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Clips from Family Guy - Mom's the Word (S12E12)

"Well, I don't know. That's why I'm asking you."
Family Guy
"I-I just, I just really want to know what happens."
Family Guy
"Do you think that's part of God's infinite plan?"
Family Guy
"I think your whole religion is a sham, just so you can get"
Family Guy
"extra holidays off from work."
Family Guy
"Oop, gotta go. It's Buchwuch."
Family Guy
"I say, this is quite impressive."
Family Guy
"Buddhism is an Asian religion that also has"
Family Guy
"a significant following of annoying white people."
Family Guy
"Okay. See, these guys believe that after you die,"
Family Guy
"you're reincarnated and you come back"
Family Guy
"as a pig or a cow or a rooster."
Family Guy
"Okay, okay, that's good."
Family Guy
"I already know what noises to make if I'm one of those."
Family Guy
"But they also don't believe in demonstrating emotions"
Family Guy
"to buy birthday gifts for."
Family Guy
"so I bought you a new Lexus."
Family Guy
"And I got you this tie clip."
Family Guy
"Screw you! You don't even own a tie!"
Family Guy
"Now, the Catholics believe that as long as you accept Jesus"
Family Guy
"before you die, anyone can get into Heaven."
Family Guy
"Really? Anyone?"
Family Guy
"Yes!"
Family Guy
"Peter, thank you so much for your help in making this cake,"
Family Guy
"but don't you think it would be easier"
Family Guy
"if you stood on the floor?"
Family Guy
"Another memory is my Uncle Roy putting his thumb in me."
Family Guy
"Ah, the best memories are family memories."
Family Guy
"What newspaper do cows read?"
Family Guy
"The Moo York Times."
Family Guy
"That's very clever, Peter. Did you make that up?"
Family Guy
"Still, very impressive."
Family Guy
"God, you know, Evelyn,"
Family Guy
"you've really helped me through a tough time."
Family Guy
"I haven't been this grateful"
Family Guy
"since I met the Sane Hatter."
Family Guy
"Excuse me. How do I get back through the looking glass?"
Family Guy
"Oh, yeah, take two lefts"
Family Guy
"and it's the first door on your right."
Family Guy
"Cool. Great."
Family Guy
"Thanks for not giving me the runaround."
Family Guy
"I-I asked that guy over there,"
Family Guy
"but he just told me a bunch of rhyming nonsense."
Family Guy
"Oh, yeah-- he's, like, a well-known dick."
Family Guy
"What are you still doing awake?"
Family Guy
"They've been going at it all night."
Family Guy
"Dad, can I have five dollars for lunch tomorrow?"
Family Guy
"Yeah, sure, just let me just go check"
Family Guy
"my room full of gold and jewels."
Family Guy
"You see, every first thing he says is not the real thing."
Family Guy
"Anyway, Brian, I'm trying to figure out death!"
Family Guy
"It's not that complicated, Stewie."
Family Guy
"Well, which of these religions has the right answer?"
Family Guy
"What-What about you, Brian?"
Family Guy
"What do you believe happens when you die?"
Family Guy
"That's not comforting at all!"
Family Guy
"Well, I just think it's pretty clear"
Family Guy
"that we're all just bags of bones and flesh"
Family Guy
"that eventually break down and decay into worm food."
Family Guy
"We come from nothing, and we're gonna become nothing."
Family Guy
"The end. Night, Stewie."
Family Guy
"Lights out."
Family Guy
"Did you hear him, Rupert?"
Family Guy
"Life is just a big joke."
Family Guy
"Well, I can't live like that."
Family Guy
"I'm going to take my own life."
Family Guy
"But first, I'm gonna play ball in the house."
Family Guy
"Parents are right!"
Family Guy
"We now return to S.T., the Special Terrestrial."
Family Guy
"Hi!"
Family Guy
"I've been peeing on I told you about."
Family Guy
"Hey, nice to meet you."
Family Guy
"You know, instead of drawing on your eyebrows,"
Family Guy
"And I'm Joe Swanson."
Family Guy
"I've been dying to introduce you guys to Evelyn."
Family Guy
"Evelyn, tell them how many sodas"
Family Guy
"I combined at the movie theater."
Family Guy
"Two. It was more than that. She fell asleep."
Family Guy
"She let me drive a little bit on the way home."
Family Guy
"Just in the parking lot."
Family Guy
"But you were a good little navigator."
Family Guy
"Yeah, I just remembered, I gotta get the hell out of here."
Family Guy
"Well, God said I could walk just one time."
Family Guy
"I was saving it for Susie's wedding day, but..."
Family Guy
"Ah, they a'ight."
Family Guy
"You're like my aboveground mom."
Family Guy
"I think your mother brought us together."
Family Guy
"Yeah, tha-that's how I feel."
Family Guy
"Good."
Family Guy
"Come on. Are you molesting me or watching TV?"
Family Guy
"I can't believe that old woman kissed you!"
Family Guy
"Oh, it was horrible, Lois."
Family Guy
"There were still crumbs in the corners of her mouth"
Family Guy
"from that Nilla Wafer she had at lunch."
Family Guy
"Are you sure there wasn't some kind of misunderstanding?"
Family Guy
"And it really bums me out, you know,"
Family Guy
"'cause I thought she was something special."
Family Guy
"She was like a mom to me."
Family Guy
"and try to clear this up."
Family Guy
"It sounds weird, but maybe it was innocent."
Family Guy
"I mean, this wouldn't be the first time"
Family Guy
"Would you like to add chips and a drink?"
Family Guy
"Here we go again."
Family Guy
"Well, I'm not dead, but I do have a boner."
Family Guy
"Hey, copper, come get me!"
Family Guy
"Oh, no, an armed assailant!"
Family Guy
"I definitely don't want to die today."
Family Guy
"I have so much to live for."
Family Guy
"Come on! Shoot me!"
Family Guy
"What are you waiting for? I'm wide open!"
Family Guy
"Just kiss, you fruitcakes!"
Family Guy
"All right, Rupert, the old toaster in the tub never fails."
Family Guy
"I don't know about this Toaster Man."
Family Guy
"While he's getting all the glory, John Q. Taxpayer is left"
Family Guy
"to clean up the crumbs."
Family Guy
"My breakfast bread just got perfectly browned!"
Family Guy
"I just wish I could thank him!"
Family Guy
"Oh, I think he knows, Pop."
Family Guy
"I think he knows."
Family Guy
"Evelyn, we need to talk."
Family Guy
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