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Clips from The Big Bang Theory - The Engagement Reaction (S04E04)

"Dear Lord."
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"Yeah. We're thinking of having it on a cliff overlooking the ocean."
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"...like the thought of falling and drowning."
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"Where indeed."
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"She's a lovely girl. Cute as a button."
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"...because I've got nothing but disappointment in here."
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"Ma?"
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"Son of a bitch. Ma, help."
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"I can't."
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"Fine, I'll go."
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"What can I tell you, after I found the courage..."
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"...is an event that's like a heart attack."
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"...festering in every nook and cranny of this hospital."
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"Mom also had just gotten some news that might have upset her."
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"That's nice that they're getting along."
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"...that friendship requires a certain give and take."
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"- Can I see her? - Actually, she said..."
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"Why don't I write you a prescription for Xanax?"
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"Good, good."
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"There was one time I put body glitter on."
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"You really are a mean little man."
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"Oh, we were just chatting."
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"Hey, how'd it go?"
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"- You know what that means? - Yeah. Do you?"
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"No, because I'm engaged to a putz."
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"To the toilet! Is that okay with you?"
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"Sorry. I'm just trying to cheer my buddy up."
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"Hey, do me a favor and take Table 7?"
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"...who's prone to canker sores and pinkeye?"
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"I prefer to look at it as the one with my ex-boyfriend..."
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"...and his gorgeous, successful girlfriend who makes me feel like a toothless Okie."
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"Do you want me to spill hot soup on her?"
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"Please, you're not that kind of person."
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"I know."
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"But if she orders something low-fat, I'll totally give her the full-fat version."
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"That's my water."
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"- What? - My water, you're drinking it."
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"- Have you been drinking it? - Yes, it's my water."
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"Well, that's it then. I'm dead."
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"Here we go."
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"I'm sorry, do I need to connect the dots for you?"
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"The backwash into this glass..."
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"...is every pathogen that calls your mouth "home sweet home.""
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"Not to mention the visitors who arrive on the tongue..."
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"...of your subtropical girlfriend."
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"Hey, that's my sister and my country you're talking about."
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"Leonard may have defiled one..."
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"...but I won't have you talking smack about the other."
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"- You guys ready to order? - Yes."
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"I'd like a seven-day course of penicillin..."
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"...some syrup of ipecac to induce vomiting and a mint."
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"- I don't understand. - He drank from Leonard's glass."
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""He drank from Leonard's glass.""
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"The words they'll be carving into my tombstone."
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"- That's actually my napkin. - Oh, this is a nightmare."
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"Where are you going?"
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"To the bar to sterilize my mouth with alcohol."
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"Gangway, dead man walking."
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"All right, here we go. Two lemonades..."
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"...one iced tea..."
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"...and a root beer for Priya."
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"- Is it diet? - That's what you ordered."
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"Thank you. Hey, have you and Howard started planning your wedding yet?"
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"Nothing soothes those pre-wedding jitters..."
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"What'd your mother say when you told her?"
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"He hasn't told her yet. He's waiting for the right time."
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"I was thinking of weaving it into her eulogy."
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"Howard, you've got to tell your mother."
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"Have you told your parents you're dating this short glass of skimmed milk yet?"
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"That's different. First of all, we're not engaged..."
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"...and second, Indian parents are very protective of their children."
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"Right. Whereas Jewish mothers take a casual la-di-da approach to their sons."
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"- You all right? - Fine. Thank you for asking."
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"I love you so much."
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"Fire demon."
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"Fire demon. Sheldon's turning up the heat."
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"Troll master."
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"Check it, Howard pulls one out from under the bridge. Nice."
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"Water nymph."
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"Oh, yeah, she's got puddles in all the right places."
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"Could you please play the game without commenting on every card?"
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"Sorry."
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"Walking tree."
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"- Last one. - I'm taking a stroll and sporting wood."
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"Bernadette and my mother are having a get-to-know-you lunch at the deli."
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"That sounds lovely."
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"Hope so. Course, if history is any indication..."
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"...my mother will swallow her whole and spit out her bones like an owl."
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"- Have you met Bernadette's parents? - You mean Adolf and Eva?"
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"Not yet. One goose step at a time."
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"Sheldon, that's my water."
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"Oh, dear Lord."
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"That's not your water."
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"I know."
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"Where's the mouthwash?"
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"Ma, I'm home!"
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"- Where are you? - I'm in the toilet!"
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"So how'd it go?"
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"Too soon to say, I'm not done yet!"
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"No, I mean lunch today with Bernadette."
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"Oh!"
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"I had a pastrami sandwich. She had eggplant lasagna."
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"Like that's what a person orders in a Jewish deli."
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"Besides food, did you get along?"
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"- Did you talk? - Oh, sure."
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"Did you know she's going to school to become a microbiologist?"
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"No, she never mentioned it."
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"I bet she did and you didn't listen."
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"Yeah, that's probably it. What do you think?"
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"Do you like her? I mean, she's great, huh?"
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"That's good to hear because I've got some news."
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"I hope it's good news..."
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"Ma?"
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"You too busy bearing down?"
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"Oh, my God. Ma? Ma? Stand back, I'm gonna break the door down."
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"- Hey. - Hello."
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"I haven't seen you in a while. How's it going?"
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"Other than waiting out the exponential growth period..."
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"...of the virulent organisms trooping through my microvilli..."
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"...into my circulatory system, hunky-dory."
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