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Clips from Seinfeld - The Andrea Doria (S08E08)

"Elaine, Newman is my sworn enemy..."
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"...and he lives down the hall from my home. My home, Elaine."
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"Where I sleep, where I come to play with my toys."
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"Well, anyway, get this..."
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"...I spoke to Alan."
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"You know, I told him I didn't wanna see him anymore."
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"Called me big head."
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"Big head?"
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"It's almost a compliment."
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"It's one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me."
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"-Hello? Hey, George. -Hey."
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"Yeah, the tenant association has decided to hear my side of the story..."
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"...so I gotta kind of get ready. I'll see you."
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"All right."
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"-ls he not gonna go? -Doesn't look like it's gonna happen."
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"-All right, well, I'll see you. -All right."
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"Kramer, aren't you taking any medication for that?"
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"They taste terrible."
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"-Just swallow them. -Oh, my throat's too tender."
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"-All right, sit down. -I don't want to."
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"-Come on. Just sit down. -No, Jerry. What--?"
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"-Sit down. Lean your head back. -Hey!"
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"Open your mouth. Open your mouth."
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"Open it. Open it."
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"What kind of pills are these anyway?"
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"For Smuckers?"
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"May cause panting and loss of fur?"
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"But he's a dog. You need to see a real doctor."
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"All right."
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"I'm taking the car. I gotta run errands. Wanna go?"
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"Come on, you wanna go for a ride, huh?"
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"Lady, could you move your head a little bit?"
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"-What? -Your head. I can't see out the back."
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"Little more."
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"Little more."
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"Thank you."
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"I don't see any tissues back here."
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"This isn't the way to the park."
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"Where are we going?"
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"I recognize this block."
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"You're taking me to the doctor."
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"So, Mom, Dad..."
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"...I was hoping that you could help me..."
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"...to remember my childhood a little more clearly."
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"I feel a draft. Let's change tables."
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"Get out of here. We have a booth."
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"Order a hot dish."
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"Why can't we sit over there?"
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"-That's not a booth. -Who says we have to sit in a booth?"
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"Well, I didn't take a subway to be in a drafty restaurant!"
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"Mom--"
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"Now, George, what do you wanna know about your childhood?"
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"Actually, I think I'm pretty clear on it."
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"Where's that breeze coming from?"
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"-Kramer, out of the car. Out now. -No, Jerry."
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"-All right. That's it. Come on. -No. Jerry."
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"Hey. Hey, get back over here. Kramer."
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"Get over here. You are bad."
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"Bad neighbor."
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"Kramer."
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"Just then a rescue ship emerged from the fog and saved us."
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"It was--"
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"It was the sweetest sight my eyes ever saw."
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"The tenant board will now hear Mr. Costanza's testimony."
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"How'd it go? Get it all delivered?"
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"-What happened? -Kramer bit me."
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"-Bit you? -We had an argument about me..."
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"...moving to Hawaii and he locked on to my ankle like it was a soup bone."
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"I'm hobbled. I don't think I can do my route."
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"And they're awarding the transfer in two days."
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"-You can't deliver mail. -Why not?"
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"You're right. It's just walking around and putting it in the boxes."
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"-Well, what am I gonna wear? -My uniform from my rookie year."
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"Here you go. Merry Christmas."
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"Mail on Sunday?"
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"I was handcuffed to the bed in my underwear..."
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"...where I remained for...."
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"She certainly seemed interested in me."
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"Though she was attractive, she was also, in fact, a Nazi."
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"The water that I had been swimming in was very cold..."
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"...and when I dropped the towel there had been significant shrinkage."
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"My parents were looking at me."
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"So there I was..."
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"...with the marble rye hanging from the end of a fishing pole."
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"In closing, these stories have not been embellished..."
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"...because they need no embellishment."
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"They are simply, horrifyingly, the story of my life..."
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"...as a short, stocky, slow-witted bald man."
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"Thank you."
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"Oh, also..."
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"...my fiancÈe died from licking toxic envelopes that I picked out."
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"...but sometimes it says, Photographs: Do not bend."
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"Do not bend."
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"Just crease, crumple, cram. You'll do fine."
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"This is he."
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"I don't understand."
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"Very well."
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"What?"
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"That was the vice president of the post office."
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"I didn't get the transfer."
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"How did they know?"
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"Too many people got their mail."
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"Close to 80 percent."
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"Nobody from the post office has ever cracked the 50-percent barrier."
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"It's like the three-minute mile."
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"-I tried my best. -Exactly."
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"You're a disgrace to the uniform."
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"You know, this is your coat."
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"Damn."
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"He flew right into your head..."
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"...Iike he couldn't avoid it."
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"Never seen that before..."
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"There's no contest. The guy had nothing."
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"The ship went down, he got into a lifeboat. Come on."
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"So when do you move into the apartment?"
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"They're making their decision today."
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"-What's the matter with you? -Nothing..."
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"...except that a bird ran into my giant freak head."
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"What giant freak head?"
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"The one that sits atop my disproportionately puny body."
Seinfeld
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