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Clips from Magnum, P.I. - Thank Heaven for Little Girls and Big Ones Too (S01E01)

"he would've blown it higher than a Chinese firecracker."
Magnum, P.I.
"- I caught the girls. - Who wouldn't have been here in the first place..."
Magnum, P.I.
"I'm calling the police. They can hold you until we find out which is the original."
Magnum, P.I.
"If you involve the police, you're gonna bring unwarranted publicity..."
Magnum, P.I.
"to some very prominent families,"
Magnum, P.I.
"including Mr. Masters."
Magnum, P.I.
"Assuming that you're telling the truth,"
Magnum, P.I.
"what were you doing with the original in the first place?"
Magnum, P.I.
"It all started when my younger sister was accepted at the Sorbonne in Paris."
Magnum, P.I.
"Oh, please, no soap opera sob stories."
Magnum, P.I.
"It's not a soap opera. My parents couldn't afford it."
Magnum, P.I.
"But she is unbelievably talented, and I'd do anything to see her go."
Magnum, P.I.
"So I made a deal with someone to get enough money so she could."
Magnum, P.I.
"And I thought you'd have a flimsy excuse."
Magnum, P.I.
"- What kind of a deal? - I authenticate paintings."
Magnum, P.I.
"Mostly Impressionists."
Magnum, P.I.
"The art collector that sold the Gauguin to Robin Masters..."
Magnum, P.I.
"offered me a lot of money to make a copy of the original,"
Magnum, P.I.
"then authenticate the copy and give the original back to him."
Magnum, P.I.
"It's his most prized painting. Really, I think he'd rather die than give it up."
Magnum, P.I.
"- So you committed a crime. - No!"
Magnum, P.I.
"- Well, not totally. - Oh?"
Magnum, P.I.
"You're only a thief if you're not caught, huh?"
Magnum, P.I.
"But I didn't go through with it. When it came right down to it,"
Magnum, P.I.
"But by then, the fake had been shipped here."
Magnum, P.I.
"So you're telling me that..."
Magnum, P.I.
"this whole story about you and the beach bum..."
Magnum, P.I.
"and them with their crazy little imaginations..."
Magnum, P.I.
"was just used to get them into the estate?"
Magnum, P.I.
"That was our idea."
Magnum, P.I.
"Amazing. This is the original."
Magnum, P.I.
"There! You see? I told you! Now everything is okay."
Magnum, P.I.
"No, everything is not okay. You and these five urchins are involved..."
Magnum, P.I.
"- in a very serious crime. - Urchins?"
Magnum, P.I.
"Hey, cool it, Higgins. I told you the plan was our idea."
Magnum, P.I.
"- I'm calling the police. - Why? What for?"
Magnum, P.I.
"You've got your painting back."
Magnum, P.I.
"Why get five little girls into trouble for trying to return something?"
Magnum, P.I.
"I'm reporting you."
Magnum, P.I.
"If she goes, we go."
Magnum, P.I.
"At least Huggins let us go."
Magnum, P.I.
"Why doesn't that make me feel better?"
Magnum, P.I.
"You'd feel okay if Magnum hadn't been such a spoilsport about the whole thing."
Magnum, P.I.
"But I'm afraid he was right. We were committing a crime."
Magnum, P.I.
"Well, it worked, almost. [ Gasps ]"
Magnum, P.I.
"Almost doesn't count, does it, Miss Booton?"
Magnum, P.I.
"[ Girl ] Uh-oh."
Magnum, P.I.
"What's a four-letter word for ""young girl''?"
Magnum, P.I.
"""Brat.''"
Magnum, P.I.
"""Brat.'' Mahalo."
Magnum, P.I.
"Doesn't fit. It does in my book."
Magnum, P.I.
"It doesn't in my puzzle. Then what'd you ask me for?"
Magnum, P.I.
"Pardon me. I should've known better than to bother you..."
Magnum, P.I.
"while you're eating your breakfast in a club that you're not a member of."
Magnum, P.I.
"I'm sorry. I've just been up all night. I'm tired."
Magnum, P.I.
"I think they call that an occupational hazard."
Magnum, P.I.
"No, they don't. It's called being suckered by five little girls."
Magnum, P.I.
"[ Intercom Buzzes ]"
Magnum, P.I.
"Yeah? [ Moki ] There's this girl here to see Magnum."
Magnum, P.I.
"Is he there? There's a girl here to see you."
Magnum, P.I.
