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Clips from The Simpsons - I Love Lisa (S04E04)

"- [Quacking] - [ Sighs Sadly]"
The Simpsons
"You got a great little girl, and the world's your oyster."
The Simpsons
"No, Dad. She made a fool out of me."
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"Now, where did I put my badge? Hey, that duck's got it!"
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"- [ Quacking ] - Oh, come on. Come on. Give it back. I need it."
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"- [ Duck Squawks, Wings Flutter] - Aww, keep it."
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"[Siren Wailing]"
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"- Something wrong, Officer? - Yep. Gota tail light out."
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"- Where? - Right there."
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"You know, one day, honest citizens are gonna stand up to you crooked cops."
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"They are? Oh, no! Have they set a date?"
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"This orange drink is the only way..."
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"I just don't know what went wrong."
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"You opened the show with a fire drill, and everyone cleared out."
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"Mm. So Mother was right. It was my fault."
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"Go ahead. Water it down some more."
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"My God, man. I've watered her down as far as she'll go."
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"I cannot water no more."
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"- [ Gulping ] - Good evening, everyone, and welcome..."
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"to a wonderful evening of theater and picking up after yourselves."
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"- [ Person Coughs ] - We begin with a tribute to our lesser-known presidents."
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"- [Drumroll] - ####[Presidential Fanfare]"
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"## [ All Singing ]"
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"I died in 30 days!"
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"## [ Vaudeville-style Finale ]"
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"Hey, girls. Check out this president."
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"I am not a butt!"
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"[ All Screaming ]"
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"Bart, do you wanna play John Wilkes Booth or do you wanna act like a maniac?"
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"I'll be good."
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"Ralph, I'm sorry I--"
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"Leave me alone. I'm here to play George Washington."
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"Miss Hoover, this beard's giving me a rash."
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"Milhouse, you have one line, and then you're shot."
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"- Now, get out there. - [ Gulps ]"
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"I thought that civil war would never end."
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"Now, to soothe my head with an evening at Ford's Theatre."
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"Oh, no! john Wilkes Booth!"
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"- Hasta la vista, Abie. - [ Milhouse Grunts ]"
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"- [ Both Grunting ] - Come on, boy! Finish him off!."
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"- [ All Screaming ] - You're next, Chester A. Arthur!"
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"- [ Balls Popping ] - Unhand me, Yankee."
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"- And now, our evening comes to an end-- - Whoo-hoo!"
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"with a thorough retelling of the life of George Washington."
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"Dear, dear George Washington, can this liberty you dream of..."
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"be worth all this bloodshed?"
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"Well, can it?"
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"Dear madam, would you put a price..."
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"on the air we breathe or the providence that sustains us?"
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"- But couldn't we just give in to the British? - Never!"
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"He makes me wanna learn more about our founding fathers."
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"- To the library! - Yeah!"
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"Dear Martha, I fear my time is at hand."
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"[ Sobbing ] Oh, George."
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"Your broth, Mr. President."
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"I asked for no broth. Away with you, lest my cane find your backside!"
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"[ Sobbing ] Please don't leave me, George."
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"Dear wife, if I could take but one treasure with me to the next life..."
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"it would be your tender kiss."
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"[ Whimpering ] I didna cry when me own father was hung for stealin' a pig..."
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"but I'll cry now. [ Sobbing ]"
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"[Hydraulics Whirring]"
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"####[Patriotic Song]"
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"Thanks for coming, and don't forget to purchase some orange drink..."
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"for the long ride home."
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"Ralph!"
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"- You were great tonight. - Ah, thanks."
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"- I've got something for you. - "Let's be friends.""
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"Ohh, look at that."
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"[ Dispatcher] Attention, all units. Riot in progress at--"
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"- Not tonight. - [Radio Announcer] Hey, hey! Bill and Marty here..."
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"wrapping up a beautiful Presidents' Day."
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"[ Marty] To George and Abe and all the rest, here's a special song just for you."
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"- [ Marty] Doggone it! - ####[Singing Continues]"
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"- [ People Chattering ] - Shh!"
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"[Bell Ringing]"
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"- Isn't that just pointless busywork? - Bull's-eye. Get cracking."
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"- [Gunfire] - [ Screaming ]"
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"Huh? [ Screams ]"
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"[ Drumroll ]"
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"- I keep my pants on in this version. - Eww."
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"- 29th Anniversary Show! - [Applause]"
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"Now, for my favorite part of the show."
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"Hey, come to think of it, she did."
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"- [Homer]D'oh! - [ Audience Applauds ]"
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"Mm. Yes."
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"Ralph! Ralph! You were so good."
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"- I ate it. - [ Kids Laughing ]"
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"[Laughing]"
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"It says "bee," and there's a picture of a bee on it!"
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"- [ Marty] Doggone it! - ####[Singing Continues]"
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"D'oh! [ Screams ]"
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"[ Yelps ] Ahh."
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"[Chomping] Ahh. Mmm. Oh, yeah."
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"[ Neon Buzzing ]"
The Simpsons
"Now, here's a clip from 1 973."
The Simpsons
"You know, I started this show so long ago, the ayatollah only had a goatee."
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"At least you guys are my friends."
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"## [ All Continue Singing ]"
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"## [ Radio: '60s Pop Song ]"
The Simpsons