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Clips from Three's Company - Cyrano de Tripper (S02E02)

"- Good-bye? - You do understand,"
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"this is a rather special evening for Chrissy and me."
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"We'd like to be alone, so, "Good-bye, Jack.""
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"Oh, yes. Well. [ Clears Throat ]"
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"Good-bye, Chrissy. I'll see you sometime."
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"Yes! [ Chuckles ] I'll give you a call."
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"Oh, good. You know where to reach me, do you?"
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"Right. Well, I'll be moving on my little way here."
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"Bye. Bye. No, wait."
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"Michael, there's something you ought to know."
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"Jack lives here."
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"Oh! Well, in that case, I'll take you home. No!"
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"Oh, it's all right. The three of us lead our own lives."
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"[ Chuckles ] Oh, good!"
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"The three of you? You and two guys?"
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"No. Me and two girls."
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"And you can still find time to cook?"
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"[ Laughing ]"
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"It's strictly platonic!"
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"- Oh, I knew you wouldn't understand. - Oh, but I do understand."
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"The platonic principle has always intrigued me."
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"Grease? Ohh! We tried to get tickets to that show, it was all sold out."
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"[ Chuckles ] Chrissy!"
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"Mm. That reminds me. What?"
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"Let's get on with the dinner. So far, it's been excellent."
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"Oh, well, thank you! Yes, the stuffed artichokes were very delicate."
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"Thank you! The claret consommé was a delight!"
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"Maybe a bit too much sugar,"
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"but otherwise, first-rate."
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"And the wine you chose: a subtle, yet daring... Too much sugar?"
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"Yes. Cinnamon in the consommé is enough."
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"Too much sugar? Does he have a hearing problem?"
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"Too... much... sugar."
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"Maybe for someone with impaired taste buds. Uh, Jack."
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"If my taste buds were amputated, I could distinguish between sweet... and sickly."
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"Sickly? [ Scoffs ] You don't need taste buds, you need a new palate."
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"- Which may require a new brain. - Are you saying I am insensitive?"
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"Jack, please! Even a rhinoceros wouldn't add sugar to cinnamon."
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"I mean, anybody who would do that is..."
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"is in the same class with the great chefs, like Julia Child..."
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"the last time I spoke to Raymond Oliver, he was emphatic..."
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"You spoke to Raymond Oliver?"
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"He said, "No sugar with the cinnamon in the claret consommé!""
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"You spoke to Raymond Oliver?"
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"The chef of the Grand Véfour in Paris?"
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"You know Raymond Oliver?"
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"We stuffed... chickens together."
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"Jack, you're being very rude."
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"Not only that, I put too much sugar in the consommé."
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"Good. Now can we get on with dinner, please?"
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"So you know Raymond Oliver?"
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"A charming man. Did he give you any tips?"
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"Michael, should we sit down..."
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"You should see the way he sautés his onions!"
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"How, how, how? Would you like me to show you?"
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"Are you kidding? Come into my kitchen. Fellas!"
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"How about his pâté en brioches?"
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"Well, I've heard it described as "catching a dazzling ray of sunlight.""
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"[ Sighs ]"
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"Wow! That was really a great dinner, Mrs. Roper. Oh, thanks, Janet."
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"You're welcome. Yeah. Certainly was better than that chili..."
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"we had for dinner yesterday."
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"Boy, that stuff was so hot, it kept me awake all night."
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"I wish I could say the same about him."
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"- What? What? - Oh, nothing. Nothing, Stanley."
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"I... I, uh... Oh, uh, I better get us some more coffee."
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"[ Chuckles ] [ Murmurs, Chuckles ]"
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"Listen, I was just thinkin' about your friend Jack."
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"Kissin' Chrissy this mornin'."
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"And I don't like it. Well, why don't you stop thinkin' about it?"
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"I mean, he's not gonna get away with it."
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"- Get away with what? - Aw, come on."
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"We both know what Jack and Chrissy are doin' up there right now."
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"Oh! Oh, did Chrissy tell you?"
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"Of course not! But I have my ways."
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"I mean, like the Good Book says, "Jack can fool some of the people all the time,"
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"but he don't fool me none of the time.""
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"And I don't like it."
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"Oh, well, listen. Neither does Jack."
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"Then why is he doing it? Well, Chrissy talked him into it."
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"Chrissy? Why?"
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"[ Scoffs ] Why not? I mean, he lives there."
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"And he can do the job."
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"You know, I don't understand you kids. I mean..."
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"Y-You talk like she's ordering a Big Mac."
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"Boy, I wish it were that simple."
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"I mean, you don't realize the problems Jack has."
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"It is a miracle he can get anything done."
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"Huh? Yes."
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"With Chrissy's date up there."
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"Huh?"
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"The kitchen? Yup."
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"Wait a minute. Wait. You mean there are three of them up there?"
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"Yeah. Where do you fit into all this?"
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"[ Chuckling ] Oh! Nowhere, thank goodness."
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"You're a good girl."
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"Thanks. But I'll tell ya. I would love to have stayed and watched."
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"Watched? Yeah."
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"Helen? Helen!"
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"Coming! I'm coming. Never mind the coffee."
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"You know, I let that kid move up there because he said he was gay?"
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"But after what I saw this morning, and after what I heard just now,"
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"- I know better! - W-Wait a minute!"
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"Whoa, whoa, Mr. Roper. All I said is that he's up there cooking dinner..."
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"for Chrissy and her date! You see what I mean? [ Stammering ]"
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""Cooking a dinner"? Yes!"
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"- What's wrong with that? - I don't know! Yet."
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"Mr. Roper, that is all that's happening!"
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"[ Doorbell Ringing ] Maybe I'm wrong. And for Jack's sake,"
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"I hope I am."
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"Yes? Hi, does Jack Tripper live here?"
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"You want the apartment upstairs. Oh, thank you."
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"Hold it!"
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"Jack's not in. What do you want with him? I wanted to return his sweater."
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"I borrowed it from him last night, when we on the beach."
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"What? You, with Jack, were on a beach?"
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"Listen, thank you very much. That's very nice of you, and I'll make sure he gets it."
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"- Thanks a lot. - Did you hear that, Helen?"
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"Jack and that girl? What about that? Oh, well..."
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"[ Laughing ] Isn't that just like Jack,"
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