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Clips from Parks and Recreation (2009) - Soda Tax (S05E05)

"and the news is terrible."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"They found"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Chris, that means everything's okay."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Why weren't you at practice this morning?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I finally hit my minimum requirement."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Minimum champion!"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I'm going to die one day, probably,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"without ever having left my mark"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"on this silly, little planet."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I'm gonna die an anonymous, meaningless speck of dust."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Wow."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"It sounds like you're really going through"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"some tough stuff right now."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"It's too bad there's not doctors for your mind."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"All right, well, hey,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I'm gonna go run some more laps."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Will you time me? Go."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"You were freaking out"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Every time something tiny goes wrong,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"you spiral like crazy."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Maybe you should see a therapist."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"You are as "in line" as a person can be."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"What was my time?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- I don't know. 43. - Yes! New record."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"But before I can do that,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I don't understand. Why did you try to get me fired?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"The first year you worked here, you drove me nuts."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"and you'd ignore me"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"or go over my head and do it anyway."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"You were insubordinate, stubborn,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"a pain in my ass, and, worst of all, bubbly."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I was a dedicated public servant."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Right. That was the worst thing you were."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"The point is, I ended up"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"withdrawing all four requests to have you fired,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"because, ultimately,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I'd rather work with a person of conviction"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Well, I had conviction because I knew what I believed in,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"but I know with this new job."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I-I just feel like I've lost my bearings."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"You may have wandered into unknown terrain,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"You know what?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I won't forget and I will never forgive you."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Here's that report you wanted, boss."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"It's funny because it has 30 different fonts on it,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"and you only like one."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Do you like it? Yeah, it's hilarious."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Okay, I'm sorry I drew those pictures of you."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I was just messing around."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Look, you may not take this seriously,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"but this job is important to me."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"because I asked you to come work here"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"and I think you're smart,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"but you have to have some semblance of professionalism,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"and I need you to give, like, even a 15% effort."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- 12%. - 15."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"For God's sake, I'm asking for 15% effort."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"City councilwoman Knope, how do you vote?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Aye. Strongly in favor."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"The soda tax measure passes, 3-2."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"because I voted my conscience."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"And by the way, she's totally bluffing"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"about laying people off, you watch."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Anyway, I may have made some enemies today,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"but that is part of the job."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"And who knows, maybe in the future,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Let's keep it down out there."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Yeah, I love cupcakes."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Ellis hates you, and he has herpes."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Ben told you to finish the website,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"and if you don't do it, I swear to God,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I'm gonna get a melon baller"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"and scoop your eyes out and eat them,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"and your congressman uncle is gonna have to buy you a dog"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Do you understand me?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Yes."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
""Love, Leslie.""
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"our three-legged dog champion.""
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Ah! That's horrifying."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"that the average Pawnee 10-year-old consumes,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"In honor of your never-ending quest"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"to personally babysit"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Ugh! Number two is right."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"There's a crazy amount"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"that I'm supposed to be able to do"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I mean, that's humanly impossible."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Some girls buy them for their dollhouses,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"you get 64 ounces."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Come on, Andy, come on. You can do it."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- Aah! - Yes!"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"but because of what I'm going to be able to get you to do."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Thanks, man. Me too."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Honestly, you could loosen up a bit"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"She's all I care about in the whole world."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I'm gonna go run till I puke. Let's go."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"All right."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"All right, listen up, pizza lovers."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Well, you don't know my name or what I look like,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"like racism and women's vaginae."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"We're not taxing anyone's genitals."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Okay, "the soda tax is bad and unfair to consumers.""
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Let's recall Leslie Knope."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Let's do this!"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Whoa! You got it, Howie!"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Playaz, at your marks."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Get set. Get at me!"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- What? - My legs aren't working."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Everything's upside-down, you know?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I mean, when I used to just work here,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- Uh... - Oh, wow, look at that."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Did you draw that?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- Uh, no, I didn't. - No, no, no, no, no."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"and I have to cast a vote,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Nothing?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- Nothing. The silent killer. - Oh, my God."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"because you were thinking about Andy"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"and his family and how you don't have one."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"And by the way, you should take it seriously,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"because I thought you'd enjoy it"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I'm gonna murder you in your sleep."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
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