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Clips from Friends - The One with the Stripper (S08E08)

"Okay, so we'll just come up with a signal. If it's going well, you can take off."
Friends
"Her what?"
Friends
"Well, you could have untied it with your hands."
Friends
"...but, oh, I wasn't allowed to. All we got was a stupid steak dinner."
Friends
"- So, baby, tell me, what is new with you? - Well, actually, um..."
Friends
"Is that a hard question? Are you an idiot? Is that why you're a waiter?"
Friends
"This is why I told the manager I wouldn't wait on you tonight."
Friends
"So, sweetie, you were starting to tell me what is, uh...? What is new with you?"
Friends
"Oh, no, I had my eyes closed so I could concentrate and take it all in."
Friends
"...but you're really going down different ones."
Friends
"I felt really bad about the whole bachelorette party thing, so tonight..."
Friends
"Think of it as a two-month anniversary present."
Friends
"Please, I feel so bad. Just watch the hot woman get naked."
Friends
"I already have a unicorn baptism and a leprechaun bar mitzvah."
Friends
"The '74 Latour is actually drinking quite nicely."
Friends
"How's it feel knowing you're never gonna be with another woman again, huh?"
Friends
"...until you finally have the sweet release of death."
Friends
"[NOISEMAKER HONKS]"
Friends
"Uh, that's an 18th-century Indian artifact from Calcutta."
Friends
"Yes. Ahem."
Friends
"Well, why not? So you could spend your time with this tramp?"
Friends
"I'm sorry. Dr. Green, Mona. Mona, Dr. Green."
Friends
"Are you also a stripper?"
Friends
"But that's gonna cost extra."
Friends
"That is funny. Maybe for my birthday she'll murder someone."
Friends
"- I was going to tell you, but... - But what?"
Friends
"[MACHINE BEEPS]"
Friends
"- Is that what they call strippers sometimes? - When they're hookers."
Friends
"Well, now it's like things are different."
Friends
"But I heard that you totally held your own."
Friends
"And yes, we are gonna have a baby."
Friends
"I mean, he was possessive, he was jealous. He could never just let the little things go."
Friends
"...and thoughtful he is."
Friends
"You probably shouldn't touch me."
Friends
"Should I leave this open for you too?"
Friends
"...but it's only because I really, really like you. Really."
Friends
"I'm going."
Friends
"It took a while to get me in And I'm gonna take my time"
Friends
"[GREEN CONTINUES SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]"
Friends
"- Wanna go see a movie? - Yes."
Friends
"Bye, Dad."
Friends
"Hey, Pheebs, I'm having dinner with my dad tomorrow. Wanna come?"
Friends
"Sure, yeah, he's kind of sexy."
Friends
"Oh, no, I'll be there too."
Friends
"No, Phoebe, I just need you there for support."
Friends
"- I haven't told him I'm pregnant yet. - Oh. Why not?"
Friends
"Because I know he's gonna flip out and I hate it when he gets angry."
Friends
"Oh, Rachel. This is all so "Papa Don't Preach.""
Friends
"No, Pheeb, wait, he's a scary guy. I mean, one time he caught me smoking."
Friends
"He said if he ever saw me doing that again, he would make me eat the entire pack."
Friends
"- Wow. Well, I will be there. - Okay."
Friends
"Gosh, I'm not gonna let that man make you eat your baby."
Friends
"Oh. Hey, who is that guy? I think I know him."
Friends
"- No, you don't. - No, you don't."
Friends
"Oh, my God. Monica, he's the stripper from your bachelorette party."
Friends
"Your secret bachelorette party."
Friends
"- You had a bachelorette party? - She untied his G-string with her teeth."
Friends
"Somebody stop me."
Friends
"I thought we weren't gonna have bachelor, bachelorette parties."
Friends
"You know, we agreed that it's a silly tradition."
Friends
"It's a grand tradition."
Friends
"I'm sorry. They surprised me. There was nothing I could do."
Friends
"This is so unfair."
Friends
"The one thing I wanted to do was throw my best friend a bachelor party..."
Friends
"You went home with the waitress."
Friends
"Ha. Yeah, that was a good night."
Friends
"I can't believe you didn't tell me."
Friends
"You know that the two pillars of marriage are openness and honesty."
Friends
"Ugh. I knew giving you that book was gonna come back and bite me in the ass."
Friends
"How about I order everyone the Moroccan chicken?"
Friends
"Oh, I don't eat meat."
Friends
"It's chicken."
Friends
"- Yeah, I don't eat that either. - I'll never understand you lesbians."
Friends
"- Ahem. Your '74 Lafite, sir. - Seventy-four?"
Friends
"I ordered the '75. That's a magnificent wine. The '74 is sewage."
Friends
"Why would you bring me sewage?"
Friends
"Oh, come on. Don't be such a baby."
Friends
"In case you didn't notice, that is a scary man."
Friends
"He's right, though. The '74 is absolute piss."
Friends
"This was such a huge mistake. I can't tell him, Phoebe. I can't."
Friends
"- Rachel... - No, it's okay. This is what's gonna happen."
Friends
"I'm gonna wait a couple of years and then the baby will tell him."
Friends
"- Why? So he can get mad at the baby? - Hey, that is the baby's problem."
Friends
"- Oh. Everything okay with the waiter? - I have no idea. I went to the bathroom."
Friends
"RACHEL: Well..."
Friends
"Um..."
Friends
"I got TiVo."
Friends
"- What's TiVo? - It's slang for "pregnant.""
Friends
"Phoebe."
Friends
"Are you really pregnant?"
Friends
"Well, uh, yes and no."
Friends
"Except, not no."
Friends
"So to sum it up, yeah."
Friends
"Who is the father? Oh, no. Please don't tell me it's her."
Friends
"No, it's Ross. It's Ross. You like Ross."
Friends
"Oh, Daddy, I hope you're okay with all this."
Friends
"I mean, think about it, this is a good thing. This is your first grandchild."
Friends
"You're gonna be a poppy."
Friends
"That's true. I'm a poppy."
Friends
"[RACHEL LAUGHS]"
Friends
"I'm gonna be a poppy."
Friends
"[ALL LAUGHING]"
Friends
"- So when is the wedding? - The who?"
Friends
"The wedding. There's going to be a wedding."
Friends
"Young lady, don't you sit there and tell me my first grandchild is gonna be a bastard."
Friends
"Rachel Karen Green, tell me there's gonna be a wedding."
Friends
"February 2nd."
Friends
"So it was cool seeing you lecture today."
Friends
"Oh, thanks. Although it seemed like you were falling asleep there a little."
Friends
"Yeah, a lot of my students do that."
Friends
"- So, um, I gotta get going. - Okay, I'll see you tonight?"
Friends
"- Yeah. - Okay."
Friends
"It was amazing."
Friends
"My God, you must be good in bed."
Friends
"So you and Mona. It's been a while now. How's it going?"
Friends
"Uh, it's good. It's going good."
Friends
"I mean, we get along great. She's so..."
Friends
"- Hot? - Well, I was gonna say sweet, but yeah."
Friends
"And she's okay with Rachel and the baby?"
Friends
"Well, I haven't actually told her yet. I don't wanna scare her off."
Friends
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