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Clips from The Big Bang Theory - The Russian Rocket Reaction (S05E05)

"You're the whole package, aren't you?"
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"Sorry I'm late. Ugh, I got great news."
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"NASA picked my team's design for the deep field space telescope..."
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"...that's going on the International Space Station this spring."
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"- Oh, woo, heh. - Wow, heh."
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"Muhammad Li."
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"Who's Muhammad Li?"
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"Muhammad is the most common first name in the world..."
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"...Li, the most common surname."
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"As I didn't know the answer, I thought that gave me a mathematical edge."
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"It's me, Sheldon. It's me. I'm going up in space!"
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"Technically, I'm an astronaut."
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"- Oh, my God. - That's amazing."
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"- Heh. - Hang on a second."
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"NASA doesn't have a shuttle anymore."
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"- How are you gonna get up there? - Oh, uh, it's cool."
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"You fly to Moscow, they take you to Kazakhstan."
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"...on the black market, heh."
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"Are those Russian rockets safe?"
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"Safe as it can be..."
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"The dream to go up into space is one we all share..."
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"...and Howard's making that a reality. We're all very proud of you."
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"- That was a lovely toast. Kudos. - Thank you."
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"Simultaneously, a festival of cloying clichés. You sicken me."
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"You're really quiet. Is everything okay?"
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"Fine."
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"Just a little tired."
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"I hope not too tired because I'm feeling particularly masculine right now."
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"I always catch your drift."
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"Well, something's obviously bugging you."
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"I get it. We... You're worried about me."
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"That is so sweet. You know, there's a saying we have at NASA."
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"What makes the right stuff so right is that it always comes home."
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"Just stop talking, Howard."
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"This isn't the reaction I expected..."
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"...when I told you I was gonna be an astronaut."
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"What did you think was gonna happen?"
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"Honestly? Sex, heh."
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"- Howard. - Do you realize what a big deal this is?"
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"What an honor it is to be chosen to go into space?"
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"Yeah, I get it. I just wish you included me in the decision."
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"We're supposed to be partners. We're supposed to be a team."
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"I'm sorry. You're right."
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"...that impacts both of us and I'd like to discuss it."
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"- Okay. - Heh, I've been offered a chance..."
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"...to go up to the International Space Station for three weeks."
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"What are your thoughts on that?"
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"Well, first of all..."
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"...thank you for including me in the decision making process."
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"- No? - No."
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"Howard, ugh, my father was a police officer."
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"We never knew from one night to the next..."
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"...if he was gonna come home alive. It was horrible."
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"And I don't want to live that way with you."
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"Well, hey..."
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"We never saw him again."
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"Oh, boo hoo, you're not going to space."
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"- Pretty cool about Howard, huh? - Don't talk to me..."
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"...as if nothing's happened between us. And yes, it sure is, buddy."
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"Will you stop with the Schrödinger stuff?"
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"Would you prefer an application of Heisenberg's uncertainty principle?"
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"In which I could either know where you are..."
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"...or whether I like you, but not both?"
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"You never stop talking, do you?"
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"What difference does it make if Leonard goes to Wil Wheaton’s party?"
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"No, Wil Wheaton is Sheldon's mortal enemy."
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"Sheldon, I know you're a bit of a left-handed monkey wrench but..."
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"- You really have a mortal enemy? - In fact, I have 61 of them."
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"- Would you like to see the list? - Oh, say no, say no, say no, say no."
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"You just got off the list. Would you like back on it?"
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"This'll just take a moment. It's on a five and a quarter inch floppy."
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"- A floppy disk? - Well, I started the list when I was 9."
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"How did Wil Wheaton get on the list?"
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"- Oh, God. - Come on."
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"...Wil Wheaton's character on Star Trek."
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"So I drove for hours by bus to a Star Trek convention..."
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"...at which Wil Wheaton was scheduled to appear..."
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"...so that I could get my Wesley Crusher action figure signed."
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"But he never showed..."
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"...because apparently, it was "cooler" for him..."
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"...to be the lower-left corner on Hollywood Squares."
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"Oh, damn! The floppy failed."
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"Well, whoever was in charge of quality control..."
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"- Howard? - Change your mind about sex?"
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"I'm still mad but I'll do it."
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"No, I've just been thinking."
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"It doesn't matter if I'm afraid for your safety."
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"I don't want to be the person who stands between you and your dreams."
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"- Really? - Really."
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"If going into space means that much I will never say another word about it."
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"Thank you, heh."
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"- I love you. - I love you too, heh."
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"So sex now?"
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"I just forgot to brush my teeth. I'll be right back."
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"Over my dead body, my son goes into outer space!"
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"I'm ready."
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"Let me see if I got this right."
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"You actually asked Bernadette to leave your house?"
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"What choice did I have? She went behind my back..."
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"...and turned my own mother against me."
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"Wow, you're not only our first astronaut."
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"You're like a rock star."
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"- Little bit, heh. - I hate to say it..."
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"You see betrayal in others but not yourself."
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"Going to Wheaton's party is not betraying you."
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"Of course, you would have to believe that. Evil always thinks it's doing right."
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"Huh."
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"Excuse me, Stormtrooper. These are the droids you're looking for."
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"I'm going to a party."
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"I'm not turning R2-D2 and C-3PO over to the Empire!"
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"Not yet."
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"What's gonna happen next? Are you and Bernadette gonna break up?"
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"I don't know. If we're going to get back together, she's gonna have to apologize..."
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"...and accept that I'm a grown man who can make his own decisions."
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"Then she's going to have to convince your mother to let you go into space."
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"Obviously."
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"I had no choice. I had to tell his mother."
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"He can't go to space."
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"He's like a baby bird."
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"Do you know he once got an asthma attack..."
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