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Clips from New Girl - Kryptonite (S01E01)

"- You are ruining my pre-game mix. - What am I gonna say?"
New Girl
"- Hey, Spencer, give me my TV back. - Hi, Spencer."
New Girl
"- Give me my TV back, buddy. - Hey, No "buddy.""
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"- How about "jerk" or "idiot"? - Mr. Crabs."
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"- Mr. Crabs is an option. - Your hand is on my leg."
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"- Oh, your hand's on my leg. - No, it really isn't."
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"Classic he said, she said."
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"Okay, Jess, just pull over right here."
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"Okay, you know what? Just one more shot."
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"One more time around, Jess, and then we're good. You got this."
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"- Good. - Here we go."
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"- All right, you got this, Jess. - Come on. Come on."
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"Just one more time. Gonna..."
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"One more shot. One more shot. Just one more. Just one more."
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"- You know, I'm on to you. - What do you mean?"
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"Okay, you told me that I'm top dog..."
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"but secretly, you think you're top dog, all right?"
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"Can you take these doors off child-lock..."
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"so I can kill myself? - Men working."
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"Things are different now, man, all right? You're not top dog anymore. I am."
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"You know what? You are absolutely correct. You are the top dog. Here."
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"What are you doing?"
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"There's no top dog crown. Are you trying to make me look stupid?"
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"Look, man, this is about respect. I'm a lot flyer than I used to be."
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"- Yeah, much flyer. I respect you. - No, you don't."
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"Because if you did, you would have told me that the small room is the top dog room."
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"Face to face"
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"Just when..."
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"Just when you thought Our chance had past"
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"What? I own this song."
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"You go and save the best for last"
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"Oh!"
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"What's happening?"
New Girl
"What's happening is that this is a great song."
New Girl
"I'll be out here if you need me, Jess."
New Girl
"That's the wizard? He's wearing a scrunchie."
New Girl
"Looks like he juggles clubs on the beach."
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"Yeah, like he'd ever have a job."
New Girl
"Didn't you just kind of assume he'd have a handlebar mustache?"
New Girl
"- I miss you, Jess. - Don't hug him back. Ugh."
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"- Ugh. - Oh, that's not healthy."
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"- I told you to water the plants. - Huh? Oh."
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"Uh-oh. Uh-oh."
New Girl
"- I'm coming in! - Jess, take your shoes off!"
New Girl
"We keep an Asian household."
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"Didn't see that coming."
New Girl
"What are you doing? - She gonna be okay in there?"
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"Let's just talk about this, okay? Hold on."
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"No, that's mine. You can't take that!"
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"Jess, hold up."
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"What are you doing?"
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"I got it! It's really heavy, but I got it!"
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"Oh, my God, we created a monster."
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"- She looks like Helena Bonham Carter. - Oh, gosh."
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"- Soft hands, Jess. - Jess, come on, let's share it."
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"- You know, work out a system. - Hey. Hey, that's my shirt."
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"- No, this is my T-shirt. - That is my shirt. It has my name on it."
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"- Don't drop it. Jess, don't... - Come on, everybody out now."
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"- Give me my shirt! - I like this shirt."
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"Hey, Jess, no, no, no, stop."
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"- Don't mind us. We're just here for the TV. - Who are these guys?"
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"- They're my roommates. - Cece, hi."
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"Wait, let's just talk about this, okay? You know, rap it out."
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"We can't rap it out. We're not together. It's not the same."
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"- Doesn't mean we can't talk. - Nothing to talk about."
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"Give me my shirt back."
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"No, you gave this to me. I wanna keep it."
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"- Give her her T-shirt, man. - No, I don't want to."
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"And I gave her this hat. I'm gonna take this back."
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"Then I dare you, come take it off my head, pal."
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"I dare you."
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"- You guys look ridiculous. - Look, give her the shirt back."
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"- Jamboree. Jam. - Jam."
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"Girl made a lot of jam, Spence."
New Girl
"You know how time-consuming that can be?"
New Girl
"You need ajar funnel, a canner, some fresh fruit..."
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"strawberries, raspberries, maybe a tayberry, maybe a ripe..."
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"- No more fruit. - You live with these people, Jess?"
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"Seriously? Stay here until you find a better place to live."
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"I don't like you, stretch. I don't like anything about you."
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"- And I'm not afraid to... - I got this."
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"I've got a place to live, Spence. It's over."
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"I spent six years trying to figure you out."
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"All you are is a guy with really beautiful hair."
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"I'm happy you cheated on me."
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"Thank you, because if you hadn't, I would have married you."
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"And then you would have hurt me all over again."
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"And, yeah, I was scared to start over."
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"I didn't know what to do."
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"And, yeah, I'm living with three guys I met on the Internet."
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"And, yeah, stranger danger is real. But I love these guys."
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"I barely know them, I just met him, but I love them."
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"I would just take it easy with the love stuff."
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"Give her the shirt back, man."
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"Schmidt happens."
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"- Aah! What was on your hand? - Thumb ring, bitch!"
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"You got some Schmidt on your face."
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"You know what? Fine. Here. Take it."
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"- Keep the bell. - What?"
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"Yeah, well, I thought you were the love of my life, so..."
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"Suck it, Mr. Crabs."
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"- You hit that guy. - Whatevs. You know."
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"You know what?"
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"Maybe I didn't have respect for you before..."
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"because if this is what respecting you feels like..."
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"So you recognize."
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"It's just that I wanted my old room back."
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"You can keep the big room."
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"I'm not scared of your mind games."
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"I'm taking the small room, Winston."
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"- Schmidt, that's not what I mean... - No. Listen to what I mean."
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"You can double reverse dog me until the cows come home."
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"I'm not falling for it."
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"What do you take me for, some kind of idiot?"
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"Yes."
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"- Can't believe I got all my stuff back. - You did, but most of it's broken."
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"Yeah, it's broken, but, I don't know, it's mine."
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"Yeah, but it's broken. Hey, look at that. I think it's working."
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"- Oh, my God! - We got a TV again."
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"All right."
New Girl
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