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Clips from Married with Children - The Bald and the Beautiful (S03E03)

"See, I was out walking alone."
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"I couldn't face being around people,"
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"I went to work today,"
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""Tuna. Three for $1.49.""
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"Well, it happens."
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"Get on with the rest of your life, Steve."
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""Minoxidil. Hope for the hairless.""
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"You know what this is?"
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"This is the stuff they give guys"
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"What? Going bald."
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"Well, I don't know."
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"Let me see your head."
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"Ah."
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"Wait-- Oh, you see something?"
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"Then it's true. It's starting."
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"Well, that's like saying"
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"Bette Davis is just starting."
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"You mean, you saw this and didn't tell me?"
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"I saw it and didn't care."
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"Old Man Time's"
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"been doing a little mowing on your head too."
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"You've seen my wife, my house, my kids."
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"I'm lucky my hands haven't fallen off."
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"How can you accept this?"
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"If all our hair falls off,"
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"Well, there you go!"
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"Look on the bright side."
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"Oh, God. What am I going to tell Marcie?"
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"What if she leaves me?"
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"Who will have me?"
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"It's pathetic."
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"Come on, Steve."
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"There's plenty of popular bald guys out there."
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"Name one."
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"Khrushchev."
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"Lex Luthor."
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"The Elephant Man."
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"Draw her attention away from it."
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"Paint a picture on your bald spot."
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"Learn to throw your voice."
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"Where are they now that I need them?"
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"I'm gonna fight this with every follicle on my being."
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"A sea breeze."
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"Oh, hello."
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"I see you're not fat"
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"and don't have an attitude,"
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"so you can't be looking for me,"
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"We just came in"
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"to see if we could get some change."
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"So many places have a rule"
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"Well, that's just for the homely."
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"Say,"
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"didn't you used to play football for the Bears?"
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"Me?"
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"yeah."
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"I knew it."
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"You just have those rugged good looks"
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"Yeah."
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"You know, if it wasn't for this darned bum knee,"
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"like you remember me."
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"Damn this leg!"
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"No, I've just got a soft spot in my heart"
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"for guys who are losing their hair."
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"Would you ever sleep with a bald guy?"
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"Oh, God, no."
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"Ahem."
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"Yeah, right."
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"[CLEARS THROAT]"
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"Mecca is that way, Al."
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"Well, better than last night."
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"I just ran into two girls"
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"Anyhow, I came down to get some Minoxidil,"
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"but you need a prescription."
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"All I could get over the counter"
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"was this stuff, Dr. Fur."
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"[WATCH BEEPS]"
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"Ooh, I can feel it working."
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"Smells like dog food."
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"If I thought it would grow hair,"
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"I'd put your socks on my head."
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"No-ho-ho-ho."
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"Get away from me, Peg."
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"It's not Tuesday."
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"Al, honey, get up."
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"Something smells."
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"I think Buck threw up in the house,"
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"but I can't find it."
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"I wish you took that attitude on our sex nights."
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"Well, I'm gonna go finish my nap upstairs."
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"Get away from me."
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"Leave me alone."
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"[DOORBELL RINGS]"
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"AL: Get off of me!"
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"Oh, hi, Marce."
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"Oh, Peggy."
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"I'm so worried about Steve."
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"and he wore a sombrero."
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"Ooh, the ribbed kind?"
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"On his head, Peggy. It's a hat."
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"Oh. Well, you've got to put your foot down."
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"If I didn't, Al would still be wearing the Walkman."
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"Well, that's not all."
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"Steve insists we turn the light off"
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"Well, that was one of the few rules"
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"Al and I both agreed to."
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"Usually on Monday nights,"
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"Instead, he took me"
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"to an Elmer Fudd retrospective..."
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""Isn't he sexy?""
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"You think he's having an affair?"
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"Oh, don't worry, Marce."
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"doesn't necessarily mean anything."
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"The smallest things upset them."
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"you lose your cigarette in his pudding..."
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"Well, I'm telling you,"
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"Steve has something on his mind."
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"So, what are you supposed to do about it?"
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"Care?"
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"[LAUGHS]"
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"Come on."
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