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Clips from Arrested Development - Switch Hitter (S02E02)

"and the one son who had no choice..."
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"[Narrator] In fact, Michael was meeting at home at the behest ofhis fugitive father."
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"Right before we play his company in softball?"
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"No, no. Our business is in trouble, and I think he sees an opportunity."
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"- let him see us in our element. - I hope you don't mean the whole family..."
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"- for The Old Man and the Sea. - [Michael] I'll help you with that later."
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"Do you wanna say something or should I, Tobias?"
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"Oh, here I go!"
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"[Clattering]"
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"You're taking it for the side effect, aren't you?"
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"- Michael. - Oh God."
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"Lucille, l-I'll say it again. You never know what's going to happen in the army."
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"- And a piece of toast. - Please, Stan Sitwell's coming over."
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"That hairless freak is coming here? None ofhis hair is real, you know."
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"[Narrator] And later, Sitwell laid out his plans."
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"You got a wonderful piece of property here that's going nowhere."
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"You know, Sudden Valley conjures up the image of a sinkhole, no?"
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"I want you to see so you don't think- I have that written down in my notebook."
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"And Sudden Valley just sort of implies that something awful could happen all of a sudden."
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"Save us some money."
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"And Sitwell's just trying to figure out our batting order..."
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"trying to drop $15 million to find out our batting order."
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"While Stan Sitwell used the game to raise funds for underprivileged children."
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"You got gumption. You speak your mind. That means you're good enough to work for me."
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"[Narrator] One that was difficult to meet, given Gob's behavior..."
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"Oh. I meant from Ann."
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"Lindsay, wake up. I need you to play on the softball team this year."
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"I feel that we've not brought something up that might be a solution..."
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"Send you in his place? I called. They don't want you back."
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"[Narrator] Oscar had served in Vietnam as a croc spotter on a Swift boat."
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"- [Bob Hope] Hey, I'm free after the show. - I said older, Bob, not dead."
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"it's time to call you-know-who."
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"That Fünke is some kind of something."
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"Overrated. I'll just move- I'm sorry."
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"Okay. We're okay. Okay."
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"Sorry, is this your office?"
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"It's the Grinch guy. You're too young."
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"Well, my ideas and I knew it. That's great."
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"- I need more. - There were 34 proposals in there."
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"You'd be amazed how fast they come out when you read them all in a row."
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"- "Thirty-three"- - Gob, that was six-months' worth of work."
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"- You can't just blurt them all out at once. - Mr. Bluth."
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"- He's coming. I've got to go. - You blew them away."
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"- We can build houses. We can win games. - That is what I wanna hear."
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"That's right. What team are you talking about?"
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"[Exhales] Oh, I haven't done that in 30 years."
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"- L-I'm desperate here. - Then I'll make you a deal."
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"Oh. L- I'm not. L- On camera, I seem much taller."
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"And Maeby picked up the reader's report, which had now become her book report."
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"[Narrator] That afternoon it was game time..."
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"Yeah, just can't hit today. Guess you're really disappointed in me."
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"Hey. Everybody has days like this. It's only a game."
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"Okay. We're good."
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"[Michael] Get on that ball!"
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"I'm taking care of what you screwed up. You blew it again, Michael."
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"Let me tell you something. I blew it when I let you start controlling me again."
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"Yeah, and Stan Sitwell liked my ideas. He really believed in me."
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"- I'm proud of you. - Really?"
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"[Narrator] On the next Arrested Development."
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"- Maeby gets her father a job. - I gotta fire one of ya."
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"- Yeah. I gotta go. - It's Tobias Fünke. I told you about the head shots?"
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"You are coming to the front."
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"Now the story of a wealthy family who lost everything..."
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"but to keep them all together."
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"It's Arrested Development."
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"[Man Narrating] Michael Bluth had scheduled a meeting with Stan Sitwell..."
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"the Bluth Company's chief competitor."
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"Why are we having this meeting at home?"
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"I think he'll be pretty impressed, knock on wood."
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"[Michael] ...knock on wood."
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"So, I figured the guy's a family man, why not invite him over..."
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"- 'cause George Michael's off with Ann. - Ann?"
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"Hmm. That'll play well with Sitwell. "Where's your son?" "He's out with Ann.""
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""Who's Ann?" "Don't ask me, I'm just the boy's father.""
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"Hey, screw Sitwell! He comes in here telling us..."
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"how to build our houses, how to raise our kids."
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"We know what we're doing. We don't need any help from him."
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"- Gonna need a butter knife. - That's what I'm talking about."
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"George Michael's got these powerful little fingers. He should be here."
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"How do you think I feel? He said he would help me on this essay..."
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"Oh, great. Okay. So you have to read this, and then explain it..."
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"and, this is important, say it in my own words, okay?"
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"Smart, but not too smart. Let's have a four-syllable max."
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"No. I believe in letting children learn from their mistakes, Michael."
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"They make a mistake once, they shan't make it twice."
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"Don't worry. It has not fallen into the garage. Knock on wood."
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"- [Inhales] - You gonna want to help me with that?"
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"No, I can't. I have an audition tomorrow."
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"I'm up for a minor, but meaty, role in a feature film."
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"- "Confidence Man Two." - Oh, yeah? I didn't see the first Confidence Man."
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"No. Confidence Man Two is my character."
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"I think I'll drive up today and plot my route to the studio."
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"How 'bout I come with you? I could help you prepare."
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"Yes, well, it's for a con man, which I don't think you know anything about."
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"And besides, don't you have school?"
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"No. Um- [Chuckles] Today is "Help Your Dad Follow His Dream" day."
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"Great. We can take the carpool lane."
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"- I need ice. - I'm glad Sitwell's coming over."
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"Let him see that we're doing fine as a family."
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"The only help we need is from each other."
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"- And apparently whatever's in that bottle. - Thanks for reminding me."
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"- My Teamocil. - Wait a minute. Teamocil?"
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"Isn't that that supplement that you and Tobias were hocking before the F.D.A. Shut you down?"
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"[Narrator] In the mid '90s, Tobias formed a folk band..."
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"to promote a supplement that promised better unity and teamwork."
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"- [Together] Teamocil - Teamocil may decrease your sex drive."
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"- Teamocil - Good job, buddy. - Thanks, friend."
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"Since I've been taking this again, I've been getting along great with my husband."
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"Mother, not a good time. I'm having a meeting here."
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"- Look at what Buster sent from the army. - It's blacked out."
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"Oh, the government. Keep reading."
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""Sergeant Blank is treating me very blank..."
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""and it looks like I'll be shipping off to blank in about a blank."
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"- I blank you, Mother. Buster." - I've done everything I can."
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"I even tried to convince them he's gay, but no one would believe..."
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"that a woman like me would have a gay son."
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"[Narrator] Even once on a magazine cover..."
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"that had been mocked within the family for years."
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"- Remember, Lucille? - No, I don't."
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"- Get me a vodka, rocks. - Mom, it's breakfast."
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