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Clips from Married with Children - The Bald and the Beautiful (S03E03)

"He's got a mother."
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"She broke him, let her fix him."
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"We have enough trouble"
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"keeping ourselves happy in a marriage."
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"Come on."
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"Let's go shopping"
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"and really give them something to worry about."
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"Come here."
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"Bring my Dr. Fur back."
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"Bring the Dr. Fur back here."
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"Damn dogs followed me home."
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"Al, I got some bad news."
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"Dr. Fur has been recalled."
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"They determined it to be 100% dog food."
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"Aw, Steve!"
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"So you got taken,"
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"butthisstuff is the real thing."
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"and in two weeks, Sasquatch City."
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"Ah-ah-ah. Not so fast, Al."
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"This may not work on you."
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"See, the doctor I got it from in the bar"
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"Sit down."
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"Did he happen to grab you and tell you to cough?"
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"Do you wanna know if you're"
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"an Insta Hair candidate or not?"
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"Ah, go ahead. Give me the test."
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"Are you ready? Yeah."
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"Okay, here we go."
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"Good, good."
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"Yeah, good."
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"Just stay there one second, Steve."
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"I got a little test for you!"
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"Al, Al!"
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"Don't you see?"
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"Where there's pain, there's life."
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"You should know that better than anyone."
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"Your follicles are alive."
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"Uh..."
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"Al, you're not supposed to drink it,"
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"it goes on your head."
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"What the hell did you say "bottoms up" for?"
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"Don't worry!"
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"Ah..."
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"Don't worry."
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"Can you still see me?"
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"Splash some on your head."
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"[BOTH MOANING]"
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"I'm gonna part mine, Steve."
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"What are you gonna do with yours?"
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"I'm gonna grow mine wild"
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"like a lion's mane. [LAUGHS]"
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"You know, if we don't grow hair,"
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"I'm gonna kill you."
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"If we don't grow hair, you won't have to."
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"I'll kill myself."
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"What you doing?"
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"We're growing hair, Bud."
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"They're growing hair, Kel."
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"Why? They're old."
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"Who looks at 'em anyway?"
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"Yeah, Dad."
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"I mean, look around you."
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"Well, Bud, hair's hereditary."
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"So is hair-loss."
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"his hair will be falling out?"
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"Oh, Bud, my poor sexless, hairless brother."
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"I am so happy for you."
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"Dad!"
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"What did you have me for, a biological experiment?"
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"and now this."
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"Stress causes baldness."
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"You can always make money selling flowers at airports."
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"I'll lend you one of my dresses."
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"Yeah, give me the one that says,"
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""Put 'em here, boys.""
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"with all the kids running around, chanting,"
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""Bud, Bud, head like a spud.""
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"I mean, am I gonna lose just a little like you,"
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"hair won't be important..."
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"that a man won't be judged"
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"by what he looks like on the outside,"
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"but who he is on the inside."
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"But that's not gonna happen,"
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"so here you go."
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"Oh, hi, Kelly."
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"Sorry I didn't make you breakfast."
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"I was busy prying off the pillow"
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"that was stuck to Daddy's head."
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"He's not growing any hair, is he?"
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"No, but a few hundred came off with the pillow."
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"I mean, I saw pictures of Dad when he was young."
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"He stood upright. He had hair."
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"Now look at him."
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"How's a woman to know?"
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"You can't, honey."
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"did you throw out those hairs I had"
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"sitting on the counter?"
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"Sometimes, you come up craps."
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"Um, Bud."
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"I don't think we have much to talk about."
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"I mean, after you painted my face on Dad's bowling ball"
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"and left it outside my door."
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"I was cruel, and I want to apologize."
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"See, you're not losing your hair."
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"Look."
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"Uh...oops."
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"Dad!"
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"that I'm playing with Bud, do you?"
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"No."
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"That's why we had him."
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"Come on."
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"We'll talk about it on the way to the store."
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"I have to pick up some more Dr. Fur for Buck."
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"It's the only thing he'll eat."
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"His coat looks nice too."
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"Oh, hi, Steve."
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"Ladies."
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"Yeah. He's upstairs."
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"Gee, you look good in a hat, Steve."
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"[BOTH LAUGHING]"
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