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Clips from Friends - The One Where Rachel Goes Back to Work (S09E09)

"Sorry."
Friends
"But I kind of have this feeling that we may have made a baby last night."
Friends
"Oh, God, I have to tell you something."
Friends
"You're not pregnant."
Friends
"What are you talking about?"
Friends
"Well, that thing that I have to do to make a baby?"
Friends
"I faked it."
Friends
"What? You faked it?"
Friends
"You know what?"
Friends
"I don't need a tie."
Friends
"I mean, it's... It's better open collar, you know?"
Friends
"Joey. Listen, I can't do this. It doesn't make any sense."
Friends
"Yesterday I was a nurse, and today I'm a waitress at a café?"
Friends
"Oh, sometimes we use the same extras for different parts. It's okay."
Friends
"Well, it's not okay, because I gave a very memorable performance as the nurse."
Friends
"And now, suddenly, I'm the waitress? That's gonna confuse my fans."
Friends
"Um, um..."
Friends
"Well, maybe you are a nurse..."
Friends
"...but you moonlight as a waitress."
Friends
"Uh-huh."
Friends
"Because I'm a single mother supporting my two children."
Friends
"- Nice. Yeah. - Yeah."
Friends
"Okay. Wait a minute."
Friends
"Dr. Drake Ramoray and I work at the same hospital. Wouldn't I come say hi?"
Friends
"No. No, see, uh, you and Drake are having a fight."
Friends
"About what?"
Friends
"And I just wanted a new daddy for Davey and Becky."
Friends
"Okay."
Friends
"Okay. Okay, from the top."
Friends
"And, action."
Friends
"So I'm surprised you agreed to have lunch with me."
Friends
"I'm surprised too. But yet, here I am."
Friends
"Cut! Cut!"
Friends
"What...? What are you doing?"
Friends
"I'm very angry at him because he slept with me and never called me back."
Friends
"- Me too. - Me too!"
Friends
"Wow. You're here already."
Friends
"Yes. Emma and I came in a little early to do research on the presentation."
Friends
"Actually, I made a few changes. I think I'm caught up on everything."
Friends
"So ask me anything."
Friends
"- How do you fix the chair? - Ugh, except that!"
Friends
"Oh, hello, Mr. Zelner. We are all ready for our presentation this afternoon."
Friends
"- Good, because it's in 10 minutes. - What? I can't do that. I have the baby."
Friends
"Ross is not gonna pick her up for an hour."
Friends
"Then Gavin can give the presentation. We have to do it now."
Friends
"Ralph needs to leave early today. He's going helicopter shopping. Heh."
Friends
"You get to do the presentation. You'll knock them dead."
Friends
"No one will remember that I worked here, and then Ralph will buy his helicopter..."
Friends
"...and Super Gavin will just fly right alongside of him."
Friends
"- You can do the presentation. - No, I can't. I have a baby."
Friends
"I'll watch her."
Friends
"Why would you do that?"
Friends
"Because you worked really hard, and it's your job. And you're a little crazy."
Friends
"That's really nice."
Friends
"I should tell you that crying women make me very uncomfortable."
Friends
"Well, you're not gonna like what's coming."
Friends
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."
Friends
"Thank you. Thank you."
Friends
"Um."
Friends
"I'm really fine. Don't worry. I'm great with children."
Friends
"Okay."
Friends
"Gavin Mitchell. Pleased to meet you."
Friends
"Please don't fire my friend. Just let me talk to her."
Friends
"- Okay, but this is her last chance. - Thank you."
Friends
"How about I do something for you?"
Friends
"Tomorrow, uh, I'll bring you a hat, cover up the bald."
Friends
"...and he was thinking maybe this time you don't hit Drake."
Friends
"You just wait on the tables."
Friends
"You're a masseuse. You have a table with a hole in it."
Friends
"Wait, I see what's happening here. You're threatened."
Friends
"I'm so good in the scene that I'm stealing focus from you."
Friends
"Well, rise to the challenge, Tribbiani, because I just raised the bar."
Friends
"- Come join me up here. - Ha-ha-ha."
Friends
"Yeah, you can fire her, but I would call security. She won't go easy."
Friends
"Yes, you can. You just make the faces and the noises."
Friends
"Guys can fake it?"
Friends
"Ugh, unbelievable. The one thing that's ours."
Friends
"Why would you fake it when we're trying to have a baby?"
Friends
"Well, that's actually why."
Friends
"I'm not saying I don't want a baby."
Friends
"- Or a year? - Really? You wanna wait a year?"
Friends
"It could be less than a year. I mean, you've heard my stuff."
Friends
""Pants. Like shorts but longer.""
Friends
"It'll probably be more than a year."
Friends
"Wow. I..."
Friends
"- I really wanna have a baby. - Well, yeah, me too."
Friends
"Look, I'll just get my old job back."
Friends
"No, I want you to have a job that you love..."
Friends
"...not statistical analysis and data reconfiguration."
Friends
"I quit, and you learn what I do?"
Friends
"I think there's never gonna be a right time to have a baby."
Friends
"...you'll find a new job that'll keep you really busy."
Friends
"There's always gonna be a reason not to do this..."
Friends
"...but I think once the baby comes, we'll forget about all those reasons."
Friends
"I guess."
Friends
"It's gonna be really scary."
Friends
"I mean, God, when we have a baby..."
Friends
"I mean, the apartment's gonna be a mess."
Friends
"I won't have time to clean it."
Friends
"What if the baby gets into the ribbon drawer..."
Friends
"...and messes up all the ribbons?"
Friends
"What if there's no room for a ribbon drawer..."
Friends
"...because the baby's stuff takes up all the space?"
Friends
"Should we go make a baby before you change your mind?"
Friends
"Oh, and I promise I will not fake it this time."
Friends
"Well, I wish I could say the same. I'm a little shook up."
Friends
"I know you botched that operation on purpose."
Friends
"I don't care if you are my brother."
Friends
"I'm not your brother."
Friends
"What about my children, Drake? Huh?"
Friends
"No! No! No!"
Friends
"No! No!"
Friends
"God!"
Friends
"I think we might have something for you at the agency."
Friends
"Uh, today."
Friends
"God."
Friends
"I can't prove it yet, but when I do, you'll be going to jail for murder."
Friends
"Okay? So he said, "If your puppy friend doesn't get her puppy act together..."
Friends
"Excuse me?"
Friends
"Cut!"
Friends
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