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Clips from Family Guy - No Meals on Wheels (S05E05)

"You've been wearing those things for three days."
Family Guy
"Fine. Screw up all my fuzziness."
Family Guy
"Oh, my God."
Family Guy
"- I'm Jesus. - Peter, that's a static shock."
Family Guy
"when you dragged your feet across the carpet,"
Family Guy
"Dad!"
Family Guy
"Ow! Damn it, Peter. Stop it!"
Family Guy
"I gotta tell you, you're pissing me off"
Family Guy
"worse than when I watched the O.J. Verdict with my old roommate."
Family Guy
"We, the jury, find the defendant, Orenthal James Simpson, not guilty."
Family Guy
"- Yes! - What the hell?"
Family Guy
"Peter? I know you're in here."
Family Guy
"Yes, I am, Lois, but where?"
Family Guy
"Peter, if you shock me, I swear to God I'm leaving you."
Family Guy
"Well, there's a Quonset hut that I've never seen in this room before."
Family Guy
"I could be in that New York style magazine kiosk."
Family Guy
"I was in the bathroom. The hut and the kiosk, decoys, Lois, decoys!"
Family Guy
"Glenn, thank you so much for helping me tear up my carpet."
Family Guy
"Well, you know, Lois, I got to confess, when you called me,"
Family Guy
"I sort of misunderstood what you were asking for."
Family Guy
"That's why I rushed over, but..."
Family Guy
"What the hell is this?"
Family Guy
"And since you won't get rid of those pajamas, I'm getting rid of the carpets."
Family Guy
"Hey, Lois, you want me to leave a little strip in this thing?"
Family Guy
"Maybe a lightning bolt, unicorn, something like that?"
Family Guy
"Hey, what's this? Some kind of really old coin."
Family Guy
"Let me see that."
Family Guy
"Wait a minute, do you know what this is?"
Family Guy
"This is an 18th-century Rhode Island ship token."
Family Guy
"I can finally afford that operation to swap my vocal cords with Patrick Stewart."
Family Guy
"Don't you think it's time we did something with it?"
Family Guy
"- What? - 'Cause I had an idea."
Family Guy
"No, no, no. I'm talking about that dream we had, Peter."
Family Guy
"Remember? We tried to open that restaurant,"
Family Guy
"Mmm. I hope these taste as good as they look."
Family Guy
"The secret is in the frosting, but I'll never tell."
Family Guy
"You're right. And I'll make my special cupcakes."
Family Guy
"- No, Peter... - Oh, yeah, right. That was the problem."
Family Guy
"All right, everybody, only three hours till opening."
Family Guy
"This is going to be the coolest place in Quahog."
Family Guy
"Hey, I'm hungry. I got a credit card."
Family Guy
"Oh, God, I'm so nervous. I hope it goes well."
Family Guy
"Oh, yes, I'm sure it will go as well as Liza Minnelli's Playboy shoot."
Family Guy
"Oh, God, please put your clothes back on."
Family Guy
"Mama... Mama..."
Family Guy
"Do you love me now, Mama? Please love me, Mama!"
Family Guy
"- May I help you? - Yes, do you accept the Discover card?"
Family Guy
"Hey, Lois. Diamond Jim Brady over here just asked if we accept the Discover card."
Family Guy
"Oh, they're in an exclusive club called "anybody. ""
Family Guy
"than your fly-by-night credit card."
Family Guy
"- Look, you don't have to insult me. - No, no, no."
Family Guy
"Oh, look, it's one of those early Maude episodes"
Family Guy
"with the really long opening credit sequence."
Family Guy
"Lady Godiva was a freedom rider She didn't care if the whole world looked"
Family Guy
"Joan of Arc with the Lord to guide her She was a sister who really cooked"
Family Guy
"Workin'all day in a science lab, yeah"
Family Guy
"Clara Barton was a famous nurse"
Family Guy
"who was rapping with the soldiers and bandages, too"
Family Guy
"Susan B. Anthony always out doin' stuff Marchin'around and holdin' up signs"
Family Guy
"And then, there's Maude."
