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Clips from Parks and Recreation - Christmas Scandal (S02E02)

"Aw!"
Parks and Recreation
"All right, sorted out that payroll issue, this is done."
Parks and Recreation
"Let's skip that one. They can buy their own beer."
Parks and Recreation
"I'm getting hungry. Let's get something to eat."
Parks and Recreation
"Yeah? That's a terrible gift."
Parks and Recreation
"Okay. What do you think I should get her?"
Parks and Recreation
"Diamonds. Can't go wrong with diamonds."
Parks and Recreation
"Diamonds? There isn't a woman alive"
Parks and Recreation
"who doesn't love diamonds."
Parks and Recreation
"Even the super left-wing chicks that saw Blood Diamond and cried,"
Parks and Recreation
""Yeah, bitch, give me more of them blood diamonds!"
Parks and Recreation
"We are here looking at a videotape. This is back in April 2005."
Parks and Recreation
"We're looking at Councilman Dexhart... Leslie, you should see this."
Parks and Recreation
"And he's now about to shake hands with Leslie Knope,"
Parks and Recreation
"the alleged sex toy."
Parks and Recreation
"And then almost unconsciously touching her hands to her hips."
Parks and Recreation
"See that? Right there."
Parks and Recreation
"It's like she's sending him a message that she's ready for childbearing."
Parks and Recreation
"the tiniest story gets dissected over and over again."
Parks and Recreation
"In 2004, a kid from Pawnee went to the Olympics,"
Parks and Recreation
"and it was reported on for over a year."
Parks and Recreation
"he just was going, literally, to watch the Olympics."
Parks and Recreation
"I want you to hold a press conference and clear my name."
Parks and Recreation
"Why not? What's in it for you?"
Parks and Recreation
"What are you, Lutheran? I love Lutherans."
Parks and Recreation
"Councilman, with all due respect, get a grip."
Parks and Recreation
"If you don't hold a press conference,"
Parks and Recreation
"It won't do you any good."
Parks and Recreation
"Listen, I gotta go."
Parks and Recreation
"I'm expected at two different maternity wards."
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"But before I go, I'd be remiss if I didn't ask."
Parks and Recreation
"Should we?"
Parks and Recreation
"Oh, my God!"
Parks and Recreation
"People already think we did it."
Parks and Recreation
"Get out of here! All right, fine."
Parks and Recreation
"Shoeshine. Shoeshine. Oh! Hey! Hey."
Parks and Recreation
"First idea, spray tan gift certificates."
Parks and Recreation
"Ugh. No."
Parks and Recreation
"Okay, you know how people say that you should give gifts"
Parks and Recreation
"that you would want to get yourself? What would you want?"
Parks and Recreation
"Easy. Indianapolis Colts' Reggie Wayne jersey,"
Parks and Recreation
"number 87, double XL, home blue,"
Parks and Recreation
"Okay. Never mind. No?"
Parks and Recreation
"Hip Hop Abs dance fitness DVD?"
Parks and Recreation
"My God! ... with Leslie Knope..."
Parks and Recreation
"She and Knope are standing very close to each other,"
Parks and Recreation
"and any time you see two women standing very close to each other..."
Parks and Recreation
"Oh, no. No, don't say it. ... you immediately assume..."
Parks and Recreation
"to clear all of her guests tomorrow,"
Parks and Recreation
"If you think that you can drag me and my friend through the mud,"
Parks and Recreation
"then you've got... Yes, I'll hold."
Parks and Recreation
"- What happened? - Got a call"
Parks and Recreation
"from some panicky morning joggers."
Parks and Recreation
"Apparently, Sanitation didn't empty this dumpster."
Parks and Recreation
"To the raccoons' delight."
Parks and Recreation
"I thought raccoons were supposed to be nocturnal."
Parks and Recreation
""Bring a case of...""
Parks and Recreation
"Yeah, this one's our fault, Ron, and we will take care of this for you."
