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Clips from Jon Benjamin Has a Van - Stardoor (S01E01)

"Get those bags out of your eyes, okay?"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Need you looking good tomorrow."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Just don't worry about nothing. I'm taking care of you."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- Still to come, a special "shame on me" report"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"From our consumer advocate ed sheath."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- In the first six months"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Since i moved into my new neighborhood,"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"I've begun to notice it looks more and more filthy,"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Dirty, disgusting,"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"And the main cause of this,"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Aside from immigrants, is litter."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Recently, we received a number of complaints"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"About where most of this is coming from-"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Me."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"At first, i denied these allegations,"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"But then we received this incriminating footage."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Not that i need the calories."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Notice the trash can 15 feet away."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"You lazy jerk."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Shame on me."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"This next one's hard to believe."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"What? Are you serious?"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"We even confronted me about this on camera,"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"And this was my response."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- Excuse me, edward, why are you throwing trash on the street?"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- No, i'm not."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Shame on me."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- The point is littering is disgusting,"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"And those who do it are disgusting pigs,"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"This is me! Every inch i loathe!"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Fat! Irresponsible! Lazy!"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"That's me! Yeah!"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Why am i alive?"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"you!"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"I'm edward sheath."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Shame on me."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- Chief magistrate, as you can clearly see,"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"At a high rate of speed,"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Careened into jargon loprax's transport,"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Killing two of his offspring."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"And according to the record,"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"He showed clarity issues."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- Ooh!"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- Defending statements."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- Defense rests."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"On the contrary, they got it absolutely right."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Onto transport lane 57 and collided with jargon loprax,"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Killing his two offspring in the backseat of the car."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"This clarity-Deficient earth idiot..."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Killed those two offspring."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"There's no question about it."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Nobody's arguing those facts."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"They're gone, aren't they?"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Because this drunkard..."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Killed them."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- Sit down."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- You're gonna miss 'em, aren't you?"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Probably still smell 'em."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- Do you know if they all died?"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- Anything?"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- Oh, my god."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- What?"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- Well, a 50th birthday isn't something a lady"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Really wants to advertise."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- Therefore, chief magistrate,"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"I would like to request a mercy cube for my client."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- On the grounds that jargon loprax's offspring"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Are biological offspring!"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Please the court."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Relax. I'm doing great."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"They're bios. It's case closed."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"You got nothing to worry about."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Oh, did i mention they were female bios?"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"The most useless bios of them all."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Chief magistrate, we should be thanking my client."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"The breeding of biological offspring"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Is an offense punishable by death."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"And jargon loprax over here should have known better"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Than to harbor biological offspring in his transport."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- Yeah! - Yeah!"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- Agreed."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Jargon loprax, i hereby sentence you"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"To death by execution, effective immediately."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- Your honor, we request a mercy cube."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- Denied."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"As for our human visitor,"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"You too are not without blame."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"i'm so sorry, jon."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- I hereby revoke your driving privileges on gu'an"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"For a period of six months."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- No, no, no! This is an outrage!"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"We will not accept this. We will appeal this."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- Motion accepted."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Be careful with that, jon. That's some strong stuff."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- I'm telling you. I'm telling you."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Jon, come on."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Pleasure was mine."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Don't be a stranger, jon."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Hey, jon, you forget something?"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Here's looking at you, jon."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Sorry, what? "Casa" what?"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Okay."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"That was a movie."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Trish!"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Thank you."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Yup, we did it!"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Thank you very much..."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"All of you."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"oh,."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- Uh-Oh."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- Sir, were you driving this van?"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- No."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- No."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Jon, tell 'em i-I-"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- What? - That i wasn't drinking."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- Oh, no, he was drinking."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- What? - You have to come with us."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- Jon! - Drank a lot."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- This is serious! - You shouldn't have driven."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- Star door!"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
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