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Clips from American Dad! - Daddy Queerest (S04E04)

"Pizza and soda."
American Dad!
"[Laughs] You're fun hammered."
American Dad!
"I swear that's the first time you've genuinely made me laugh."
American Dad!
"You guys wanna meet her? Come on in, baby!"
American Dad!
"She's so heinous! What have I done?"
American Dad!
"Eat my mouth. [Chuckles]"
American Dad!
"[Moaning, Grunting]"
American Dad!
"Ooh, ooh. Still wet. Still wet. [Blowing]"
American Dad!
"You don't have toenails."
American Dad!
"Come on!"
American Dad!
"Your book was so inspiring, Mr. Mandela."
American Dad!
"Especially The Bucket List. Whoo! It got me. It got me."
American Dad!
"I thought it was one of Freeman's many nicknames, like Captain Morgan or Freckles."
American Dad!
"Do they have jokes in your country, or is it just sadness all the time?"
American Dad!
"Are you sad right now?"
American Dad!
"[Gasps, Coughs]"
American Dad!
"Drink to dull your shame?"
American Dad!
"Yes, I am."
American Dad!
"Nobel-winning author of Night and founder of-"
American Dad!
"You're a son of a b-bitch, you know that?"
American Dad!
"You're embarrassed of me. Admit it!"
American Dad!
"Don't touch me! Don't ever touch me!"
American Dad!
"- Stan, you're making a scene. - That is not a scene!"
American Dad!
"- You-You want-You want a scene? - [Glass Shatters]"
American Dad!
"- Hope you can swim, weasel! - [Yelps]"
American Dad!
"It's Wiesel. And yes, I can."
American Dad!
"Well, you don't have to worry about me embarrassing you ever again!"
American Dad!
"Francine, I need you to come home right now. Greg was mean to me!"
American Dad!
"What are you talking about, fruit loop? She's Terry's girlfriend."
American Dad!
"- Greg is Terry's boyfriend. - What?"
American Dad!
"See? That's not how a straight guy faints."
American Dad!
"My dad's upstairs packing. He didn't say a word."
American Dad!
"He just looked at me like he was envisioning all the guys I ever had sex with..."
American Dad!
"every late-night massage, every back-alley zipper fight..."
American Dad!
"- Terry! - Everybody calm down. I'll talk to Tank."
American Dad!
"I know what he's feeling. I used to think like him-"
American Dad!
"scared of the intimate man dance."
American Dad!
"You just have to figure out what it is."
American Dad!
"I'm sorry I told you your son was gay."
American Dad!
"But deep down, you must have known, so this is a good thing."
American Dad!
"No. I had no idea. This is terrible."
American Dad!
"- you're still glad your son's happy. - No."
American Dad!
"However, while you may understand it and not like it..."
American Dad!
"you're sad that your son was unhappy and kept this secret from you for so long."
American Dad!
"No. I'm happy I didn't know. I wish I'd never known."
American Dad!
"- Be that as it may, you think it's a choice... - [Car Alarm Chirps]"
American Dad!
"No, I know it's not a choice, and it still sickens me."
American Dad!
"- Dad, please. - No. I'm going to a hotel until my jersey retirement ceremony."
American Dad!
"He's probably just wondering how two guys can do it."
American Dad!
"two puzzle pieces that don't quite fit."
American Dad!
"She's fine."
American Dad!
"I just need to figure out the reason for Tank's hatred."
American Dad!
"I'm sorry. Are you-Are you talking to me?"
American Dad!
"What? Oh, no. I was just having an out loud realization."
American Dad!
"- Ah. - Would you like me to fill you in on what it was?"
American Dad!
"No, thanks. I have a lot of stuff going on in my own life right now."
American Dad!
"What's he got going on that's so important?"
American Dad!
"[Woman Crying]"
American Dad!
"And my Megan, she would have been 19 years old today."
American Dad!
"Your last name is very misleading given your tragic circumstances."
American Dad!
"And now our last speaker from MADD, Warren Beanstalk."
American Dad!
"[Applause]"
American Dad!
"Wow. I recognize a lot of faces here today."
American Dad!
"I've changed my ways."
American Dad!
"I now understand what a terrible epidemic underage drinking is."
American Dad!
"Sixty-seven percent of young people..."
American Dad!
"who drink before the age of 15 will try an illicit drug."
American Dad!
"Last year, 21% of underage drivers killed in accidents were intoxicated."
American Dad!
"And 96% of you..."
American Dad!
"will wind up making out with a girl of this caliber."
American Dad!
"[Speaking Japanese]"
American Dad!
"Roger, I can't believe you did this to me!"
American Dad!
"Come on. Let's go get drunk. You're driving."
American Dad!
"All-Pro fullback for the Washington Redskins."
American Dad!
"[Stan Over Megaphone] Tank Bates is a homosexual."
American Dad!
"Tank Bates is a homosexual."
American Dad!
"Tank Bates is a homosexual."
American Dad!
"But my dad's not gay!"
American Dad!
"Yes, he is. That's why he can't accept you, because he can't accept himself..."
American Dad!
"like Kevin Spacey..."
American Dad!
"- Come on, people. Show your support! - [Cheering]"
American Dad!
"He slept with all the cheerleaders, the coach's daughter..."
American Dad!
"when they thought you were gay..."
American Dad!
"don't you think you should give your own son a chance?"
American Dad!
"No! You think I care what these drunken slobs think?"
American Dad!
"[Exhales]"
American Dad!
"Dad, I'm sorry to do this here, but I'm gay. That's who I am."
American Dad!
"We have a child together. We're a family."
American Dad!
"I want you to be part of it, but only if you can accept me for who I am."
American Dad!
"[Emcee] Brenda, don't. You're breaking my heart."
American Dad!
"Sure, Stan took something extremely private and made it into a public spectacle..."
American Dad!
"but he was just trying to help."
American Dad!
"He may act like an idiot, but it comes from a good place."
American Dad!
"See that? She loves him for who he is..."
American Dad!
"in spite of his many, many, many faults."
American Dad!
"No. I don't need him in our life."
American Dad!
"You-You stood up for me, even though I acted like a complete fool."
American Dad!
"Of course. You're my husband. My idiot husband."
American Dad!
"Rudy! Rudy! Rudy!"
American Dad!
"[Stan] He did it! He got in the game for one play and made a tackle!"
American Dad!
"That wasn't the punch line."
American Dad!
"Joke's over, fellow. The lady laughed. Move on."
American Dad!
"#The sun in the sky has a smile on his face #"
American Dad!
"[Laughing, Chattering]"
American Dad!
"[Laughing]"
American Dad!
"Klaus, she's terrible in social situations."
American Dad!
"You know, Stan, she's the reason you never get invited to fancy events-"
American Dad!
"Bullock always has dignitaries and heads of state there."
American Dad!
"- Oh! - Then we shall gain our entry with booze."
American Dad!
"Oh, it's okay. They scored on the next play. Quarterback sneak."
American Dad!
"Terry, Greg is right."
American Dad!
"As her godmother, I'll be there to support you all the way."
American Dad!
"before you tell him you're a turd-burglar?"
American Dad!
"[Kisses] Our sex last night was so satisfying."
American Dad!
"Even though you had this baby out of wedlock..."
American Dad!
"[Laughs] Yes, of course we will."
American Dad!
"Please be patient, Stan. Terry said he'll tell his father."
American Dad!
"They really don't. Just use coasters now and again..."
American Dad!
"You and your partner, Terry, are great."
American Dad!
"See, because of his wife- I don't even know!"
American Dad!
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