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Clips from The Good Place - Pilot (S01E01)

"there were only five minutes left in flying"
The Good Place
"How is that a defense?"
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"I made a bad choice?"
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"and all you wanted to do was talk about morals."
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"This is a relief."
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"I can stop my deliberations."
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"You're a selfish person,"
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"You are on your own."
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"How 'bout this trash storm, Gunnar?"
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"More cleaning up to do."
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"It's a... it's a dream come true."
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"We're okay!"
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"You can't die here."
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"Come on, I mean, even you have to admit,"
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"those guys are psycho."
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"I don't know what's happening to me."
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"I mean, it's my duty"
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"to be calm and in control"
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"and I'm falling apart."
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"No, Michael, you are a paragon of fortitude."
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"You're a mountain of strength."
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"I'm a canyon"
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"full of poo-poo."
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"Jianyu, the architect of this neighborhood"
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"full of poo-poo."
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"Surely now, you will say something?"
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"Grace us with your vocalized wisdom."
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"Please, I'm begging you."
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"Oh."
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"Yes, yes, I understand."
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"The strength is inside me."
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"It's been there all along."
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"No, of course, I can overcome any obstacle."
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"Oh, thank you, Jianyu, thank you."
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"I'm back."
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"You did it."
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"Oh, you have so much to teach me."
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"No really, look."
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"Here I go."
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"Just water tonight, huh?"
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"I think it's awesome."
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"I mean, someone's got to do it, right?"
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"Yeah. No... no, I meant..."
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"I meant... I... it sucks that I can't do it"
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"more often, you know?"
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"knowing my friends will get home safe,"
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"See that hot bartender over there?"
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"The bad news is, it means I can't drive you guys home."
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"But I did call a cab for you guys."
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"But they recognized my number,"
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"and they didn't want to come."
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"I've thrown up in a lot of cabs."
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"So are we good here?"
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"Eleanor, you have a very important choice to make."
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"If you blow us off,"
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"you are banned from Thursday night drinks"
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"forever."
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"Yeah, I'm good with that."
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"I'll see you guys at work."
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"Peace!"
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"You, let's go."
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"How did you know I was here?"
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"I saw you from my window."
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"That's where I live, by the way."
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"Not that you ever asked."
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"What are you doing?"
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"I went to all the places"
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"cleaned up everything."
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"You're doing this because you feel bad."
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"And you're not even doing it to get me to help you anymore"
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"for stupid Gunnar and stupider Antonio"
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"and the whole neighborhood."
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"I felt bad about what I did."
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"It was a weird feeling."
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"Not used to it. Didn't love it."
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"Well, feeling remorse about being wrong"
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"isn't as good as just doing something right,"
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"but it's a start."
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"Look, I think you're capable of change."
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"And I will help you try."
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"Oh, wow, man,"
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"Hi there. I've collected"
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"the worst-smelling garbage that I could find."
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"What?"
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"No."
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"Okay, I won't let you down starting now."
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"Ah, Eleanor."
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"- Good morning. - Michael."
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"You figured out how to make a to-go cup"
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"that doesn't leak right where the seam meets the lid."
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"Oh, I'm so glad you noticed."
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"I was very proud of that."
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"One of the hardest problems I had to solve."
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"I know what you did."
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"I knew you were special,"
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"but this is proof."
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"Enjoy your coffee."
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"And the cup."
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"Okay, let's begin your good person lessons."
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"You got a long way to go to pull this off."
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"It will take hours and hours"
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"of studying ethics and moral philosophy."
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"We're gonna have assignments"
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"and quizzes and papers."
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"It's gonna be so much fun."
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"You get to avoid eternal damnation."
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"Oh, yeah. Right."
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"Hey, I got you a present."
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"What?"
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"Senegal."
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"Yeah, but I forkin' nailed it."
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"_"
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"rolled out of control and plowed right into you."
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"So this is how it works."
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"all that bad."
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"Okay, okay."
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"_"
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"- Isn't this great? - Um, yeah."
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"especially when your motivations are so obviously corrupt."
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"Oh... okay, fine, fine."
The Good Place
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