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Clips from NewsRadio - Look Who's Talking (S04E04)

and I want all of you, my closest companions, to--

"and I want all of you, my closest companions, to--"

NewsRadio

Yeah. That's just what they want you to think.

"Yeah. That's just what they want you to think."

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Yes, I am. I'm going to have a baby.

"Yes, I am. I'm going to have a baby."

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Couldn't you just get a puppy?

"Couldn't you just get a puppy?"

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- So who's the lucky lady? - Nobody. Just me.

"- So who's the lucky lady? - Nobody. Just me."

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I'm adopting a baby.

"I'm adopting a baby."

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Yes, I am. I filled out an adoption request a while ago,

"Yes, I am. I filled out an adoption request a while ago,"

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You don't approve of single parents.

"You don't approve of single parents."

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Fine. I wear your scorn as a badge of honor.

"Fine. I wear your scorn as a badge of honor."

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So go ahead and point. I'm having this baby.

"So go ahead and point. I'm having this baby."

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Oh, that's from that one song. Matthew, we know.

"Oh, that's from that one song. Matthew, we know."

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My God. What kind of sick charity charges $500 for orphans to eat lunch?

"My God. What kind of sick charity charges $500 for orphans to eat lunch?"

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bid money to go out on a date with me.

"bid money to go out on a date with me."

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I'd be flattered. No, no.

"I'd be flattered. No, no."

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I need you to bid on me, make sure I go for a respectable price.

"I need you to bid on me, make sure I go for a respectable price."

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I'm your employee. Won't that look a little fishy?

"I'm your employee. Won't that look a little fishy?"

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Here. Hold this, Joe.

"Here. Hold this, Joe."

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You're gonna need to study that.

"You're gonna need to study that."

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No, she already rented that to some kid...

"No, she already rented that to some kid..."

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or filing a restraining order against a crazy aunt.

"or filing a restraining order against a crazy aunt."

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I'll be pretty close to... 50.

"I'll be pretty close to... 50."

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No, Bill. You'll be 75.

"No, Bill. You'll be 75."

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[ Laughs ] And I thought you were good at math.

"[ Laughs ] And I thought you were good at math."

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Hey, look at this. Miniature socks.

"Hey, look at this. Miniature socks."

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Bill, don't you think you should get married first...

"Bill, don't you think you should get married first..."

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I've been to every singles' pick-up meat rack in town.

"I've been to every singles' pick-up meat rack in town."

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doesn't qualify you to be a father.

"doesn't qualify you to be a father."

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Hey, look.

"Hey, look."

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Tell me about it. And as if that wasn't bad enough,

"Tell me about it. And as if that wasn't bad enough,"

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[ With English Accent ] Ooh, well, it's interesting you should ask.

"[ With English Accent ] Ooh, well, it's interesting you should ask."

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Beautiful countryside up there, no? Oh, yes, it's quite,

"Beautiful countryside up there, no? Oh, yes, it's quite,"

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uh, loverly.

"uh, loverly."

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It's really quite lovely. [ Imitates Buzzer ] Wrong.

"It's really quite lovely. [ Imitates Buzzer ] Wrong."

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So. How's, uh-- How's it coming?

"So. How's, uh-- How's it coming?"

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yon evening?

"yon evening?"

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We'll be back in two minutes with more on that fatal midtown bus crash.

"We'll be back in two minutes with more on that fatal midtown bus crash."

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Hey, guys, listen.

"Hey, guys, listen."

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Well, then, no. Thank you.

"Well, then, no. Thank you."

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Yes. You see, children need constant supervision and attention.

"Yes. You see, children need constant supervision and attention."

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No, but I'm expecting. How wonderful. When's it due?

"No, but I'm expecting. How wonderful. When's it due?"

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Around 5:00 this afternoon. Oh.

"Around 5:00 this afternoon. Oh."

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Hey, Bill. Look who I met. His name's Charlie.

"Hey, Bill. Look who I met. His name's Charlie."

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Oh, well, I love you too.

"Oh, well, I love you too."

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[ Charlie ] Love her baby.

"[ Charlie ] Love her baby."

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[ Giggling ] Nighttime. Daytime.

"[ Giggling ] Nighttime. Daytime."

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Nighttime.

"Nighttime."

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Watch me. Hey. Hello. Hi.

"Watch me. Hey. Hello. Hi."

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My name is Lisa.

"My name is Lisa."

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Oh, by all means. Okay, smile, honey.

"Oh, by all means. Okay, smile, honey."

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Oh, God, I can't believe I have to do this.

"Oh, God, I can't believe I have to do this."

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[ Clanking, Thud ]

"[ Clanking, Thud ]"

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You're welcome.

"You're welcome."

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an actual human life will be my responsibility.

"an actual human life will be my responsibility."

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Dave, I'd like you to be there to witness the miracle.

"Dave, I'd like you to be there to witness the miracle."

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You'd be honored?

"You'd be honored?"

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Well, yeah. I mean, you saw him in the park with those kids.

"Well, yeah. I mean, you saw him in the park with those kids."

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You get around a bunch of kids and all of a sudden you're acting like...

"You get around a bunch of kids and all of a sudden you're acting like..."

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I know. Isn't it great?

"I know. Isn't it great?"

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You said you thought he'd be a great dad.

"You said you thought he'd be a great dad."

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Anyways, who needs a little baby running around the place,

"Anyways, who needs a little baby running around the place,"

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Look, Bill really wants this, all right?

