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Clips from The Simpsons - The Lastest Gun in the West (S13E13)

"Hey, boy, where'd you get that hat?"
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"He's just about the greatest guy who ever lived."
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"No kidding? Hey, speaking of achievers,"
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"they're thinking of spraying your old man's workspace for ticks."
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"That's great, champ. I know you've been wanting that."
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"Well, got to mosey, Homer. Ma'am."
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"Bart sure is fond of that cow gentleman."
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"It's just not fair. This Buck fellow's had all the advantages."
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"Horse-riding lessons, the finest makeup, delicious studio food."
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"Oh, Homie, you'll always be my western hero."
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"I can't wait till I get good."
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"Buck's here!"
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"Thanks for coming, Mr. McCoy. We cooked your favorites."
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"I like the sound of that last one."
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"Don't listen to them, Buck! It's an ambush!"
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"They're trying to jump your claim!"
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"Take him outside."
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"Gee, Buck, your old films are as violent as today's!"
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"One of the wheels broke off my chair today,"
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"but I didn't make a movie about it."
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"In the '50s, I did a TV show."
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"It only lasted a year, but we did 360 episodes,"
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"all of them great. I did the commercials myself."
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"Remember kids, Drunken Cowboy brand whiskey is smooth as milk!"
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"I'm not sure I approve of selling whiskey to children."
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"Well, that ad was aimed at children who were already heavy drinkers."
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"Oh!"
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"Tonight's episode... "Excuse Me While I Kill The Sky. ""
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"Why are you driving a car?"
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"Yeah, in the '70s, Westerns were out and detective shows were in."
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"It seems like all I did was shoot hippies."
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"They wrote me out of the show and it became Room 222."
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"So that's how you ended your career?"
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"Yeah, well, what can you do?"
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"The Western went the way of the evening newspaper and polio."
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"Well, I think Westerns are due for a comeback."
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"Yeah! We can have showdowns at the schoolyard and use nerds as Indians."
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"Bart, you look so cool."
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"I was thinking this could be a new fad."
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"Hey, you're not fun, you're fat!"
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"Now, listen up. When I come back tomorrow, you better have cowboy suits,"
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"and they better be adorable."
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"This is Kent Brockman here at Springfield Elementary,"
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"where a new Western craze is sweeping the campus."
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"I'm Annie Oakley!"
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"I'm Kevin Costner in one of his Western roles!"
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"I'm a gulch!"
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"So I guess you could say"
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"this barely qualifies as news. I'm Kent Brockman."
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"Oh, give me land Lots of land"
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"Under starry skies above"
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"Don't fence me in"
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"Unless you are an employee"
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"Krusty, how do you feel about putting Buck McCoy on your show?"
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"Who's the first one again?"
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"Buck McCoy."
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"Forget it! I'm not putting some Western star on"
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"just 'cause it's the flavor of the month."
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"I want my show to have a timeless quality."
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"Here's your hanging chad sketch, Krusty."
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"Oh, good, you worked in Judge Ito."
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"Please put Buck on! He's my hero!"
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"Plus, he'll work for scale."
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"Scale minus 10."
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"I ain't going on some clown show. I'm retired."
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"No one expects you to do anything difficult."
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"They understand you're too old."
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"Listen, missy. The last two city-slickers who used reverse psychology on me"
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"are pushing up daisies."
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"They're dead? No, they just got lousy jobs."
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"You know what? I bet he can't even fit into his old costume."
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"I can't, huh? You two wait right here."
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"Let's see, Texas or Massachusetts?"
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"Texas."
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"I like the way you think."
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"Boy, that's some fancy shooting."
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"Oh, I've seen fancier."
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"Ooh! Right in the panhandle!"
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"Write that down."
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"Buck, this is a real honor."
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"I grew up watching your horse operas down at the Bijou."
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"Yeah, things sure have changed since the '50s."
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"I don't care."
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"You know, it's been a long time since I performed live."
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"You'll do fine. Just remember,"
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"there'll be millions of people watching you."
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"Millions!"
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"And TV Guide's Cheers and Jeers editor."
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"And he's already given out all his cheers."
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"and Martin Luther King Boulevard,"
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"it's The Krusty the Klown Show,"
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"with special guest Buck McCoy."
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"We've got such a great show tonight."
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"I won't be doing a monologue because my feet hurt."
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"And now our opening sketch."
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"We don't take kindly to transvestite chimpanzees here in Pine Corners!"
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"I said, no one can save you now!"
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"Shut up! I'm coming!"
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"Oh! Like you're so perfect with your plastic mane"
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"and your painted-on spot. What's real on you? Nothing!"
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"He's drunk!"
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"I've seen drunker."
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"Oh, right, yeah, the guns."
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"We're free!"
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"These hilarious health professionals"
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"will cut me out of my clothes after this commercial."
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"Did I forget to mention I'm an alcoholic?"
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"For shame."
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"This is horrible. My spit-takes all have blood in them."
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"Look, I'm really sorry."
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"Sorry don't suture my colon! And you're off my show forever!"
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"Bart, I couldn't help noticing Buck is a total fraud,"
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"so I took the liberty of creating a new hero for your wall."
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"That is just grotesque."
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"Eh. We could try it."
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"Yes!"
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"My son lost his hero."
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"How come I'm not happy?"
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"You care about Bart's feelings."
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"Stop saying that!"
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