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Clips from The Good Place - ...Someone Like Me as a Member (S01E01)

"♪ I see them bloom ♪"
The Good Place
"Hey, ding-dongs. We figured out what's happened here."
The Good Place
"The "real" Eleanor was attending a conference"
The Good Place
"on the death penalty, and you stopped by to pick up"
The Good Place
"food for a local homeless shelter."
The Good Place
"Incredibly, you both died in the same 10,000th of a second,"
The Good Place
"- Eh-- - So, trash bag, let's go."
The Good Place
"Look, I'm not even sure how it would work for you to stay here"
The Good Place
"Yeah, no thanks, mop-top."
The Good Place
"don't wanna sign your yearbook in, like, gel pen,"
The Good Place
"I get your whole "mean girl" thing,"
The Good Place
"because they're all equally lame."
The Good Place
"Everybody cool? Great."
The Good Place
"If I'm going to save Fake Eleanor,"
The Good Place
"and they outnumber me."
The Good Place
"Bad Janet, uh, where is the nearest café?"
The Good Place
"I never have to deal with negative emotion of any sort."
The Good Place
"All right, Michael, we're going to ply them with delicious food and drink,"
The Good Place
"This sucks, dude."
The Good Place
"Oh, gimme some jalapeño poppers."
The Good Place
"Well, that looks delicious. What is that?"
The Good Place
"- Splitsies? - Yeah!"
The Good Place
"Made my way to America, yadda, yadda, yadda."
The Good Place
"And for you to have gone through all that, and to end up where you did, it is just..."
The Good Place
"Oh, man, these horn-dogs are vibing like mofos."
The Good Place
"People keep asking me questions that I don't know the answers to."
The Good Place
"That was my whole life on Earth."
The Good Place
"All that matters is what's in your heart."
The Good Place
"Thanks, Jianyu. I mean, it does matter if I know things,"
The Good Place
"but can I ask you a question?"
The Good Place
"and it was the beginning of a lifelong friendship."
The Good Place
"making a deal for Fake Eleanor."
The Good Place
"Oh, my God!"
The Good Place
"and in-depth classes. He taught me about Plato"
The Good Place
"What is there left to say?"
The Good Place
"Cool, okay, well, I'll get tickets"
The Good Place
"Sorry... you're snorting the concept of time?"
The Good Place
"Yeah, it'll fork you up."
The Good Place
"I mean, you didn't want to get caught. I get it."
The Good Place
"All right!"
The Good Place
"Oh, Tahani, I'm so sorry."
The Good Place
"I know what I have to do."
The Good Place
"Offer them everything they want, give in to all of their demands,"
The Good Place
"How am I hung over? I thought there were no hangovers here."
The Good Place
"and we want to bring you aboard permanently."
The Good Place
"You love working here and talking about working here,"
The Good Place
"We hang out after work because we're friends."
The Good Place
"It'll be a pleasure not hanging out with you."
The Good Place
"Look, if you don't come with us,"
The Good Place
"Get him, Michael!"
The Good Place
"Get the fork out of my neighborhood."
The Good Place
"You're on borrowed time, Fake Eleanor."
The Good Place
"Hello, Jianyu."
The Good Place
"♪ I see trees of green Red roses too ♪"
The Good Place
"You two are both named Eleanor Shellstrop."
The Good Place
"The day you died, you were both in Phoenix, Arizona,"
The Good Place
"shopping at the same grocery store."
The Good Place
"And Fake Eleanor was there buying margarita mix"
The Good Place
"and a magazine called, "Celebrity Baby Plastic Surgery Disasters.""
The Good Place
"in the same traffic accident, because Real Eleanor"
The Good Place
"was trying to save Fake Eleanor's life"
The Good Place
"by pushing you out of the way of the truck."
The Good Place
"I guess you really botched that one, eh?"
The Good Place
"I did, and I am so, so sorry."
The Good Place
"It's all good."
The Good Place
"So, how did you not realize you had the wrong Eleanor?"
The Good Place
"Oh, we don't know what people look like,"
The Good Place
"only names and profiles. On Earth, they're just dots on a map."
The Good Place
"Whatever, we got our wires crossed,"
The Good Place
"we picked up the wrong dot, blah, blah, blah, blah,"
The Good Place
"blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah."
The Good Place
"Point is, there are two Eleanors."
The Good Place
"The nice, boring one is yours. The trash bag is ours."
The Good Place
"Let's hit it. And, also..."
The Good Place
"I'm still waiting on that smile, gorgeous."
The Good Place
"- Trevor. - Where's that smile?"
The Good Place
"Trevor, how about we negotiate? Give you something else?"
The Good Place
"What in the world could you have that we would want?"
The Good Place
"All right, how about a unicorn?"
The Good Place
"Right? I bet you don't have one of those."
The Good Place
"No, that is true, yeah."
The Good Place
"Might be fun"
The Good Place
"to skin it alive, eat its raw flesh,"
The Good Place
"maybe break off the horn, grind it up, snort it."
The Good Place
"Okay, let's keep talking. Yeah."
The Good Place
"Fake Eleanor, a word?"
The Good Place
"It's just me, man. You can just say, "Eleanor.""
The Good Place
"Sorry, it just makes things easier."
The Good Place
"now that we know there's a "real" Eleanor,"
The Good Place
"but in the meantime, stay on your toes."
The Good Place
"Don't let Trevor get inside your head."
The Good Place
"Can I ask you something?"
The Good Place
"Why are you helping me?"
The Good Place
"Well, Chidi made a very good argument on your behalf,"
The Good Place
"but it's more than that."
The Good Place
"I truly believe that The Good Place is where you belong."
The Good Place
"You're part of our team."
The Good Place
"Hi! Oh, you must be the new student Eleanor Shellstrop."
The Good Place
"I'm Gloria, the senior class secretary."
The Good Place
"Cool."
The Good Place
"Well, welcome to Adobe High, home of the Scorpi-otes!"
The Good Place
"half wanted to be the Coyotes, so we compromised."
The Good Place
"Why don't I give you a tour after lunch?"
The Good Place
"Uh, sorry?"
The Good Place
"Don't need your help,"
The Good Place
"don't wanna bedazzle our college essays, or whatever."
The Good Place
"I'm here for like six months, and I'm gonna fly solo."
The Good Place
"She, like, loves this school so much."
The Good Place
"Why don't you come sit with us? We'll teach you which guys are cute"
The Good Place
"and which teachers are secretly pervs--"
The Good Place
"Yeah, that's a hard pass as well."
The Good Place
"I don't wanna get chunky highlights,"
The Good Place
"make fun of nerds, and steal your mom's flavored vodka."
The Good Place
"and I'm all set with it, thanks."
The Good Place
"In fact..."
The Good Place
"Listen up, everyone."
The Good Place
"I'm Eleanor, I'm new here, and as a blanket statement for everyone,"
The Good Place
"I don't wanna be a part of whatever little group you've formed"
The Good Place
"Hey, that was really cool, the way you told all those posers--"
The Good Place
"Michael, welcome. How can I help you?"
The Good Place
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