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Clips from The Cleveland Show - Brown History Month (S01E01)

"Through good times and bad times It's true love we share"
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"I float like a butterfly, sting like a bee."
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"In the spirit of President Obama..."
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"Well, who were all the black people voting for back then?"
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"I want you to rise up and find the nearest white-owned home or business and burn..."
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"...our people have been subjected to?"
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"- Are you kidding me? - What? I like it on my buttery pancakes."
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"- What? - Ooh! I could go for some pancakes."
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"Ha-ha-ha. That's impossible."
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"You work for a white guy."
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"You're pathetic for being friends with him."
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"Just get your white ass onboard."
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"I am going to see my friends, Rallo."
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"Lester, how do you feel about Seal and Heidi Klum?"
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"I'm glad you asked, Cleveland."
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"You and that black mustache of yours."
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"I didn't know you had it in you."
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"Ma'am, you may wanna cover your child's ears for this."
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"You make me sick."
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"He'll be out for two weeks?"
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"You tell that bagel muncher he's a dead man."
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"Mm. Check out my man, all smooth and sexy-Iooking..."
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"Let me see that. Hanes Beefy-Ts. How much?"
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"- Yeah. I'll give you two for 35. - You got a woman's large?"
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"All right. All right. Get this."
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"Yo, sis, you gotta be more like Cleveland."
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"He's the real deal. He knows how to stand up to the man."
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"In honor of Black History Month..."
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"Help. Somebody help."
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"Now, get off me."
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"Oh, Princess. Thank God. Bring mama the phone."
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"The parade has been a Stoolbend tradition..."
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"Oh, what? I'm gonna end up on death row because I'm black?"
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"Ooh. I love popcorn skrimps."
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"And Madonna and Barbaro."
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"Just another quarter mile and I don't have to be tolerant ever again."
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"The Chief. You're burning the Chief. You did that on purpose. Aah!"
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"As a mother, this is not even the most stressful thing I've done today."
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"- With side orders? - You bet."
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"- What? - You're making me sweat."
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"Well, then keep naming sides."
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"Poppers."
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"- He saved my life. - He what?"
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"- Friends again? - Course we are."
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"Take this, you honky cracker."
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"This is for not letting us have more offensive racial slurs..."
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"...than honky and cracker."
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"Someone clean up the trash."
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"Wait, wait, wait. Someone clean up the white trash."
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"Yeah, that's better."
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"Look, I didn't wanna hit him."
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"But I couldn't let him get away with it, Donna."
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"Well, all right, old man. Finally taking the fight to whitey himself."
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"No, Rallo. I shouldn't have resorted to violence."
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"Violence is never the answer..."
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"...unless the question is, "What is never the answer?""
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"- Cleveland Brown? - That's me."
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"We are investigating a racial incident which took place at the Broken Stool last night."
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"Oh, Lester didn't mean anything by that mess."
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"I'm afraid that's not why we're here, Mr. Brown."
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"According to multiple eyewitnesses, you were seen assaulting Mr. Lester Krinklesac."
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"- What? - Apparently..."
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"...you also referred to Mr. Krinklesac as a..."
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"A honky and a cracker."
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"You're under arrest."
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"- For what? - Hate crime."
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"A hate cri...? What?"
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"I'm gonna call my lawyer."
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"Cleveland Brown for Len Stein."
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"He's not? He's sitting shiva for his dead aunt?"
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"You hear me? A dead ma..."
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"I'm sorry for his loss."
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"You watch. He's still gonna charge me for that call."
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"...like Blair Underwood going to court in L.A. Law."
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"Or Denzel in Philadelphia."
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"But the point is, how dare Lester accuse me of a hate crime?"
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"That's like the Twilight movies lining up to see a bunch of fat girls."
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"It's all backwards."
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"You're a hero, old man."
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"You wouldn't believe how many white college kids bought these T-shirts."
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"- Twenty dollars. - All right."
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"Give me two for 35. I wanna get one for my wife."
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"Look. There's Lester now."
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"- That's verbal assault. Verbal assault. - Witness."
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"Do I?"
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"You're coming with me."
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"You keep your weird son away from my weird son."
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"So I think you'll find, Your Honor, that like most hate crimes..."
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"...this was nothing but a big misunderstanding."
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"Huh?"
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"You know what? It's such a nice day. Why don't we have court outside?"
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"He's the coolest judge."
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"Your Excellency..."
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"Oh... Oop... Hang on. I felt a drop."
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"- You feel that, Tony? - Yeah."
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"Yeah. Me too."
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"And I can't eat. I can't sleep. I live in constant fear."
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"Plus, with my sprained finger, I can't fiddle or whittle."
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"I mean, this guy messed me up bad."
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"- My teeth used to be straight. - That's an outright lie."
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"Oh-ho-ho! So now all white people are liars?"
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"No, just you."
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"And George W. Bush."
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"There, I said it."
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"Do with me what you will."
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"Order in the court. Order in the... Oh, bah, bummer."
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"- Left my gavel outside. - Nope, got it right here."
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"Cheers, man. Anyway, listen. I've heard enough."
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""Okay, Judge Dave. What is the sentence?""
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"I sentence you both to build a float together for the Stoolbend Unity Parade."
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"- What? - What?"
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"Classic Judge Dave. He really thinks outside the box."
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"Like the editors of TIME magazine."
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"We could do a story on computers."
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"- What? - Computers."
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"So, uh, this is fun. The two musketeers."
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"Who says we need Lester and Cleveland to have a good time?"
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"I wish Cleveland and Lester would kiss and make out already."
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"I once tried to kiss Josh Lucas."
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"Punched me. Told him I was doing a bit. Didn't believe me."
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