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Clips from Family Guy - Fast Times at Buddy Cianci Jr. High (S04E04)

"I'm glad you guys could come tonight."
Family Guy
"But if it's raining or I'm hung-over, they stay inside and play dodge ball."
Family Guy
"I love dodge ball! Heads up!"
Family Guy
"The school band offers a wide variety of instruments..."
Family Guy
"Wow!"
Family Guy
"Always nice to meet a fan."
Family Guy
"Ms. Clifton, over here!"
Family Guy
"Ms. Clifton! Ms. Clifton! Ms. Clifton! Ms. Clifton! Ms. Clifton!"
Family Guy
"I'm sorry. Will you all please excuse me for a moment?"
Family Guy
"6, 21, 18, 7, 42."
Family Guy
"Brian, why don't you teach Chris's class?"
Family Guy
"You know, that is a terrific idea, Lois. I probably have a lot to offer young people."
Family Guy
"What's he going to teach them?"
Family Guy
"Please. Call me Brian. Mr. Griffin is my father."
Family Guy
"I thought your father's name was Cocoa, and he was hit by a milk truck!"
Family Guy
"All right. Our goal here is to gain a command of the English language."
Family Guy
"So you can be successful writers like Ben Affleck and Matt Damon."
Family Guy
"for the last six months."
Family Guy
"- That wasn't a line. You just farted. - Is there anymore pot?"
Family Guy
"It sucks! Mr. Griffin gave me an F on my first assignment!"
Family Guy
"- Come on. Where's this bastard live? - I'll show you."
Family Guy
"- Take that! - I got it!"
Family Guy
"- Is that him? - Yeah!"
Family Guy
"Now, who can tell me... Bobby, stop screwing around back there!"
Family Guy
"That's exactly right. Just like the presidency of James Garfield."
Family Guy
"You kids are mighty smart. You must have a powerful good teacher."
Family Guy
"Good morning, this is Principal Sloan."
Family Guy
"Please report to Remedial English."
Family Guy
"I'm not gonna call the hospital because you won't learn anything if I do."
Family Guy
"- Good morning, class. - Good morning, Mrs. Lockhart."
Family Guy
"Hi. I'm Mr. Griffin. But you can call me Brian."
Family Guy
"Mr. Griffin is my father."
Family Guy
"Then you can have the remains."
Family Guy
"Sorry, I'm late, Mrs. Lockhart."
Family Guy
"Being romantic and unexpected."
Family Guy
"Mrs. Lockhart? Your teacher?"
Family Guy
"Gross!"
Family Guy
"Broke a damn blood vessel!"
Family Guy
""Miss Havisham should have throwed that cake out so it don't like..."
Family Guy
""mess all up the bitch's house. ""
Family Guy
"You know what you should do?"
Family Guy
"a whole new approach. Thanks."
Family Guy
"- Come on, knock it off. - Does not compute."
Family Guy
"Sorry. Our son can sometimes be a boob. I mean a melon."
Family Guy
"Don't worry. I know exactly what to say to Chris."
Family Guy
"'Cause I couldn't stand to be away from you for another moment."
Family Guy
"I think I'm falling in love with you."
Family Guy
"This isn't a flip book, Chris. They're instructions."
Family Guy
"Do you have any idea what time it is?"
Family Guy
"Chris, you big beautiful man, I'm so glad you came."
Family Guy
"Okay. But I got to give you the password, or you can't get into the fort."
Family Guy
"It's taco. Taco!"
Family Guy
"It looks like a Jackson Pollock painting. Don't put that in with my things!"
Family Guy
"Jack, there's a hot tub party across the street and we're invited."
Family Guy
"Well, no. You don't want to be a hooker."
Family Guy
""O, Captain! my Captain!""
Family Guy
"- My cousin, Arnie, works over there. - Arnie's your cousin, is he?"
Family Guy
"Yes. You, too. And if you see Arnie, tell him:"
Family Guy
"You know what I hate? A guy in a blue suit."