"Look, Bill really wants this, all right?"

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Were you raised in a P.O.W. camp?

"Were you raised in a P.O.W. camp?"

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Thirty-seven. See?

"Thirty-seven. See?"

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Maybe you'd feel better if you crawled inside your skinner box for a nap.

"Maybe you'd feel better if you crawled inside your skinner box for a nap."

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You know, you're right.

"You know, you're right."

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- It was the only logical thing to do. - Hmm! Quite.

"- It was the only logical thing to do. - Hmm! Quite."

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and so I just threw out the whole damn yacht entirely. [ Laughs ]

"and so I just threw out the whole damn yacht entirely. [ Laughs ]"

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[ Sighs ] The only cool thing about yachts...

"[ Sighs ] The only cool thing about yachts..."

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[ Chuckles ] Am I right, or am I right?

"[ Chuckles ] Am I right, or am I right?"

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- That's my driver. - Your driver?

"- That's my driver. - Your driver?"

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but he is good for a "larf" now and again.

"but he is good for a "larf" now and again."

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Beth. Beth. What the hell is he doing here?

"Beth. Beth. What the hell is he doing here?"

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Just make sure you bid enough to make me a hot property.

"Just make sure you bid enough to make me a hot property."

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I seem to recall you wanting to have a baby not so long ago.

"I seem to recall you wanting to have a baby not so long ago."

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Yes, well, that was different.

"Yes, well, that was different."

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September 7, 2003. Hmm.

"September 7, 2003. Hmm."

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Yeah. [ Grunts ]

"Yeah. [ Grunts ]"

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Bill's a plumber.

"Bill's a plumber."

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[ Chuckling ] Yeah, sure we do.

"[ Chuckling ] Yeah, sure we do."

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You know, you can make fun of my childhood all you want,

"You know, you can make fun of my childhood all you want,"

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but at least I didn't waste it watching reruns of Ed the Horse.

"but at least I didn't waste it watching reruns of Ed the Horse."

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Mister Ed. It's not Ed the Horse. I'm sorry.

"Mister Ed. It's not Ed the Horse. I'm sorry."

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Trouble conceiving? Not in the slightest. My plumbing's fine.

"Trouble conceiving? Not in the slightest. My plumbing's fine."

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I totally forgot that you're a plumber!

"I totally forgot that you're a plumber!"

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Isn't that right, Joseph?

"Isn't that right, Joseph?"

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I have no idea who you're talking to.

"I have no idea who you're talking to."

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Stretch. Cool. Let's go.

"Stretch. Cool. Let's go."

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Our first bachelor has attributes that include...

"Our first bachelor has attributes that include..."

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good listening skills, a winning smile...

"good listening skills, a winning smile..."

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Who would like to make the first bid?

"Who would like to make the first bid?"

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Do I hear $100 for this very eligible bachelor?

"Do I hear $100 for this very eligible bachelor?"

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Anyone?

"Anyone?"

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Fifteen thousand dollars.

"Fifteen thousand dollars."

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And you are?

"And you are?"

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I'm, uh-- I'm with the duchess of Greater North Chesterborough.

"I'm, uh-- I'm with the duchess of Greater North Chesterborough."

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[ Crowd Exclaiming ]

"[ Crowd Exclaiming ]"

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Background, financial statement, credentials, references--

"Background, financial statement, credentials, references--"

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That's wonderful. So, we'll see you in four or five years.

"That's wonderful. So, we'll see you in four or five years."

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That's not how it works, Mr. McNeal.

"That's not how it works, Mr. McNeal."

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I want my baby now. Where's my baby?

"I want my baby now. Where's my baby?"

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Mr. McNeal, we have an extremely long list of people ahead of you,

"Mr. McNeal, we have an extremely long list of people ahead of you,"

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many of whom have been waiting several years.

"many of whom have been waiting several years."

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I'm Bill McNeal, a radio personality.

"I'm Bill McNeal, a radio personality."

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No.

"No."

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You must have some extra babies back there somewhere.

"You must have some extra babies back there somewhere."

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Well, are you gonna be all right, Bill? What do you care?

"Well, are you gonna be all right, Bill? What do you care?"

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Well, I-- I actually do feel bad for you.

"Well, I-- I actually do feel bad for you."

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- Thanks. Wanna have a baby with me? - Not that bad.

"- Thanks. Wanna have a baby with me? - Not that bad."

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[ Woman Laughing ]

"[ Woman Laughing ]"

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Oh, it certainly did.

"Oh, it certainly did."

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I would like you to say hello to our new son.

"I would like you to say hello to our new son."

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Bill Jr.

"Bill Jr."

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Do you mind? Could I hold him just for a moment?

"Do you mind? Could I hold him just for a moment?"

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So very precious.

"So very precious."

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Don't worry. He's not going anywhere. I've got his car keys.

"Don't worry. He's not going anywhere. I've got his car keys."

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Why? I thought something like this might happen.

"Why? I thought something like this might happen."

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[ Bill ] If everyone's finished, I have an announcement...

"[ Bill ] If everyone's finished, I have an announcement..."

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I'd like to make. Go ahead, Bill.

"I'd like to make. Go ahead, Bill."

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Thanks, Lisa. My life is about to change in a very big way,

"Thanks, Lisa. My life is about to change in a very big way,"

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Oh, no. I'm sorry. Hang on. You're giving someone your liver?

"Oh, no. I'm sorry. Hang on. You're giving someone your liver?"

NewsRadio

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