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Clips from Friends - The One with the Stripper (S08E08)

"Well, you have to be honest with her..."
Friends
"...otherwise you may think that you're going down the same path..."
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"I'm gonna take that book and I'm gonna beat you to death with it."
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"Oh, my God, you are gonna love me so much."
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"...you're gonna have a bachelor party. - What?"
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"Yeah, I got this number from this guy at work..."
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"...and I hired a stripper to come dance for you."
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"Am I going in the wife hall of fame or what?"
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"Honey, that's crazy, I don't you to get me a stripper."
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"Will you let the lady talk?"
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"Come on. Come on, it'll be fun. It'll make me feel so much better."
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"Look, I appreciate it, but, uh, it's a little creepy, you know?"
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"I'm not a bachelor anymore."
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"So don't think of it as a bachelor party."
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"Sure. One year is paper, but two months is lap dance."
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"- Fine, but I'm only doing this for you. - Yeah."
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"And Joey."
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"Thank you. Now, who else do you wanna invite?"
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"Uh, no, no, no. Just Ross and Joey is embarrassing enough."
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"Uh, actually, sorry, I can't even make it. I'm seeing Mona again tonight."
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"I understand. Who would cancel an actual date just to go to a fake bachelor party?"
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"I'm sorry. I gotta cancel tonight, baby."
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"I'm sorry I won't be able to make it to your imaginary wedding..."
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"...but I'm really busy that day."
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"I know, I know. I panicked. I panicked."
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"I didn't want him to start yelling at me like I was some '74 Latour."
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"It's Lafite."
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"All right, here he comes. I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna tell him. I'm gonna be strong."
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"- I just called a friend of mine. - Yeah."
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"Really?"
Friends
"The Plaza?"
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"- Right. Daddy, I need to talk to you please. - What is it, sweetie?"
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"There's not gonna be a wedding. Ross and I are not getting married."
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"- I'm sorry, Daddy. - I don't believe this."
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"Daddy, stay calm, please."
Friends
"Stay calm? How do you expect me to stay calm?"
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"This is unacceptable, Rachel. And I wanna know why."
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"Is it because that punk Ross won't marry you?"
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"- That's it. Is that it? - Yes. He says I'm damaged goods."
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"So, you, uh, nervous about getting married?"
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"What are you doing?"
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"Look, let's pretend it's a real bachelor party, okay?"
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"All right. I can't believe tomorrow's the big day."
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"Knowing you're gonna have to wake up to the same face every day..."
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"You're right. This is more fun."
Friends
"[KNOCK ON DOOR]"
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"That's her. Okay, come on."
Friends
"- Hi. - Hi."
Friends
"So which one of you lucky boys is Chandler?"
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"Uh, that's me."
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"That's me."
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"- So is that a bedroom? - Yeah, yeah, right over there."
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"All right. Whenever you're ready."
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"That was weird."
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"- Why would she go in the bedroom? WOMAN: I'm waiting."
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"- So she's a... - Yep, that's one naked hooker."
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"I love your place. Where is this guy from?"
Friends
"Oh. Wow."
Friends
"So you're more than just dinosaurs."
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"- So much more. - Mm."
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"[BOTH CHUCKLE]"
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"[SHATTERS]"
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"Oh, my God. Oh, my God, I am so sorry."
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"Ah, forget it. It's from Pier 1."
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"[KNOCK ON DOOR]"
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"Sorry."
Friends
"You think you can knock up my daughter and then not marry her?"
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"I ought to kill you."
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"You know, this is actually not a great time for me."
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"So come on. Explain yourself, Geller."
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"- First you get my Rachel pregnant... - You got Rachel pregnant?"
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"- Who did? - You did!"
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"Yes, yes, I did, but it was just a one-night thing. It meant nothing."
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"Oh? Really? That's what my daughter means to you, nothing?"
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"No, no, sir. Um, she means a lot to me. I mean, I love Rachel."
Friends
"- What? - Oh, but not in that way. Heh."
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"I mean, I'm not in love with her."
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"- I love her like a friend. - Oh, really? That's how you treat a friend?"
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"You get her in trouble and then you refuse to marry her?"
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"- Hey, I offered to marry her. - What?"
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"But I didn't want to."
Friends
"Tramp?"
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"I can't believe there is a naked hooker in there."
Friends
"Wait, wait. Maybe she's a hooker and a stripper..."
Friends
"...but she got confused about what she's supposed to do."
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"Could be. I mean, technically, she did strip. We just missed it."
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"Ma'am?"
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"WOMAN: Uh, no, but I could pretend to strip."
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"Okay, here's the extras: Handcuffs, spanking..."
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"No, no, ha, ha."
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"Maybe Monica's playing a joke on you."
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"You know, getting her own husband a hooker. That's pretty funny."
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"I bet Ross was in on it too. I mean, he was conveniently busy."
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"WOMAN: Do you mind if I smoke in here? - Oh, actually, I'd rather... Ahem."
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"Yeah, go ahead. We're gonna have to burn that room down anyway."
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"How could you have kept all of this from me?"
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"You figured you'd get what you wanted, then you'd dump her like Rachel."
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"Hey, I did not dump Rachel. Nor are we still together."
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"[PHONE RINGING]"
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"Oh, um..."
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"Can I...?"
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"Why don't we just let the machine get that?"
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"JOEY [ON MACHINE]: Hey, Ross, it's Joey. There's a hooker over here."
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"We thought maybe you'd know something about it."
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"No. No. No. No. No."
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"I need to lie down."
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"So tonight's the night of the big bachelor party?"
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"Yeah, hey, thanks for giving me that girl's number."
Friends
"No problem. So who's the party for?"
Friends
"- My husband. - You hired your husband a hooker?"
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"- She's a stripper. - No, she's a hooker."
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"Oh, my God, Stu, I can't believe you did this."
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"You're absolutely sure she's a hooker?"
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"Either that, or she's just the best, most expensive date I ever had."
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"- Maybe she meant to get you a hooker. - Why would she do that?"
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"Maybe she wants you to learn something."
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"Is there anything you're really bad at, you know, sexually?"
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"This is the worst bachelor party ever."
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"WOMAN: What's taking you boys so long? - In a minute."
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"In a minute? What's gonna happen in a minute?"
Friends
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