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Clips from NewsRadio - Meet the Max Louis (S05E05)

"you will not be fired for the next two weeks."
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"I think we'll all be happy with the results."
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"Thank you, Doug."
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"I-I know that you can, I know."
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"Now, I've brought in some, uh--"
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"Some news copy I'd like you to go over"
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"Yes."
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"Yes, technically, that's true, but in news radio--"
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"but I'm kind of a stickler"
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"[♪]"
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"I see things your way. I am going to fire Max."
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"JOE: Don't do it, dude. LISA: Don't fire him, Dave."
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"What did he--? What did he do? What did he say? How did he--?"
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"I know I've been more against this Max character than anyone,"
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"but, you know, I've done a lot of stupid things in my time."
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"of why we are here. Lisa, you know what?"
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"I should point out that I still am eating my lunch."
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"My point is, if he's any good on the air,"
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"That is a good point, but how we'll be able to tell"
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"MAX [ON RADIO]: The tariff increase,"
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"made it inevitable."
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"Nice voice."
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"Clean pipes."
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"Before I go on with the news,"
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"Let me, uh, start off by saying"
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"which is promising."
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"I promise to do the best job I can."
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"honor the memory of my dear friend,"
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"Okay. Um, I mean,"
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"there's probably no good time to, uh-- To bring this up,"
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"hiring a new on-air person."
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"You mean, Bill's replacement? BETH: No, Matthew."
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"No. Dave knows that no one could ever replace Bill."
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"I've been looking at a lot of résumés,"
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"Well, you thought wrong!"
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"All right. You know, maybe we should, uh--"
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"You know, um-- You know, apparently,"
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"due to an unforeseen revenue surplus,"
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"uh, there's money in the budget to purchase"
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"this bright, shiny rubber ball."
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"[GASPS] Huh?"
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"Matthew, did you hear that?"
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"A shiny rubber ball that bounces."
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"Whee!"
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"I know. At least we don't have to worry"
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"Oh, yeah, by the way,"
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"Oh, any reason in particular?"
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"Nothing to worry about. But if I don't work on them by Wednesday,"
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"Today is Wednesday."
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"Oh. Well, in that case, all your computers"
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"are gonna totally freeze up today."
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"The what? The Year 2000 Crisis."
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"It's a global electronic catastrophe caused by computers"
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"That's the one."
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"I thought they called it the Year 2000 Crisis"
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"Yeah. But when I built the computer system here,"
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"so we're gonna catch it a little early."
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"Merry Christmas, everybody."
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"Joe, you said the computers were gonna freeze up."
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"for explode, Dave."
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"Every electronic device in this office is connected together"
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"in one synergistic web."
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"It's as if we're living in the mouth"
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"of an immense supercomputer."
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"back inside the machine. Oh."
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"Do you want me to unplug that for you, Joe?"
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"for the rest of the day?"
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"Us and everybody else in the 212 area code."
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"That was cool."
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"Oh, yes, yes, yes. Oh, and Beth, don't answer the phones."
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"I've narrowed down the candidates"
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"for a new on-air person to, uh, these two,"
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"thought we should make the decision as a group."
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"Uh, well, we got these two here. We've got Jack Callaway,"
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"for two Peabody Awards."
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"And he has a total afro."
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"[BOTH CHUCKLE]"
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"Bow down before my wondrous afro."
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"[WITH HIGH VOICE] Fight the power."
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"uh, Janice Sanburger."
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"[ALL LAUGH]"
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"and, uh, Miss Sanburger-- Hamburger."
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"This guy's name is Skye Maximus. What a dork."
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"Well, this little lady calls herself June Showers."
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"Stupid fool."
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"You know, the people on the reject pile"
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"are there for a reason."
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"Oh, come on. What's the matter with a comparison shopping?"
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"Beth, that's how you spell Max."
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"Yeah, we've all had our fun. Can we please--"
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"Wait a minute. Hold on. Listen to this."
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""1985-86 'Indianapolis Morning Zoo'"
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"Co-anchor: Bill McNeal.""
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"You know, I think this guy played, uh--"
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"Wait a minute. You mean, he was a friend of Bill's?"
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"That's why he's in the reject pile."
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"I don't know. This guy looks like he's just pretending"
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"to be a friend of Bill's."
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"Dave, I really think you should consider this Max Lewis guy."
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"Dave, it's not about qualifications,"
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"Look, there's a whole group of people in there"
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"who miss Bill very much."
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"will help us ease over this rough patch."
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"Yeah, well-- Well, ring, ring, hello?"
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"No."
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"All right, let me tell you."
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"Take that mob of villagers"
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"that chased Frankenstein through the streets."
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"Now, wouldn't it have been smarter"
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"and help the villagers hunt down some other freak?"
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"All right, everybody. Shh."
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"[WITH RASPY VOICE] I really dig your enormous forehead, big boy."
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"Well, back to the matter at hand."
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"Yes, which is hiring Bill's friend, Max. Yeah."
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"Well, Max does have a pretty impressive résumé."
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"He's had 37 jobs in 20 years."
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"Sounds like a drifter."
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"--who has been nominated for, uh, three Peabody awards."
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"Yes, but Max Lewis has actually won a Peabody award."
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"Look, all we know is that he worked with Bill."
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