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Clips from Gilligan's Island - A Nose by Any Other Name (S01E01)

* The weather started getting rough *

"* The weather started getting rough *"

Gilligan's Island

- Oh! - Easy now, gently, gently.

"- Oh! - Easy now, gently, gently."

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Please, my career.

"Please, my career."

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I do make very good tea though.

"I do make very good tea though."

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and that should take the swelling down.

"and that should take the swelling down."

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You're supposed to cover him with a blanket

"You're supposed to cover him with a blanket"

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I mean, could you, like, fix my broken nose?

"I mean, could you, like, fix my broken nose?"

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After all, a nose isn't everything.

"After all, a nose isn't everything."

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Au contraire means on the contrary.

"Au contraire means on the contrary."

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That's exactly what Mrs. Howell said.

"That's exactly what Mrs. Howell said."

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Does make me look handsomer though.

"Does make me look handsomer though."

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- Operate on my nose and fix it. - Gilligan, I said I'd operate.

"- Operate on my nose and fix it. - Gilligan, I said I'd operate."

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- That's better. - Yes.

"- That's better. - Yes."

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- At is? - Anesthetic.

"- At is? - Anesthetic."

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which are analgesic in nature due to the presence

"which are analgesic in nature due to the presence"

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of nitrous oxide compounds.

"of nitrous oxide compounds."

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Get.. Ah, get away from me y-y-you thing! Ah!

"Get.. Ah, get away from me y-y-you thing! Ah!"

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You can't get me out of here?

"You can't get me out of here?"

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I doubt it. That patient had twins.

"I doubt it. That patient had twins."

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And I got me.

"And I got me."

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Mrs. Howell, you place your hands under his back.

"Mrs. Howell, you place your hands under his back."

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And Mary Ann, under his knees.

"And Mary Ann, under his knees."

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Now, very gently, turn him over.

"Now, very gently, turn him over."

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[all scream]

"[all scream]"

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It's just a sprain, Mr. Howell.

"It's just a sprain, Mr. Howell."

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It'll be better before you go to bed tonight.

"It'll be better before you go to bed tonight."

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I hope so.

"I hope so."

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If it isn't, I won't be able to cuddle my teddy...properly.

"If it isn't, I won't be able to cuddle my teddy...properly."

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(Mrs. Howell) 'Can you tell us what we did wrong last time, Professor?'

"(Mrs. Howell) 'Can you tell us what we did wrong last time, Professor?'"

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Now, ladies

"Now, ladies"

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you're supposed to turn the patient over gently.

"you're supposed to turn the patient over gently."

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You needn't push quite so hard.

"You needn't push quite so hard."

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Do you want me to help them.

"Do you want me to help them."

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Kind of roll over like something--

"Kind of roll over like something--"

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- No, no, you're unconscious. - Oh, that's right.

"- No, no, you're unconscious. - Oh, that's right."

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- Now, take it easy, girls. - Okay.

"- Now, take it easy, girls. - Okay."

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- A little harder than that. - Okay, push..

"- A little harder than that. - Okay, push.."

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All together. One, two, three..

"All together. One, two, three.."

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Help!

"Help!"

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[thud]

"[thud]"

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Now, it's just a sprain, Skipper.

"Now, it's just a sprain, Skipper."

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It'll be better before you go to bed tonight.

"It'll be better before you go to bed tonight."

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Thanks, Professor.

"Thanks, Professor."

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I must say we make a handsome pair of bookends.

"I must say we make a handsome pair of bookends."

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This is dreadful. We're running out of victims.

"This is dreadful. We're running out of victims."

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Well, I guess, I'll have to do this myself.

"Well, I guess, I'll have to do this myself."

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Now, ladies.

"Now, ladies."

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I want you to listen to me very carefully.

"I want you to listen to me very carefully."

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And I want you to do exactly what I tell you.

"And I want you to do exactly what I tell you."

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Don't worry, Professor, it's just a little sprain.

"Don't worry, Professor, it's just a little sprain."

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I'm sure it'll be better before you go to bed tonight.

"I'm sure it'll be better before you go to bed tonight."

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It's not the wrist I'm worried about.

"It's not the wrist I'm worried about."

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I better exercise this knee

"I better exercise this knee"

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before it begins to stiffen up on me.

"before it begins to stiffen up on me."

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[theme song tune]

"[theme song tune]"

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I don't know whether my nose is getting smaller

"I don't know whether my nose is getting smaller"

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or my face is getting bigger.

"or my face is getting bigger."

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Hi, Skipper, what happened to you?

"Hi, Skipper, what happened to you?"

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Oh, well, Professor's giving us a first-aid course

"Oh, well, Professor's giving us a first-aid course"

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for emergencies, but what he didn't say was

"for emergencies, but what he didn't say was"

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the first emergency would be the first-aid course.

"the first emergency would be the first-aid course."

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- How's the nose, little buddy? - Terrible.

"- How's the nose, little buddy? - Terrible."