"If she's under 1 6, I don't wanna know."
Magnum, P.I.
"Who is it? I don't know, but she sounds like a client."
Magnum, P.I.
"In that case, send her up. ""Send her up''?"
Magnum, P.I.
"Rick, come on. She's a potential client, and you could use the business."
Magnum, P.I.
"I can use finishing my breakfast in peace."
Magnum, P.I.
"You can use the bucks. Bye. Wait a minute."
Magnum, P.I.
"Oh, no! The girls have been kidnapped."
Magnum, P.I.
"Wait. Let me guess. The kidnapper wants to exchange..."
Magnum, P.I.
"the fake girls for the original-- Stop it!"
Magnum, P.I.
"This is not a joke! Did you call the police?"
Magnum, P.I.
"No, he said he'd kill them if I did that. Uh-huh. Uh-huh."
Magnum, P.I.
"We've got to do something fast, or they're gonna die of heat exhaustion."
Magnum, P.I.
"Of what? He called a half hour ago."
Magnum, P.I.
"He said he had them locked up in a place where the temperature..."
Magnum, P.I.
"would get to be 1 30 degrees by noon."
Magnum, P.I.
"That's only three hours from now!"
Magnum, P.I.
"That's very good. Have you ever considered taking up acting?"
Magnum, P.I.
"I am so unlike the person you are seeing right now."
Magnum, P.I.
"I sound like a complete fruitcake. I know it."
Magnum, P.I.
"I have a master's degree from Brown University."
Magnum, P.I.
"I'm a Phi Beta Kappa. But look at me! Look at me!"
Magnum, P.I.
"I'm being chased by hoods. My girls are kidnapped. They might die!"
Magnum, P.I.
"Hey, Linda, come on. I'm a good, honest person."
Magnum, P.I.
"I've never done anything like this before."
Magnum, P.I.
"I don't believe this is happening! Now wait. Calm down."
Magnum, P.I.
"Tell me what happened."
Magnum, P.I.
"I'm sorry. Who kidnapped them?"
Magnum, P.I.
"The art collector I switched the paintings for."
Magnum, P.I.
"But you canceled that deal. I told you."
Magnum, P.I.
"He never would've sold the painting if he'd thought he actually had to give it up."
Magnum, P.I.
"He was waiting with a gun last night when we got back to the room."
Magnum, P.I.
"He took the girls, and he said if he didn't get the Gauguin back--"
Magnum, P.I.
"Wait a minute. Nothing is going to happen to them."
Magnum, P.I.
"Nothing's gonna happen."
Magnum, P.I.
"I'll get the fake from Higgins, and we'll give it to the kidnapper."
Magnum, P.I.
"If it fooled Higgins, it can fool him."
Magnum, P.I.
"- I threw it away. - You threw it--"
Magnum, P.I.
"You threw away that beautiful fake?"
Magnum, P.I.
"Madam, please, control yourself."
Magnum, P.I.
"Control myself? How could you throw that painting away? Linda--"
Magnum, P.I.
"Boy, you really beat all-- Linda, come here."
Magnum, P.I.
"Look, Higgins and I do this all the time."
Magnum, P.I.
"It's sort of a game."
Magnum, P.I.
"A game? My girls may be dying, and you're playing a game?"
Magnum, P.I.
"You're not going to get anything from him this way."
Magnum, P.I.
"just trust me."
Magnum, P.I.
"Higgins, we really do need that fake Gauguin. This is an emergency."
Magnum, P.I.
"Somebody has kidnapped the girls."
Magnum, P.I.
"He has my wholehearted sympathy."
Magnum, P.I.
"This isn't funny. They're in danger. just give me the fake."
Magnum, P.I.
"- I threw it away. - Oh, come on!"
Magnum, P.I.
"You're just trying to buy time to think up some sort of a deal."
Magnum, P.I.
"What's it going to be this time? The car? My bed?"
Magnum, P.I.
"- My firstborn male child? What? - I'm buying no such thing."
Magnum, P.I.
"- I threw that cheap imitation away. - Then we're gonna have to take the original."
Magnum, P.I.
"- That's not amusing, Magnum. - Higgins, five little girls are going to die..."
Magnum, P.I.
"unless I deliver that Gauguin to the person who's holding them."
Magnum, P.I.
"I don't care what that's worth in cash,"
Magnum, P.I.
"but I can't believe that you think it's worth..."
Magnum, P.I.
"those little girls' lives.!"
Magnum, P.I.
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