (2009)

Using an unapproved procedure.

"Using an unapproved procedure."

Community (2009)

Now, we're going to kiss.

"Now, we're going to kiss."

Community (2009)

This is what you think I want?

"This is what you think I want?"

Community (2009)

What do you want, administrator?

"What do you want, administrator?"

Community (2009)

I want to talk to Abed.

"I want to talk to Abed."

Community (2009)

There's no one here by that name.

"There's no one here by that name."

Community (2009)

I was raised on the mean streets of Harlem.

"I was raised on the mean streets of Harlem."

Community (2009)

I'm not scared of you.

"I'm not scared of you."

Community (2009)

Sodium pentothal, known commonly as truth serum.

"Sodium pentothal, known commonly as truth serum."

Community (2009)

I saw Abed's name in the hospital school files,

"I saw Abed's name in the hospital school files,"

Community (2009)

I love butt stuff, I hate spiders,

"I love butt stuff, I hate spiders,"

Community (2009)

I stole a pen from the bank,

"I stole a pen from the bank,"

Community (2009)

I cried during About a Boy... The soundtrack...

"I cried during About a Boy... The soundtrack..."

Community (2009)

I don't wash my hands before surgery.

"I don't wash my hands before surgery."

Community (2009)

where I might just as well be attracted to him.

"where I might just as well be attracted to him."

Community (2009)

I use comparisons to Hitler to win arguments on the Internet

"I use comparisons to Hitler to win arguments on the Internet"

Community (2009)

at the drop of a hat.

"at the drop of a hat."

Community (2009)

I know nothing about wine.

"I know nothing about wine."

Community (2009)

I just want to know they feel comfortable.

"I just want to know they feel comfortable."

Community (2009)

I didn't get Inception.

"I didn't get Inception."

Community (2009)

I didn't get Inception.

"I didn't get Inception."

Community (2009)

There's so many layers.

"There's so many layers."

Community (2009)

Right, render environment medical study room.

"Right, render environment medical study room."

Community (2009)

There's head nurse, Shirley,

"There's head nurse, Shirley,"

Community (2009)

talking to tragic, heart-wrenching Alzheimer's

"talking to tragic, heart-wrenching Alzheimer's"

Community (2009)

patient and Emmy-contender, Pierce Hawthorne.

"patient and Emmy-contender, Pierce Hawthorne."

Community (2009)

Mr. Hawthorne, you're out of your bed again.

"Mr. Hawthorne, you're out of your bed again."

Community (2009)

'Cause I think I'm on a train.

"'Cause I think I'm on a train."

Community (2009)

Oh! Oh!

"Oh! Oh!"

Community (2009)

Shirley, get me the file on Abed.

"Shirley, get me the file on Abed."

Community (2009)

He exists if I say so.

"He exists if I say so."

Community (2009)

This is my hospital school.

"This is my hospital school."

Community (2009)

being run through a filter of other people's needs.

"being run through a filter of other people's needs."

Community (2009)

Abed's been filtered out because nobody needs him.

"Abed's been filtered out because nobody needs him."

Community (2009)

I need him.

"I need him."

Community (2009)

Well you're not simulated.

"Well you're not simulated."

Community (2009)

No, but this is!

"No, but this is!"

Community (2009)

And there's more where that didn't come from.

"And there's more where that didn't come from."

Community (2009)

This is a private compartment.

"This is a private compartment."

Community (2009)

- Jeff, get the files. - Why me?

"- Jeff, get the files. - Why me?"

Community (2009)

Because you can see the cabinets.

"Because you can see the cabinets."

Community (2009)

Jackpot.

"Jackpot."

Community (2009)

There is an Abed in this hospital school,

"There is an Abed in this hospital school,"

Community (2009)

but he's not a doctor.

"but he's not a doctor."

Community (2009)

He's a patient.

"He's a patient."

Community (2009)

- Notify security! - Conductor!

"- Notify security! - Conductor!"

Community (2009)

Where is that?

"Where is that?"

Community (2009)

Enough games, just take me where I wanna go.

"Enough games, just take me where I wanna go."

Community (2009)

Follow me.

"Follow me."

Community (2009)

"Are we close?"

Community (2009)

Almost there, although you should probably run in place

"Almost there, although you should probably run in place"

Community (2009)

and let the hall move around you.

"and let the hall move around you."

Community (2009)

- Here we are. - Where?

"- Here we are. - Where?"

Community (2009)

Where you wanted to go.

"Where you wanted to go."

Community (2009)

The last night of school, first year.

"The last night of school, first year."

Community (2009)

The night we kissed.

"The night we kissed."

Community (2009)

Ababed wasn't there, so whose memory is this?

"Ababed wasn't there, so whose memory is this?"

Community (2009)

Maybe it's yours.

"Maybe it's yours."

Community (2009)

Maybe the Dreamatorium really works.

"Maybe the Dreamatorium really works."

Community (2009)

Or maybe Leonard was watching from the bushes

"Or maybe Leonard was watching from the bushes"

Community (2009)

and told Abed about it.

"and told Abed about it."

Community (2009)

I don't have cable.

"I don't have cable."

Community (2009)

Knock it off, Abed.

"Knock it off, Abed."

Community (2009)

You're confused, so was I.

"You're confused, so was I."

Community (2009)

But not anymore.

"But not anymore."

Community (2009)

I don't wanna do this.

"I don't wanna do this."

Community (2009)

I want to talk to Abed.

"I want to talk to Abed."

Community (2009)

I'm taking the file.

"I'm taking the file."

Community (2009)

Oh, it says Abed is in the recovery parlor.

"Oh, it says Abed is in the recovery parlor."

Community (2009)

Condition... never better.

"Condition... never better."

Community (2009)

This is the file.

"This is the file."

Community (2009)

Abed Nadir, psychiatric patient 1373,

"Abed Nadir, psychiatric patient 1373,"

Community (2009)

control freak with no empathy.

"control freak with no empathy."

Community (2009)

People bend over backwards to cater to him.

"People bend over backwards to cater to him."

Community (2009)

Shh.

"Shh."

Community (2009)

You've thought of everything, Annie.

"You've thought of everything, Annie."

Community (2009)

With Abed gone and Troy and Britta together,

"With Abed gone and Troy and Britta together,"

Community (2009)

there's nothing standing in the way of us.

"there's nothing standing in the way of us."

Community (2009)

Wait, what?

"Wait, what?"

Community (2009)

Come on.

"Come on."

Community (2009)

This is you dream.

"This is you dream."

Community (2009)

This is why you played matchmaker.

"This is why you played matchmaker."

Community (2009)

This is what's important to you.

"This is what's important to you."

Community (2009)

You are not Jeff.

"You are not Jeff."

Community (2009)

Because Jeff cares about Abed.

"Because Jeff cares about Abed."

Community (2009)

so this would happen.

"so this would happen."

Community (2009)

I did it because I thought they were cute together

"I did it because I thought they were cute together"

Community (2009)

and this would have been a bonus.

"and this would have been a bonus."

Community (2009)

And we are not here.

"And we are not here."

Community (2009)

And I'm not staying here because I hate whoever you are.

"And I'm not staying here because I hate whoever you are."

Community (2009)

You should probably storm off in...

"You should probably storm off in..."

Community (2009)

In place.

"In place."

Community (2009)

Where do you wanna go next?

"Where do you wanna go next?"

Community (2009)

I wanna be alone.

"I wanna be alone."

Community (2009)

Sounds good to me.

"Sounds good to me."

Community (2009)

There.

"There."

Community (2009)

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