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Clips from Louie (2010) - Double Date / Mom (S01E01)

"Sometimes when I'm talking to my daughter..."
Louie (2010)
"Yeah, it is."
Louie (2010)
"And I get-- I mean, my dick is hard as a nail."
Louie (2010)
"It's swollen. My dick is swollen and leaking--"
Louie (2010)
"Stop making words-- You don't understand. You're not getting it."
Louie (2010)
"She's a fan. She thought it would be hot."
Louie (2010)
"...so here's what I'm willing to do, okay?"
Louie (2010)
"Yeah."
Louie (2010)
"I don't know, I'm supposed to give my kids values."
Louie (2010)
"Teaches you how to be a good person."
Louie (2010)
"Like, who you would be if you had no guidance?"
Louie (2010)
"...in my marrow that I can't really--"
Louie (2010)
"Mom? Hello, Louie."
Louie (2010)
"Mom. Sorry. They don't know you're divorced?"
Louie (2010)
"Daddy, can we please go now?"
Louie (2010)
"Well, I think this is very rude."
Louie (2010)
"My feet are killing me. Daddy?"
Louie (2010)
"Do you love her? Yeah."
Louie (2010)
"Why? I don't know."
Louie (2010)
"...when she's around you and your friends--"
Louie (2010)
"When you're alone with your mom, you can take it."
Louie (2010)
"I'm sorry, yes. Bring me a menu with larger type."
Louie (2010)
"Jesus Christ."
Louie (2010)
"What my journey has been? You know, Mom...."
Louie (2010)
"Your mother tells you she just found out who she is and you have no opinion?"
Louie (2010)
"I'm 42 now. I don't even ever think about you."
Louie (2010)
"The only person who loves you is my brother, and that's why he's a loser."
Louie (2010)
"Oh, Jesus."
Louie (2010)
"And not for any moral or societal reason. I don't give a shit."
Louie (2010)
"I mean, gay guys, I get it, because they're putting a dick in a place."
Louie (2010)
"...to put a dick than a man's ass?"
Louie (2010)
"It just looks weird, even."
Louie (2010)
"Bro, what are you telling me here?"
Louie (2010)
"It is? Yeah."
Louie (2010)
"So you're gonna get screened for gay genes?"
Louie (2010)
"I don't know."
Louie (2010)
"Why are you wearing a suit?"
Louie (2010)
"Robbie, you're pretty fat too."
Louie (2010)
"Yeah, I'll have a vodka on the rocks. Perfect. Me too."
Louie (2010)
"Jasmine has been introducing me to a lot of new things."
Louie (2010)
"Aren't you happy that your mother finally found love?"
Louie (2010)
"How many times did I told you I loved you?"
Louie (2010)
"I'm your son. I'm just asking you to say that you love me."
Louie (2010)
"...I'll be looking down at her, my little girl, and I just--"
Louie (2010)
"I see my mother, you know?"
Louie (2010)
"Your mother? Yeah."
Louie (2010)
"No, I just mean when I look at my daughter..."
Louie (2010)
"...that's what I see sometimes. I see my mom."
Louie (2010)
"Is she standing in front of her or is...?"
Louie (2010)
"Are you at your mother's house or...?"
Louie (2010)
"Louie, Louie, Louie, Louie"
Louie (2010)
"Louie, Louie, Louie, Lou-ah"
Louie (2010)
"Louie, Louie, Louie, Louie"
Louie (2010)
"Louie, Louie, you're gonna cry"
Louie (2010)
"Louie, Louie, Louie, Louie"
Louie (2010)
"Louie, Louie, Louie, Lou-ah"
Louie (2010)
"Louie, Louie, Louie, Louie"
Louie (2010)
"Louie, Louie, you're gonna die"
Louie (2010)
"You doing a show tomorrow?"
Louie (2010)
"Yeah, I'm doing a short set at the Cellar."
Louie (2010)
"I got this girl I'm dating, you mind if I bring her?"
Louie (2010)
"Fine."
Louie (2010)
"What are you doing after?"
Louie (2010)
"I don't know. Why?"
Louie (2010)
"Maybe you could hang out with us after."
Louie (2010)
"You're gonna be on a date?"
Louie (2010)
"Come hang out with us after you're done."
Louie (2010)
"Why? That's weird."
Louie (2010)
"She wants to meet you."
Louie (2010)
"All right."
Louie (2010)
"After the show, I'll hang out for a few minutes, say hi, then you take her out."
Louie (2010)
"But...."
Louie (2010)
"What's the deal?"
Louie (2010)
"Okay, this is kind of weird."
Louie (2010)
"Don't get all jaggedy on me."
Louie (2010)
"Bro, I met this girl."
Louie (2010)
"I really like her. I mean, she's amazing and she gets me really, really horny."
Louie (2010)
"I mean, she's beautiful. I mean, this chick-- This woman...."
Louie (2010)
"Oh, my God. Okay, so what?"
Louie (2010)
"We've been out like six times."
Louie (2010)
"We always wind up back at her place making out, but--"
Louie (2010)
"I mean, really making out, tongues are everywhere."
Louie (2010)
"I mean, she's grabbing on me."
Louie (2010)
"She's grabbing on me-- This sounds great..."
Louie (2010)
"...but I don't wanna keep hearing about it. Okay, so..."
Louie (2010)
"...we always do the same thing, just making out at her place."
Louie (2010)
"This is the part I didn't want to hear, so stop."
Louie (2010)
"Okay, okay, okay. Okay, here's the thing."
Louie (2010)
"She really wants me."
Louie (2010)
"But only with another guy."
Louie (2010)
"She can't get off with one guy?"
Louie (2010)
"Anything less than two, she can't do it."
Louie (2010)
"So she said if I can get another guy-- Stop talking now. Stop talking."
Louie (2010)
"Don't say it out loud. Please don't say it out loud."
Louie (2010)
"I told her who you were."
Louie (2010)
"You want to have a threesome with your own brother?"
Louie (2010)
"No, no, no. She does. She does. I have a plan."
Louie (2010)
"You pretend like you're gonna do it, you're into it. We'll all go out..."
Louie (2010)
"...then we come back, you pretend like you're gonna start in with us..."
Louie (2010)
"...and then leave."
Louie (2010)
"You know, like you have to leave because you have prior engagements."
Louie (2010)
"And then I'm there, she's all hot. Louie, she's all hot and then--"
Louie (2010)
"Look, it might not work, but that's my only chance, bro."
Louie (2010)
"Look, you're my brother, and I like you a lot..."
Louie (2010)
"I'm gonna go home now..."
Louie (2010)
"...and I'm not gonna talk to you for three weeks."
Louie (2010)
"Bro."
Louie (2010)
"Good luck. Bro."
Louie (2010)
"I don't have any of those."
Louie (2010)
"I used to, but they're melting away."
Louie (2010)
"They finally are. You know, you get instilled with values by your parents..."
Louie (2010)
"...and by school, whatever else."
Louie (2010)
"Society teaches you things, makes you--"
Louie (2010)
"But you ever feel for your real values inside?"
Louie (2010)
"I think about that sometimes. What are the things I believe..."
Louie (2010)
"That had to be shaved away? They're coming back now."
Louie (2010)
"Like, here's one. I really, somewhere deep down, I believe..."
Louie (2010)
"...that if you murder somebody and you never get caught, it's fine."
Louie (2010)
"You kind of didn't do anything wrong."
Louie (2010)
"Mom."
Louie (2010)
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