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Clips from 30 Rock - Jack the Writer (S01E01)

"All right, we have a lot to get through today, you guys."
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"on the International Space Station."
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"But I want you to know something. You and me..."
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"You guys want to have a one-minute dance party?"
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"Yeah, shake it. Feel the music."
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"Oh, Mr Donaghy."
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"You will? Why?"
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"- It's Frank, right? - Yes, sir."
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"I'll be in here every day, soaking it up."
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"So, please, return to work and act like I'm not here."
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"and Swastikos."
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"- Froot Lupus. - No."
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"so could we just move on, please?"
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"- You guys want coffee? - Oh, yeah."
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"Who ordered the wieners?"
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"Kyle. Kyle."
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"Oh, come on."
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"I got to talk to her about her clothes. She can't dress like that."
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"You're inappropriate, you jerk, with your big, stupid face!"
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"- Do you have a second? - Sure."
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"if you want to be taken seriously in this business."
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"is making some people around the office uncomfortable."
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"'Cause sometimes you have, like, food stains on your shirt and stuff."
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"Is it my birthday?"
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"All right."
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"but now... Oh, I have an idea for you."
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"between co-workers, so..."
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"- Thank you, Liz. - Oh, sure."
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"I'll just head upstairs now."
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"Oh, no!"
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"I do, Mr Jordan."
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"but I need you to do something of a different nature."
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"Now, I got a mission for you."
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"- He wants you to apologize. - Really?"
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"Do y'all have a bathroom I could use? Y'all have long fingernails."
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"I feel like I'm entering the Death Star. I expect to see storm troopers."
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"You'll be fine... Captain Needa."
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"Stop worrying and just go on back to work."
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"So people do like me?"
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"You know what I like about you?"
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"black... shark's eyes, you know?"
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"Anyway..."
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"That's why I want you to go see my jeweller."
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"Oh, yes, yeah. I love Chamillionaire."
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"Enjoy yourself. You deserve it."
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"- Did we just go in a circle? - Yeah, I was following you."
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"I can make this hot."
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"Oh, I'm not really a fashion person."
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"I'm serious... This colour would be amazing on you, and you're a size 4, right?"
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"Well, aren't you sweet?"
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"- I just threw up in my mouth. - I said it's a joke!"
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"Work your "thang.""
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"You know what? I'll ask Jack. He'll let us eat out there, right?"
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"Seriously, where is Kenneth?"
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"Happy Anniversary, Mrs Jordan."
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"'Cause those wangs from the "Today Show" eat on the roof garden all the time."
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"What group home did you escape from"
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"Oh, really? Your ignorance was obvious when you waddled up to me"
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"Oh, snap."
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"- Well, I don't like you any more. - I don't believe you."
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"Anybody have anything on page one?"
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"I think we need to change this Donald Trump joke..."
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"Anyone listening?"
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"Yeah, OK. Cerie, how about, instead of doing the scripts,"
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"why don't you just organize those videotapes?"
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"Oh, OK."
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"OK, actually, could you go downstairs and get me a chai tea?"
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"OK, where are my shoes?"
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"No, no, just go. Just go barefoot. Just leave your shoes."
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"We got to change this Trump joke."
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"Josh to the set, please, for "Sniper"..."
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"- Mr Jordan? - What's up, Ken?"
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"I got your car washed like you asked,"
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"and I got that "Baby On Board" sign you wanted to help you get tail."
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"Thanks, Ken. You done good."
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"It's my pleasure and my job, sir. Anything you ever need, just ask."
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"it's not gonna be a one-way street."
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"'Cause I don't believe in one-way streets..."
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"not between people and not while I'm driving."
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"Live every week like it's "Shark Week.""
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"That's Stan there. Happy birthday, Stan."
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"All right, we're halfway done. Let's take a little break."
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"Crank it, Toofer."
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"No, please, finish your dance."
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"Oh, we were just taking a little break, and we all love the music of Chamillionaire."
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"I see. If you don't mind, I'll just observe from... over here."
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"Oh, yeah. It's a special kind of G.l. Joe."
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"Frank, Six Sigma is the elite G.E. Executive Training Course."
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"To master just its basic concepts,"
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"one must brave a five-day conference at a Sheraton."
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"Let's get into Toofer's commercial parody."
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"We were trying to think of a funnier cereal name."
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"The favourite options so far include"
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"Honey Bunches of Sadness, Oat Bung,"
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"Fan Nuggets."
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"Sorry. That's really great."
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"OK, let's just think for another minute."
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"Lucky Bastards."
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"If you don't mind, I think we all really laughed at Fan Nuggets,"
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"Every day, huh?"
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"- You guys want coffee? - Oh, yeah."
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"and came across the cartoon strip "Dilbert.""
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"it's quite good. And I was wondering if we could do that."
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"- Do what? -"Dilbert,""
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"- Who should I change it to? - Sean Penn. No, Barbra Streisand."
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"He guns it. Girl falls into the water."
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"You guys want coffee?"
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"So he circled back, looking for her. Remember, it's pitch-black out."
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"and you hear kind of..."
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"And Brokaw says, "Just go. Don't look back.""
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"Now, I'm not a writer, but maybe there's a skit in that."
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"- What's up? - Good morning."
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"So, is Donaghy gonna be in the room again today?"
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"- Probably, yeah. - You have to say something to him."
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"- You guys are not getting any work done. - Really?"
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"You don't think his idea of starting with the catchphrases"
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"and working backwards is panning out?"
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"Nuts to you, McGillicuddy."
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"What do you all not understand? He's our boss."
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"Me trying to tell Jack what to do would be like you trying to boss around..."
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