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Clips from The Simpsons - I Love Lisa (S04E04)

"- Sure, I guess. - That valentine sure was funny."
The Simpsons
"[ Chuckles Weakly] Glad you liked it."
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"It says, "Choo-choo-choose me...""
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"and there's a picture of a train."
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"Yeah. Nice gag."
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"Uh, so..."
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"do you like... stuff?"
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"The doctor said I wouldn't have so many nosebleeds..."
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"- if I kept my finger out of there. - [ Chuckles Weakly]"
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"Well, here's my house."
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"## [ Theme ]"
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"[ Sighs ]"
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"[ Cooing ]"
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"Ah. Hmm."
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"[ Yelping, Screaming ]"
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"Hey, kids, don't forget to watch my 29th anniversary show..."
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"featuring clips like this one of Sideshow Mel whacked out on wowee sauce."
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"[ Drunken Voice ] Everyone's always kissing your ass."
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"Well, I'm not afraid to tell you you're a-- [ Bleep ]"
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"- Oh, I'd give anything to go to that show. - I'd sell my firstborn son."
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"Ah, sweet pity. Where would my love life have been without it?"
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"What do you say to a boy to let him know you're not interested?"
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"- Well, honey-- - Let me handle this, Marge."
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"I've heard 'em all. "I like you as a friend." "I think we should see other people.""
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"- "I no speak English." - I get the idea."
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""I'm married to the sea." "I don't wanna kill you, but I will.""
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"but you're just not ready for this kind of thing."
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"- Thanks, Mom. - And if that doesn't work, six simple words:"
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""I'm not gay, but I'll learn.""
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"Ralph, I think you're nice, but I'm just not ready for this kind of thing."
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"- Do you understand? - I guess so."
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"Good."
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"Dad, how do you get a girl to like you?"
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"Son, whether you want to win a girl or crack a nut, the key is persistence."
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"Keep at it and never lose your cool."
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"[ Grunting ]"
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"- Aw, come on, ya stupid-- - [ Gunfire ]"
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"Let that be a lesson to the rest of you... nuts."
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"Okay, Dad. I'll be persistent. Is that how you got Mom?"
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"Well, son, never underestimate the appeal of a man in uniform."
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"Ohh, yeah."
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"[Chomping] Ahh. Mmm. Oh, yeah."
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"- [ Cymbals Crash ] - Hey, boys and girls. Only four days till my anniversary show."
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"And you know where those reviewers are? All dead."
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"How you doin' down there, fellas? Huh? Huh?"
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"why do they call this a urine monkey?"
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"Uh-- Ohh. I just found out."
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"That's funny for so many reasons. We have to go to that show."
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"of Springfield's cultural elite."
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"- Eww. - [Doorbell Rings]"
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"[ Gasps ] Oh, no! It's Ralph!"
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"- She's in the can. Go away. - Yes, sir."
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"- I'd do anything for Lisa. - Really?"
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"Mr. Simpson, the tar fumes are making me dizzy!"
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"Yeah, they'll do that."
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""I have yearned to be on the one-dollar bill, and with your help..."
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""this I shall achieve."
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"Sincerely, George Washington.""
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"- Martha Washington will be played by Lisa Simpson. - [ Giggles ]"
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"George Washington will be played by... [Clears Throat]Ralph Wiggum."
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"- Hmm. - What? This is a travesty!"
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"Everyone knows I'm the best actor in this ridiculous school!"
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"- Sit down, Rex. - I will not sit down."
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"- Someone's gotten to you, you deceitful cow! - That's absurd, Rex."
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"Ralph won the part fair and square."
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"That's the signal. Take the boot off the car, boys."
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"[ Both Chuckling ]"
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"I just know he's gonna embarrass me in front of the whole school."
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"- [Knocking] - Huh?"
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"Ohh, no. It's a package from Ralph."
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"Ohh. A Malibu Stacy convertible!"
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""Look in the tunk.""
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"He must mean "trunk.""
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"I even have the Krusty Home Pregnancy Test."
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"I'm not sure I should go. I don't even like him."
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"You're right, Lise. You shouldn't go. It wouldn't be honest."
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"I'll go, disguised as you."
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"-What if he wants to hold hands? -I'm prepared to make that sacrifice."
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"- What if he wants a kiss? - I'm prepared to make that sacrifice."
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"- What if he-- - You don't wanna know how far I'll go."
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"Sure, it is, honey. You do mean stealing, don't you?"
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"Well, actually, it's not as bad as stealing, But my conscience is bothering me."
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"Your conscience? Lisa, don't let that pushy little weenie tell you what to do."
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"Homer, that's a terrible thing to say."
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"- Oh, shut up. - Yes, sir."
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"I am so glad you cho-cho-chose to come."
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"- Chief Wiggum, how'd you ever get these tickets? - Krusty knows how to play ball."
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"Ahh. Nothin' beats a good porno movie."
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"- Chief Wiggum, is this a bust? - Uh, yeah..."
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"that's just what it is-- a bust."
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"- [Drumroll] - [Announcer]It's the Krusty the Clown..."
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"- Hey! - ####[Fanfare]"
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"Thank you. Thank you. Hey, Mr. President!"
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"I campaigned for the other guy, but I voted for you!"
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"[ Guffaws ]"
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"- Ha-ha! - [ Buzzes ]"
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""He will not see me stopping here..."
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"to watch his woods fill up with snow.""
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"Hey, Frosty, you want some snow, man?"
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"- ## [ Rock Beat ] - ## [ Singing ]"
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"- What was I on? - Lisa, do you want a bite of my ice cream?"
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"- No, thanks. - Send it this way, boy."
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"- Whoops. - Ohh."
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"Aww. Nothing gets chocolate out. See?"
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"I've worked with some marvelous second bananas over the years..."
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"but none more memorable than Sideshow Raheem."
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"- I wouldn't. - Right on."
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"Angry. Angry young man."
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"Whuzzat say? "Talk to the audience"?"
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"Oh, God. This is always death."
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"- All right. - Oh, no. Please don't show me with Ralph."
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"- What's your name, son? - Ralph."
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"- [ Whimpers ] - And is this your girlfriend, Ralph?"
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"Yes. I love Lisa Simpson, and when I grow up, I'm going to marry her!"
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"No-o-o-o!"
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"And the only reason I gaveyou that stupid valentine is 'cause nobody else would!"
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"Watch this, Lise. You can actually pinpoint the second when his heart rips in half."
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"- [V. C.R. Clicking] - [ Whimpering ] - And... now."
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"Ohh."
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"[ Ducks Quacking ]"
The Simpsons
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