Parks and Recreation
"Okay, good, because I have to run a public forum,"
Parks and Recreation
"supervise the maintenance crews, and teach crafts at the senior center."
Parks and Recreation
"Simultaneously."
Parks and Recreation
"Joan, I just wanted to say thank you for letting me be on your show."
Parks and Recreation
"I'm really happy that I have the chance to clear my name."
Parks and Recreation
"And in five, Joan."
Parks and Recreation
"You've got it wrong."
Parks and Recreation
"Sex. Drugs, possibly. Rock and Roll?"
Parks and Recreation
"We'll find out, on Pawnee Today's exclusive interview"
Parks and Recreation
"with the woman at the center of the Dexhart sex scandal,"
Parks and Recreation
"Joan, I spoke with Councilman Dexhart"
Parks and Recreation
"for the first time that night."
Parks and Recreation
"We met for about 15 minutes, and then I went home, alone,"
Parks and Recreation
"You should be grilling Councilman Dexhart."
Parks and Recreation
"You know what? That's a really good idea. Let's bring him out!"
Parks and Recreation
"Why didn't you tell me he was gonna be here?"
Parks and Recreation
"I thought it'd be more exciting!"
Parks and Recreation
"You look great."
Parks and Recreation
"It's like I'm invisible."
Parks and Recreation
"I found a sandwich in one of your parks,"
Parks and Recreation
"and I want to know why it didn't have mayonnaise."
Parks and Recreation
"What's so funny? Oh."
Parks and Recreation
"I'm not worried about swine flu."
Parks and Recreation
"I already have the swine flu. I'm worried about the turtle flu."
Parks and Recreation
"Turtle flu."
Parks and Recreation
"Turtle flu."
Parks and Recreation
"Joan, this whole Pawnee Sun story is "gotcha journalism" at its worst."
Parks and Recreation
"We do not have a private life!"
Parks and Recreation
"The fact is, we never slept together,"
Parks and Recreation
"and if we did, you would have proof,"
Parks and Recreation
"Councilman?"
Parks and Recreation
"What? That is a total lie."
Parks and Recreation
"You've never seen my butt. What are you talking about?"
Parks and Recreation
"He has never seen my butt."
Parks and Recreation
"Fine."
Parks and Recreation
"Here, Joan. Why don't you look for yourself?"
Parks and Recreation
"There's no mole. There is no mole."
Parks and Recreation
"This exclusive story, there is no mole on Miss Knope!"
Parks and Recreation
"I can't believe it's come to this. This is utterly humiliating."
Parks and Recreation
"Thank you. However, I have no plans to resign."
Parks and Recreation
"I thought you did great."
Parks and Recreation
"When you get all feisty like that, it gets my heart racing."
Parks and Recreation
"You want your ticket back?"
Parks and Recreation
"There's a lot of ways we could handle that."
Parks and Recreation
"Oh! Oh! That's..."
Parks and Recreation
"Aw! Honey! Thanks, Mom."
Parks and Recreation
"Oh, God! Is something wrong with the tree?"
Parks and Recreation
"Okay, everybody. Count down."
Parks and Recreation
"Five! Four! Five! Four!"
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"Three! Two! Three! Two!"
Parks and Recreation
"You think Winston Churchill ever had to pull his pants down and show his butt?"
Parks and Recreation
"Now, could he have? Well, maybe not towards the end of his life,"
Parks and Recreation
"Because he loved his job."
Parks and Recreation
"Dude! You remembered me complaining about my computer bag!"
Parks and Recreation
"Do you like it?"
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"Yeah, it's perfect."
Parks and Recreation
"It's way better than the gift that I got you. It's Pacers tickets."
Parks and Recreation
"Oh! They're not even good seats! Ugh."
Parks and Recreation
"This is awesome!"
Parks and Recreation
"I actually got you a second gift."
Parks and Recreation
"You don't have to come to this game with me."
Parks and Recreation
"You don't have to."
Parks and Recreation
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