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Professor said it'd be a while before that swelling went down.

"Professor said it'd be a while before that swelling went down."

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I think it'll stay this way.

"I think it'll stay this way."

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I wasn't too handsome to begin with.

"I wasn't too handsome to begin with."

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It's is like something that should be hanging

"It's is like something that should be hanging"

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in a delicatessen store.

"in a delicatessen store."

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It's all my fault. I ordered you up that tree.

"It's all my fault. I ordered you up that tree."

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- Skipper, it's not your fault. - It is.

"- Skipper, it's not your fault. - It is."

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And I'll never give you another order.

"And I'll never give you another order."

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Skipper, you didn't make me fall.

"Skipper, you didn't make me fall."

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Gilligan, no matter what you say..

"Gilligan, no matter what you say.."

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I mean we're not aboard ship anymore.

"I mean we're not aboard ship anymore."

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It's my fault. I shouldn't give you orders.

"It's my fault. I shouldn't give you orders."

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And I'll never give you another order.

"And I'll never give you another order."

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Skipper, it's all my fault.

"Skipper, it's all my fault."

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It was mine, and that's an order.

"It was mine, and that's an order."

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- Aye aye, Skip.. Oh! - Ahh!

"- Aye aye, Skip.. Oh! - Ahh!"

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- Gilligan. - Hi, Prof..

"- Gilligan. - Hi, Prof.."

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What happened to you?

"What happened to you?"

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I didn't know broken arms are contagious.

"I didn't know broken arms are contagious."

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Our arms aren't broken, Gilligan, they're just sprain

"Our arms aren't broken, Gilligan, they're just sprain"

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from our first-aid course.

"from our first-aid course."

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I wish you'd never found that chapter in a medical book.

"I wish you'd never found that chapter in a medical book."

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That medical book. Does it have a chapter on operations?

"That medical book. Does it have a chapter on operations?"

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It must have, after that chapter on first aid.

"It must have, after that chapter on first aid."

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Gilligan, your nose isn't broken, it's just bruised.

"Gilligan, your nose isn't broken, it's just bruised."

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Now, you keep applying those cold compresses..

"Now, you keep applying those cold compresses.."

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No more water, I'll drown.

"No more water, I'll drown."

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...and in a few days, the swelling will be gone.

"...and in a few days, the swelling will be gone."

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No, it won't because it's broken, we operate?

"No, it won't because it's broken, we operate?"

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The professor says your nose isn't broken, it isn't broken.

"The professor says your nose isn't broken, it isn't broken."

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- Or else it would hurt right-- - No!

"- Or else it would hurt right-- - No!"

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See, it is broken. Ooh.

"See, it is broken. Ooh."

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Gilligan, your nose isn't broken.

"Gilligan, your nose isn't broken."

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Keep saying it to yourself.

"Keep saying it to yourself."

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My nose isn't broken. My nose isn't broken.

"My nose isn't broken. My nose isn't broken."

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Skipper, I know your nose isn't broken, my nose is broken.

"Skipper, I know your nose isn't broken, my nose is broken."

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- Hi, Lovey. - Oh, where have you been, dear?

"- Hi, Lovey. - Oh, where have you been, dear?"

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I just finished your beautiful new sling.

"I just finished your beautiful new sling."

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Oh, thank you, yes.

"Oh, thank you, yes."

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I've just come from seeing Gilligan.

"I've just come from seeing Gilligan."

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Oh, it's terrible.

"Oh, it's terrible."

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Every time I see that boy's nose, I think of inflation.

"Every time I see that boy's nose, I think of inflation."

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Let me try on your new sling, darling.

"Let me try on your new sling, darling."

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Darling, be very, very careful. Oh, that's nice.

"Darling, be very, very careful. Oh, that's nice."

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There must be something we can do for Gilligan.

"There must be something we can do for Gilligan."

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Maybe I should go over and cheer him up.

"Maybe I should go over and cheer him up."

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It is if you're an anteater.

"It is if you're an anteater."

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- Oh! Oh! Lovey! - Oh, I'm sorry, dear.

"- Oh! Oh! Lovey! - Oh, I'm sorry, dear."

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You know, I really must convince Gilligan

"You know, I really must convince Gilligan"

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that a nose doesn't make a man.

"that a nose doesn't make a man."

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[knocking on door]

"[knocking on door]"

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- Come in. - Oh, there you are, Gilligan.

"- Come in. - Oh, there you are, Gilligan."

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I've been looking for you everywhere.

"I've been looking for you everywhere."

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I'm not hard to find.

"I'm not hard to find."

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Just look for my nose, I'll be somewhere near it.

"Just look for my nose, I'll be somewhere near it."

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Yes. Now, let me take a good look at you.

"Yes. Now, let me take a good look at you."

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No, Mrs. Howell, I'm a mess.

"No, Mrs. Howell, I'm a mess."

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- Oh, au contraire! - Is it that bad?

"- Oh, au contraire! - Is it that bad?"

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