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Clips from The Office - The Quiz (S01E01)

"- If I do it, we win the quiz. - New challenge."
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"- Double or quits. - It's a challenge."
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"- and that's it. That was the real quiz. - Choose one thing."
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"You really are a couple of sad little men. Aren't you."
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"Oh yeah they're sad little men? He's thrown a kettle over a pub, what have you done?"
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"Do you want a challenge or not?"
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"If I do it, we win the quiz we win the prize."
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"That's the real quiz."
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"- A chair? - No, not a chair."
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"- Throw Gareth over. - No, seriously..."
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"How about birthday boy? Throw him over."
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"- Throw his shoes over. - His shoes."
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"No, no!"
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"It's just a challenge."
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"Oi!"
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"- He's using the laces. - Bastard! I knew he would! I knew he would!"
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"So, Finch..."
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"- Thank you very much... - You'll get it back."
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"How are we going to know if it goes over?"
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"Go and check. Sussed. Go on."
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"Two... and three... and four..."
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"Looking good."
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"- Come on now. - Did it go over?"
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"- Did it go over? - Yeah. It came right past me."
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"The Wonder Horse!"
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"Your university education didn't help you there, did it now?"
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"and do not fuck with the big boys."
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"- Life! Life! - Chuck his hat over."
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"No, don't this hat, coz' it's a radio as well."
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"What an office. What an office!"
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"- Do you want any...? - Dawn lets go. See you, Tim."
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"See you later."
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"I'm 30 today."
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"Yeah, this is it, actually. It's nice."
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"I'm into... I like ballet. I love the novels of Proust."
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"I love the work of Alain Delon."
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"And that's, I think, what influenced her"
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"into buying me Hat FM."
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"I like the radio too."
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"Thats all right. It's all right. I think it's quite a sweet present."
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"I have to make sure Finchy gets here on time for the quiz tonight."
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"Seven o'clock on the dot."
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"Six... Six years in a row. Winners."
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"So er... you know..."
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"Brent. All right?"
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"Don't forget tonight. Oh, here we go. Straight away. Go on. Go on."
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"What's black and slides down Nelson's Column? Dunno."
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"No, it's not racist. I thought the column because he's... Yeah."
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"And she is black, and she probably... she's married. It's not even low."
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"Seven. Cheers. Bye."
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"What you doing in so early? Shit the bed?"
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"No. I haven't done that for weeks."
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"No. My mum got me up at quarter to seven to give me a birthday present."
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"- Happy birthday. - Thank you."
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"Something you can wear."
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"- The hat? - The hat, yes. Well done."
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"- Uhh..yeah. - Nice hat."
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"Um... Good. That's all in order."
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"What's the difference between your wages and your penis?"
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"I can find you lots of women who will blow your wages."
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"- What's that? - I don't know."
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"Why does that happen?"
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"Lock up your daughters, as they say."
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"Finch is on his way in for the quiz."
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"Chris Finch. Innit, Gareth?"
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"Yeah."
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"Keep that one you'll only be able to use 20% of it when you get me and him together!"
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"Gareth, innit?"
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"Hat."
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"To be honest, I think you're mad to let me and Finchy on the telly!"
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"We're like Morecambe and Wise when we get together."
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"Actually not Morecambe and Wise, because there's no straight man,"
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"there's no dead wood."
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"I do gags as well."
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"But I mean, good together you know... by now."
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"We sort of read each other's minds when we're doing a bit of stick."
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"We just start cracking up, and people watching they go, "Why is that funny?""
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"We tell them why and they go, "Yeah. You are the best.""
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"It's their opinion."
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"- Happy birthday by the way. - Thank you."
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"The big 3-0. That's the worst one, innit?"
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"I mean when I was 30, like you, I was going, "I'm in a rubbish job. My life's rubbish."
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""Nothing good ever happens to me. When will it change?""
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"But, you know..."
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"- Things do change..so.. - Mmm."
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"And it could be worse. There's a neighbour of mine, Kelvin..."
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"he's 32 and he still lives with his parents."
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"- I live with my parents. - Cherish them. Really."
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"Because you will miss them when they're not around."
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"Both um..."
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"Both of mine are dead."
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"Oh."
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"So er..."
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"Dad isn't dead. He's in a home."
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"So as good as."
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"Shot to bits. He was um... Oh, God."
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"Called out the other night - three a.m. - by the nurses."
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"Does that look into his room?"
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"The back of the roof looks directly into his room, yeah."
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"And I had to go up to the room with him, and go, "Look, Dad, there's no Japanese sniper.""
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"It was his imagination. There was no one there."
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"Lucky. That's lucky."
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"Coz If there was a sniper, you wouldn't see him."
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"Anyway, he is a vegetable now."
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"And that's something we've all got to look forward to. So,"
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"Happy birthday."
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"See you later."
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"- Oh, thanks a lot. Thank you. - Happy birthday, mate."
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"Thanks very much Lee. You're a good man."
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"This is big. Big and exciting."
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"It's a big, exciting, huge inflatable cock. Gawd."
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"- You can sit on that if you like. - Yes."
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"God you haven't got one already have you?"
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"Um, no. You can never have too many anyway."
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"And you do prefer it to the money?"
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"That is..."
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"Stop playing with it! Did you get him that?"
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"Brilliant. Oh, God, look at that."
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"Oh, no, no."
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"Hello, Austin Powers. I'm the naked Mini Me."
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