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Clips from Veep - Kissing Your Sister (S05E05)

"I mean, I don't think even he can get to 26."
Veep
"Looks like we're looking down the barrel of a Tom James presidency."
Veep
"Why is Tom..."
Veep
"Hey, don't worry, ma'am."
Veep
"Not if Tom James is president, I can't."
Veep
"- All right, everybody clear out. - Okay."
Veep
"Except you, Amy."
Veep
"Oh, God, come on, come on."
Veep
"Ma'am, you can't do that. He is the opposition..."
Veep
"It is the only fucking thing that I can do, Amy."
Veep
"Seriously."
Veep
"If O'Brien wins the presidency, I can run against him in four years."
Veep
"Tom's first term won't count"
Veep
"My God, in 12 years,"
Veep
"You better be right."
Veep
"- O'Brien 25. - He's one away."
Veep
"- I love you. - ...proudly casts its vote"
Veep
"- for President Selina Meyer. - I love you, too."
Veep
"With three abstentions, no candidate has received"
Veep
"If I lose, I lose."
Veep
"So plenty of presidents have lost"
Veep
"Oh."
Veep
"Yeah!"
Veep
"for me to get to kiss the sister I never knew I had."
Veep
"I'm just gonna ask you what you think"
Veep
"What do you think of Amy Brookheimer?"
Veep
"Do you think you had a crowning achievement as vice president?"
Veep
"Where do you see yourself in 20 years?"
Veep
"I have it penciled in 2036. Gonna go there."
Veep
"I'm so focused on the present."
Veep
"Let me ask you a question."
Veep
"on the matter of who will be the President of the United States."
Veep
"Senator William O'Brien from Arizona..."
Veep
"All right, here we go. Alabama first in the alphabet,"
Veep
"I believe it's number one in easiest state"
Veep
"- to get away with murdering a black guy. - Come on, come on."
Veep
"Alabama casts its vote for President Selina Meyer."
Veep
"That's my town!"
Veep
"Yeah... oh, Catherine."
Veep
"Would you please give it a rest with that camera?"
Veep
"My name is Catherine Meyer."
Veep
"who fell off the stage twice in one evening,"
Veep
"I'm a grown woman now with my own passions and interests."
Veep
"One of the biggest things that ever happened in my life"
Veep
"voted to decide the presidency of the United States"
Veep
"for the first time in 140 years."
Veep
"between Senator Bill O'Brien and the sitting president Selina Meyer, my mom."
Veep
"My bowling coach used to say a tie was like kissing your sister."
Veep
"Yeah, well, this feels like my sister took a shit on my chest."
Veep
"In order to tell this story,"
Veep
"the day after the presidential election was tied."
Veep
"but somewhere along the way,"
Veep
"I'm gonna have to have approval over all of this footage, Catherine, okay?"
Veep
"Okay, we can talk about that after."
Veep
"and Mother wasn't feeling well."
Veep
"Daddy asked me to be his date"
Veep
"for President Nixon's inaugural ball."
Veep
"Daddy did a lot of business with Bebe Rebozo."
Veep
"President Nixon entered the room"
Veep
"and, you know, he had his bow tie"
Veep
"and his eyebrows."
Veep
"Daddy leaned in to me and he said,"
Veep
"You know, a lot of people don't like Nixon,"
Veep
"but by God, they respect him."
Veep
"- Delaware? - Come on, come on."
Veep
"Delaware votes for President Selina Meyer."
Veep
"- Oh! - I don't want to jinx things, guys,"
Veep
"of who I'm going to punish when I win."
Veep
"I went home with a congressional fan girl last night."
Veep
"I don't have my car. I think I'm in Maryland."
Veep
"Well, first of all, sir, congratulations are in order."
Veep
"Shh! She's got a fucking parrot, and if the parrot wakes up,"
Veep
"- Has the vote started yet? - Yes, Delaware just voted."
Veep
"Shit. Shit. Okay, you gotta come get me."
Veep
"Okay, just drop a pin in Apple Maps and..."
Veep
"I don't know how to drop a fucking pin."
Veep
"- Do you have iOS 9.2.3? - Shut up."
Veep
"The day after the tie, the stock markets crashed,"
Veep
"This afternoon, I asked Tom James"
Veep
"to do his country the honor of stepping up to serve as economy czar"
Veep
"and to my absolute delight, he said yes."
Veep
"Did you ever play sports?"
Veep
"Remember how no one ever wanted to play catcher?"
Veep
"- How's it going? - It's going very well, thanks."
Veep
"- And Bob's your uncle. - Knock, knock, future calling."
Veep
"Cheese, please, Louise."
Veep
"We do."
Veep
"She's interviewing me for a college project."
Veep
"No, it's a doc."
Veep
"What do you think of the electoral tie?"
Veep
"I dream about your mother losing"
Veep
"and then coming upon her holding a cardboard sign"
Veep
"at the bottom of a highway exit ramp."
Veep
"serving the president the most abject humiliation"
Veep
"in the history of the United States."
Veep
"Oh, you know what the cardboard sign says?"
Veep
"What does it say?"
Veep
"What if you lose the presidency?"
Veep
"you can't think that way."
Veep
"That's what Mother always said."
Veep
"When you have those kinds of negative feelings,"
Veep
"and you close it down tight and you take that box"
Veep
"and you shove it way back here in your..."
Veep
"in the corner of your head and swallow that key."
Veep
"And then, poof, they're gone."
Veep
"And then that's it. And it works, too, sweetie."
Veep
"That's something that Mother told me that works."
Veep
"Okay, you pour the hot water into the pot, all right?"
Veep
"And then you pour it out, okay?"
Veep
"That's called hot in the pot."
Veep
"It's got chamomile and rose hips"
Veep
"and some other little special ingredients"
Veep
"that I'm not gonna tell you on camera."
Veep
"what's your take on the financial crisis."
Veep
"They should probably just print more."
Veep
"Okay, guys, when are we gonna fire Mike, by the way?"
Veep
"Because it is seriously just one fuckup after fuckup with him."
Veep
"Hey."
Veep
"Hi."
Veep
"Oh, my God, I want to do it forever."
Veep
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