Family Guy
"Pocahontas had it all goin' on"
Family Guy
"What the hell?"
Family Guy
"Indira Gandhi ran a whole big country That isn't easy even if you're a guy"
Family Guy
"And then, there's Maude!"
Family Guy
"Except for that one time when she didn't come back"
Family Guy
"And then, there's Maude! Come on!"
Family Guy
"But still found a way to keep herself looking fine"
Family Guy
"You and I own a restaurant. Can you believe it?"
Family Guy
"I know. I feel like I'm dreaming. Wait. Maybe I am dreaming."
Family Guy
"That means I can do whatever I want without consequences."
Family Guy
"- What? Well, how is that possible? - Isn't it obvious?"
Family Guy
"We're not getting enough customers."
Family Guy
"After all, I'm the only one in this family with any business experience."
Family Guy
"All right, Violet and Pigpen, you've been seeing each other"
Family Guy
"a few weeks now. What seems to be the problem?"
Family Guy
"Well, I tried."
Family Guy
"I even hired M. Night Shyamalan to direct my TV commercial."
Family Guy
"'cause it turns out M. Night Shyamalan was involved with September 11th."
Family Guy
"Our usual donut shop has gotten a little Puerto Ricany."
Family Guy
"What if we made your place our new spot?"
Family Guy
"- Joe, that's a great idea. - Fantastic. We'll see you tonight."
Family Guy
"This is awesome."
Family Guy
"This is going to be cooler than that time Ben Stiller taught me how to be myself."
Family Guy
"But how can you leave me now, Ben Stiller,"
Family Guy
"I've taught you everything you need to know, Peter."
Family Guy
"Now, it's time for me to go help another child."
Family Guy
"I will, Peter. I will always be with you."
Family Guy
"Lois, roll out the red carpet."
Family Guy
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, Joe. I thought you were bringing your cop friends over."
Family Guy
"You mean paraplegics. These are my friends, Peter."
Family Guy
"Oh, God. I hope there's not one of those angry, handicapped Vietnam guys"
Family Guy
"I've seen some things, man, and some stuff."
Family Guy
"I wouldn't recommend it."
Family Guy
"This is weirder than that rap video by M.C. Escher."
Family Guy
"Going up the stairs and going down the stairs"
Family Guy
"If you're handicapped, or know someone who's handicapped"
Family Guy
"then come on down to Big Pete's House of Munch,"
Family Guy
"where the elite without feet meet to eat."
Family Guy
"Lois, this is insanity. I think we should shut down the restaurant."
Family Guy
"Lois, let me explain something to you, all right? Cripples are not cool."
Family Guy
"- Do we have to... - What do you see?"
Family Guy
"- A picture of Mark Harmon. - A picture of Mark Harmon,"
Family Guy
"the greatest actor who ever lived."
Family Guy
"- Peter... - Lois, do you see a wheelchair"
Family Guy
"under Mark Harmon?"
Family Guy
"And I know what you're thinking. " Peter, this is just like your Gil Gerard speech. ""
Family Guy
"And you can stop right in your tracks, because it is not."
Family Guy
"Peter, I like our restaurant the way it is, and if you don't, that's your problem."
Family Guy
"I don't want you and your kind eating here anymore."
Family Guy
"You're ruining what was supposed to be a cool establishment."
Family Guy
"Are you telling me that you have a problem with me being handicapped?"
Family Guy
"Yeah, when you're not drinking and gambling on your reservations,"
Family Guy
"Fine. If that's the way you want it, but we're not going to go down easy."
Family Guy
"Okay, that was easy. But I'll be back with more handicapped guys."
Family Guy
"Peter, we'll give you one last chance to let us in!"
Family Guy
"Help! Help! Somebody, help me!"
Family Guy
"Ben Stiller, help me."
Family Guy
"No, Peter. I heard what you said about my movies."
Family Guy
"- How did you hear? - Hello!"
Family Guy
"Without remembering how lucky he is"
Family Guy
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