Family Guy
"You know, Lois, Chris is cool and everything, but since he killed that guy..."
Family Guy
"What? No, I didn't!"
Family Guy
"Peter, the old schoolhouse is on fire! Let's go!"
Family Guy
"Is Joan of Arcadia on?"
Family Guy
"That's right, Diane. It appears Ronald Lockhart..."
Family Guy
"Well, I'll be damned. Chris, I guess we owe you an apology."
Family Guy
"That's okay. I just wonder what happened to Ms. Lockhart and that bear."
Family Guy
"The whereabouts of these suspects are currently unknown."
Family Guy
"I thought we'd try that lobster place we passed in the car."
Family Guy
"Heads up!"
Family Guy
"What? You've done nothing but eat Breyer's and smoke pot..."
Family Guy
"So, how was your first day, Mr. Kotter?"
Family Guy
"In the television comedy world, the people are entertained..."
Family Guy
"by two separate yet equally important types of shows."
Family Guy
"Traditional sitcoms that get laughs out of everyday situations..."
Family Guy
"like trying to fix your own plumbing or inviting two dates to the same dance."
Family Guy
"And animated shows that make jokes about farting. This is the latter."
Family Guy
"Sorry. I just farted."
Family Guy
"Chris, honey, we wouldn't miss your open house."
Family Guy
"You kids are the most important thing in our lives."
Family Guy
"Oh, my God! We forgot Meg."
Family Guy
"Don't worry about Meg. She's got everything she needs in her room."
Family Guy
"Most of the time, the kids'll exercise out in the field."
Family Guy
"And this week in Home Ec, we're teaching your kids..."
Family Guy
"how to make bundt cake."
Family Guy
"I love bundt cake! Heads up!"
Family Guy
"from the kettledrum to the trombone."
Family Guy
"I love the trombone!"
Family Guy
"I know, isn't he wonderful? He took lessons in junior college."
Family Guy
"I like meeting Chris's teachers. This ought to be more interesting than..."
Family Guy
"that time I met Ted Danson."
Family Guy
"Wow! Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen!"
Family Guy
"Oh, shoot! I forgot my umbrella."
Family Guy
"That's okay, honey. Come on over here."
Family Guy
"Thanks, dear."
Family Guy
"Sometimes it's good to be a freak. Do you want to sleep together later?"
Family Guy
"No. Thanks, though."
Family Guy
"Good evening, parents. I'm Ms. Clifton. I'd like for you to fill out these..."
Family Guy
"contact information sheets. Now, who would like to pass them out?"
Family Guy
"Mrs. Griffin."
Family Guy
"Tonight's winning lottery numbers are..."
Family Guy
"Oh, my God! I won!"
Family Guy
"I'm free from all those snot-nosed, little bastards!"
Family Guy
"I'm free!"
Family Guy
"- Is she coming back? - I don't know."
Family Guy
"I can't believe Ms. Clifton's gone. Who's gonna teach my class now?"
Family Guy
"You're very knowledgeable, the kids might knock you down a few pegs..."
Family Guy
"which would be good for you."
Family Guy
"How to lick the Dorito crumbs from between the sofa cushions?"
Family Guy
"Or how to leave a dead bird on the carpet?"
Family Guy
"That was a gift, you bastard."
Family Guy
"That was a gift for the family."
Family Guy
"Good morning, class. I'm your substitute teacher, Brian Griffin."
Family Guy
"Good morning, Mr. Griffin."
Family Guy
"There. Finished. Good Will Hunting by Matt Damon."
Family Guy
"You think we could put both our names on that?"
Family Guy
"Oh, that's... Come on! I helped."
Family Guy
"Oh, yeah? Okay, write a line. Just right now."
Family Guy
"- Just pitch me a line right now. - Okay."
Family Guy
"How about that?"
Family Guy
"Yeah, Chris. What's it like to have Brian as a teacher?"
Family Guy
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