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Clips from The Simpsons - All About Lisa (S19E19)

"Seriously, test his pee."
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"He's a danger to the community."
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"because it started out that way:"
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"Krusty the Clown."
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"I never thought I'd make it past 400 episodes,"
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"what with the drinking and the smoking"
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"and the fact that I'm just not that good."
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"It seems like just yesterday that we started the show,"
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"Who's our favorite TV clown who likes to clown around?"
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"K-R-U..."
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"Hey! Quit steppin' on my solo, ya creepy little show monkeys!"
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"And here they are today."
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"C.J."
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"Isn't that great. They all came back to see me."
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"That's right. All except the successful ones."
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"Now guess what, kids?"
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"The Krusty Show is searching for a new Krusketeer."
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"As long you're willing to sign"
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"Well, I really hope you get it."
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"Sorry I'm four hours late."
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"Now let's pick a Krusketeer!"
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"For my first impression..."
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"B.E.T."
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"Uh, yeah, okay."
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"I wish I could make each of you a Krusketeer,"
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"but we only have enough money for one."
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"Plus, I don't really want to."
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"So after much consideration of all your talents,"
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"my new Krusketeer is..."
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"What's your kid's name again?"
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"Nelson Muntz."
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"Wilbur Mudd."
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"That's me."
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"I can't believe I lost."
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"That's not fair Bart was great."
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"Hey, Krusty,..."
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"Why don't you hire them both?"
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"It won't cost you anything you could call Bart an intern."
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"In fact, the intern thing could open up"
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"a whole new world of free labor for you."
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"Did you know the Discovery Channel"
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"Hm. Okay, kid, you've convinced me."
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"To make Bart a Krusketeer?"
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"Hell, no. To make you my new intern."
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"You're a real go-getter."
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"which is my code word for scotch."
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"And get me a scotch,"
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"which is my code word for my bookie."
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"Also, go get my dry-cleaning."
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"- Wha... but... - Wha, but, wha, wha, wha, but."
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"What are you standing around for?"
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"Lisa didn't know it then,"
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"but she had just dipped her toe into the business of show."
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"has been home to scoundrels and saints,"
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"And they all had one thing in common..."
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"an underpaid assistant."
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"Cancel my 1:00. Move my 2:00 to 1:00 and cancel that."
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"into "Lindsay Lohans.""
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"So do a global change?"
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"What am I, Al Gore? Just do it."
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"I'm just trying to hit my marks."
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"No, no. I think you're a consummate pro."
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"Oh, so now you're judging me."
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"Well, what do ya think of this:"
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"you're fired."
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"Yeah, well, my mom says you're a selfish lover."
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"Chin up, little gofer."
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"Never meet his gaze."
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"And if he mentions Mitzi Gaynor, and he will,"
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"for God's sake act like you know who she is."
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"Who's got floss?"
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"Mitzi Gaynor?"
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"I was gonna say "cheap Korean animation," but sure."
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"I know everything about that clown."
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"Favorite horse in the 2004 Belmont: Smarty Jones."
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"endorse baby wipes in Norway."
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"Which I have a case of."
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"It's clown trouble."
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"Fine."
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"Lisa's got school, career, posture."
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"Son, the healthy thing is to get rid of"
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"which appears to be everything."
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"Hey, maybe we should give Lisa this room."
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"You know she works for Krusty now."
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"for that copy of "Radioactive Man vs. Muhammad Ali.""
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"My counter offer:"
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"How about "Radioactive Man vs."
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"Restless Leg Syndrome"?"
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"Let us try a different tack."
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"Are you interested in coin collecting?"
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"I will start you off with this bicentennial quarter"
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"and I will throw in my man scrunchie."
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"Everything in its place,"
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"nothin' festering inside of nothin'."
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"You've alphabetized my book collection."
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"I've never had such a great assistant."
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"I'm gonna call you "The Goy Wonder.""
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"Because I don't remember your name."
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"Specific coins?"
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"Son, all hobbies suck."
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"that you've managed to kill some precious time."
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"Wow, I never thought of it like that."
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"Do you want to collect coins with your old man?"
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"Well, what do you think of them apples?"
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"I'll take all of ya."
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"Slide in the 1863 Confederate half dime"
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"This is the first book I've ever finished reading or pushing things into."
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"What the...? We missed one!"
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"when a brief glimpse of a woman's ankle caused three days"
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"Here I am, walking the plank."
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"I wish this mean pirate wasn't poking me with his sword!"
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"- Where's the chimp? - Mr. Teeny's not here."
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"- He's stuck in traffic. - Oh, what do I do?"
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"Oh, boy, oh, boy. Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of fun."
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"- What are you doing, kid? - My job: making you look good."
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"Oh, yeah, right. So, what be your name, matey?"
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"The next week, Krusty went to his Lake Tahoe retreat"
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"But he was about to get an unexpected visit"
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"from a third and fourth R,"
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"Krusty, I've been your agent for 45 years."
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