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Clips from The Big Bang Theory - The Big Bran Hypothesis (S01E01)

"Archimedes would be so proud."
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"Do you have any ideas?"
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"Yes, but they all involve a Green Lantern and a power ring."
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"Easy. Easy."
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"Force required to lift is reduced by the sine of the angle of the stairs..."
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"...call it 30 degrees, so about half."
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"Exactly half."
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"Let's push."
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"Okay."
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"See, it's moving. This is easy."
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"It's all in the math."
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"- What's your formula for the corner? - What?"
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"Oh, okay."
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"Okay, yeah, no problem. Just come up here, help me pull and turn."
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"Oh, gravity, thou art a heatless bitch."
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"You do understand that our efforts here..."
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"...will in no way increase the odds of you having sexual congress with this woman?"
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"Men do things for women without expecting sex."
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"yeah, those would be men who just had sex."
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"Almost there."
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"Almost there."
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"- Almost there. - No, we're not."
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"- Watch your fingers. - Yeah."
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"Oh, God, my fingers!"
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"So Penny is a little messy."
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"The Mandelbrot set of complex numbers is a little messy."
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"Excuse me."
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"...where a tray of flatware on a couch is valid?"
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"I'm just inferring that this as a couch..."
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"...because the evidence suggests the coffee table's having a tiny garage sale."
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"Did it occur to you that not everyone has the compulsive need to sort..."
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"...organize and label the entire world around them?"
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"Well, they don't."
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"Hard as it may be to believe..."
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"...most people don't sort their breakfast cereal numerically by fiber content."
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"Excuse me, but I think we've both found that helpful at times."
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"- What are you doing? - I'm straightening up."
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"Sheldon, this is not your home."
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"This is not anyone's home. This is a swirling vortex of entropy."
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"When the transvestite lived here, you didn't care how he kept the place."
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"Because it was immaculate."
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"I mean, you open that man's closet..."
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"...it was left to right, evening gowns, cocktail dresses and his police uniforms."
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"- What were you doing in his closet? - I helped him run some cable for a webcam."
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"- Hey, guys. - Oh, hey, Penny."
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"This just arrived. Brought this up. Just now."
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"Great. Was it hard getting up the stairs?"
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"- No. - No?"
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"- No. - No."
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"- We'll get out of your hair. - Okay, great."
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"I just want you to know that you don't have to live like this."
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"I'm here for you."
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"What's he talking about?"
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"- It's a joke. - I don't get it."
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"yeah, he didn't tell it right."
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"Sheldon?"
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"Sheldon?"
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"Hello?"
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"Penny's sleeping."
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"You can't break into a woman's apartment in the middle of the night and clean."
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"I had no choice."
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"I couldn't sleep knowing that just outside my bedroom was our living room..."
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"...and outside our living room was that hallway..."
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"...and immediately adjacent to that hallway was this."
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"Do you realize that if Penny wakes up..."
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"...there is no reasonable explanation as to why we're here?"
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"I just gave you a reasonable explanation."
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"No, no. you gave me an explanation."
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"It's reasonableness will be determined by a jury of your peers."
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"Sheldon, we have to get out of here."
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"you might want to speak in a lower register."
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"What?"
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"Evolution has made women sensitive to high-pitch noises while they sleep..."
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"...so that they'll be roused by a crying baby."
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"If you want to avoid waking her, speak in a lower register."
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"That's ridiculous!"
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"No, that's ridiculous."
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"Fine."
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"I accept your premise. Now, please let's go."
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"- I'm not leaving until I'm done. - Oh, no."
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"Oh, what the hell."
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"Good morning."
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"Morning."
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"I have to say I slept splendidly."
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"Granted not long, but just deeply and well."
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"I'm not surprised."
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"A well-known folk cure for insomnia..."
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"...is to break into your neighbor's apartment and clean."
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"you think?"
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"Granted, my methods may have been somewhat unorthodox..."
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"...but the end result will be a measurable enhancement..."
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"...to Penny's quality of life."
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"You've convinced me, maybe we should sneak in and shampoo her carpet."
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"- you don't think that crosses a line? - yes."
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"For God's sake, Sheldon..."
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"...do I have to hold up a sarcasm sign every time I open my mouth?"
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"you have a sarcasm sign?"
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"No, I do not have a sarcasm sign."
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"you want some cereal?"
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"I feel so good today, I'm gonna choose from the low-fiber end of the shelf."
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"Hello, Honey Puffs."
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"Son of a bitch!"
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"you sick, geeky bastards!"
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"How did she know it was us?"
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"I may have left a suggested organizational schematic..."
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"...for her bedroom closet."
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"Leonard?"
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"This is gonna be bad."
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"Goodbye, Honey Puffs. Hello, Big Bran."
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"you came into my apartment while I was sleeping?"
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"yes, but only to clean."
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"Really more to organize, you're not actually dirty, per se."
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"Give me back my key."
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"I'm very, very sorry."
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"Do you understand how creepy this is?"
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"yes, we discussed it at length last night."
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"In my apartment? While I was sleeping?"
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"And snoring. And that's probably just a sinus infection."
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"But it could be sleep apnea. You might wanna see an otorhinolaryngologist."
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"The throat doctor."
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