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Clips from The Big Bang Theory - The Tangerine Factor (S01E01)

"You see, people hear the word "year" and they think duration."
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"Foot-pound has the same problem. That's a unit of work, not of weight."
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"Right. Thanks."
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"- It's a common mistake. - Not the first one I've made today."
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"Okay."
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"Do you have anything to say that has anything to do..."
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"...with, you know, what I'm talking about?"
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"Well, let's see."
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"Sheldon."
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"Sorry, you diverted me."
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"...the Copenhagen interpretation of quantum physics, he proposed an experiment."
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"A cat is placed in a box with a sealed vial of poison..."
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"...that will break open at a random time."
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"Now, since no one knows when or if the poison has been released..."
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"...until the box is opened, the cat can be thought of as both alive and dead."
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"I'm sorry, I don't get the point."
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"You have to be psychic, there's no such thing--"
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"Sheldon, what's the point?"
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"...right now can be thought of as both good and bad."
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"Okay, so you're saying I should go out with Leonard?"
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"Two seats right there."
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"Sheldon, I think I've made a mistake."
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"I can see that. Unless you're running a marathon..."
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"...choosing both stuffing and mashed potatoes is a starch-filled redundancy."
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"No, it's about Penny."
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"A mistake involving Penny."
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"Okay, you'll have to narrow it down."
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"I don't think I can go out with her tonight."
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"Then don't."
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"Other people might be interested."
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"- I'm gonna talk anyway. - I assumed you would."
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"Now that I'm actually about to go out with Penny, I'm not excited, I'm nauseous."
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"Then your meal choice is appropriate."
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"Starch absorbs fluid..."
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"...which reduces the amount of vomit available for violent expulsion."
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"You said "nauseous" when you meant "nauseated.""
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"But go on."
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"Sheldon, this date is probably my one chance with Penny."
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"What happens if I blow it?"
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"Well, if we accept your premise and also accept the highly improbable assumption..."
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"...that Penny is the only woman in the world for you..."
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"...we can logically conclude that the result of blowing it..."
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"...would be that you end up a lonely, bitter old man with no progeny."
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"The image of any number of evil lighthouse keepers..."
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"...from Scooby-Doo cartoons comes to mind."
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"You're not helping."
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"All right, what response on my part..."
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"...would bring this conversation to a conclusion?"
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"Tell me whether or not to go through with the date."
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"Wow, that's brilliant."
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"You sound surprised."
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"Mmm."
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"- Come on in. - Thank you."
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"You look very nice."
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"Thank you. So do you."
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"I made an 8:00 reservation."
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"Okay, yeah, great. Listen...."
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"Maybe we should talk first."
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"Oh."
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"Okay."
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"Good."
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"All right, the cat's alive. Let's go to dinner."
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"No, it's:"
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"I obviously didn't make my point with those people."
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"I'm sorry."
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"But when he came back to the apartment, he was doing a dance..."
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"...don't order tangerine chicken."
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"Out of curiosity..."
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"Ah, okay."
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"I think this will be my seat."
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