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Clips from Buffy the Vampire Slayer - Real Me (S05E05)

"Wait. So what you're saying is if I can get an acceptable baby-sitter, I can go patrol?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Baby-sitter? I'm 14! I'm old enough to be a baby-sitter."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I can take care of myself."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- Xander. - Xander?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"OK."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Xander is so much cuter than anyone. And smarter, too."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"He totally skipped college and got a job working construction,"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"which is so kind of deep, you know."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- Have fun. Not too much fun, though. - Dawn."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- Dawn, be good. - We will."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"We're just gonna play with matches, run with scissors,"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"We are gonna have fun, fun, fun!"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Look, I've got Monopoly, Clue and ooh, The Game of Life! That sounds good!"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Poor Dawn."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"She was pretty shaken up."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Well, sure. Bloody death and stuff. She'll be OK."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Not being able to... allowed to, you know, help."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Well, Buffy doesn't really need... and I think Dawn's a little young."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Tara, you're not an outsider."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Well, yeah, I kinda am."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Is somebody making you feel uncomfortable?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- Is it Xander? It's Xander, isn't it? - Xander's a sweetie."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"It's Giles! It's cos he's British and doesn't understand about stuff."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"It's no one. You guys all just have this really tight bond."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"some kind of Scooby initiation."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Maybe we can wear some kind of special ring that identifies us as members."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I don't think so. But maybe something like that would be nice for Dawn."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"She's got big sister Buffy happily looking out for her."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"So then my mom goes off on me about how I'm supposed to watch out for Dawn"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- Like dead shopkeepers. - She didn't see him."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"A foot, maybe. A dead foot, which is bad, OK."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"But hello! I see dead stuff all the time and you don't see Mom shielding me."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"and shield you from it at the same time?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Thank you, Logic Boy. Did I mention, this is a rant? Sense really has no place in it."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I mean domestically tense. You're on Dawn's case a lot."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I don't know... I know it's always been this way. She's the baby."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"But for some reason, lately, it's just really getting to me. She's always around."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I don't think so, unless you like to spill things on your idol's new leather pants and..."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"You know what I mean."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"You have superpowers and college, a studly yet sensitive boyfriend..."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"And a pesky life-or-death job that I can't quit or even take a break from."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"She doesn't get the sacrifices. She's a kid."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Sometimes I would like to curl up in Mom's lap and not worry about the fate of the world."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"..hand and foot, getting her own way. Always the favourite."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"You nut. Your mom loves you both equally."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Slip Joyce a 10 or a 20 once in a while. Then we'll see who's the favourite."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- He says I'm like a kid sister. - Here come the judge!"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"But sometimes when he looks at me, I feel like he sees me as I am."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Crap! Look at this! Now I'm burdened with a husband and several tiny pink children,"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"and more cash than I can reasonably manage."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"That means you're winning."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
""Slayer, come out and die.""
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I know you're in there."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"What do you mean, she's not in there? She has to be. I'm calling her out!"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"You know, lackeys? They work for me."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"What's so funny?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Nothing. What could be funny? Just "Look out! It's the terrifying Harmony gang.""
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Stop laughing!"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Who'd have thought when you beat up kids in gym class, you'd end up Harmony's lapdog?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Screw you, Harris."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"You should know all about being somebody's lapdog."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I hear you were a good puppy for Dracula."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- You heard wrong. - Don't feel bad."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- You didn't stand a chance. - Shut up!"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Dawn, I'm handling this."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- Shut up, Harmony. - Make me."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I don't feel like another hair-pulling contest with you."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"You're the hair-puller, you big girl!"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Dawn, no!"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"instincts."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"This isn't over, Xander! I'll be back!"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"And we'll be ready for ya! Stakes, crosses, the whole enchilada."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Harmony."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Harmony has minions?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"And Ruffles have ridges."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I sure hope so, cos I'm having trouble breathing."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- What is it? - Well, she did come here to kill you."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"You guys can't invite her in. Only someone who lives here can..."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"In her room. Look, I think she's still pretty freaked out."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- Dawn! - It was an accident. She didn't mean it."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Well, that just makes it OK then, doesn't it?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Plus, I didn't even get to kill stupid Xander Harris. That was so embarrassing."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- We'll go back later. - No. It's no good."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- If I don't eat somebody, I'll get dizzy. - Let's go to the lair."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- That census taker may not be empty yet. - Not me."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Step on up, kiddies. Thrashings for all."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Stop!"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Well... Hello, Harm."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Spikey."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I mean, Spike."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Long time. You look good."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- How have you been? - Not bad."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- Why are you talking to him? - It's OK. We used to go steady."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Oh, yeah. What's up with that?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Bloke's gotta have a hobby, don't he? Piss off, Mort."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Mort, just give us a couple of minutes, OK?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"He's really testy. Some of us are thinking of voting him out of the gang."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- Gang? - Oh, yeah."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- We're gonna kill the Slayer. - Singing my song now, are you?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"You just can't stand the fact that I'm my own person now."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"There comes a time in a woman's life when she realises she needs to take the next step."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I've taken it. I've found the real me and I like her."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"You'll see. Buffy'll be dead by sunrise."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Let me guess. Snatch one of her friends, use 'em as bait, lead her into a trap."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I'm not gonna tell you!"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Best of luck. Let me know how this archvillain thing works out for you."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I'll do that. And after Buffy is gone,"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I'm gonna kill everybody in this town that was ever mean to me. Spike!"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"That was before Dawn gave Harmony a pass to kill us all in our sleep."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- All better. - No. Not all better."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"It's not like Dawn hasn't grown up in this house knowing all the rules."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Especially the biggie! Numero one-o."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
""Do not invite bloodsucking dead people into our home.""
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I mean, please. I would never have Harmony over even when she was alive."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"People slip, Buffy. Your mom did."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"He would..."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Dawn knew exactly what Harmony was when she rolled out the welcome mat for her."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- She's just a kid. - Will everybody please stop saying that?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"No. No, it was common sense. But nobody expects even that much from Dawn, do they?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"No. She has to be protected and coddled from the big bad world."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
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