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Clips from The Big Bang Theory - The Pork Chop Indeterminacy (S01E01)

"Excuse me while I go tell Missy the good news."
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"- Hey. - Hi, Penny, how's it going?"
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"That guy Mike that you were dating, is that still going on?"
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"- Pretty much, why? - Just catching up."
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"By the way, may I speak to Missy, please?"
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"Of course."
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"Hi, Leonard, what's up?"
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"Well, since you're leaving, I was wondering if you'd like to go to dinner with me."
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"That's so sweet. But no, thanks."
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"Oh."
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"- Do you have other plans or--? - No."
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"All right."
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"- Enjoy the rest of your evening. - Thanks, I'll see you."
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"Um, here's something we didn't anticipate."
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"- What do you want, Howard? - I'm fine. Thanks for asking."
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"Missy."
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"- Hi, Howard. - The Amazing Howard."
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"- Do you like magic? - Not really, no."
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"Then you are in for a treat."
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"Behold, an ordinary cane."
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"Ta-da."
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"No."
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"Apprec--"
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"Appre--"
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"Uh-oh."
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"Oh, honey, is your medication wearing off?"
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"Well, hi, cutie pie. I was hoping you'd show up."
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"We had a dog who made a noise like that."
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"Had to put him down."
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"Any news you want me to pass along to Mom?"
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"Well, she might be interested to know that I've refocused my research..."
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"...from bosonic string theory to heterotic string theory."
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"Yeah, I'll just tell her you said, "Hey.""
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"Okay. Well, it was pleasant seeing you."
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"Other than that business with my testicles."
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"Come on, Shelly."
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"I want you to know I'm very proud of you."
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"You tell people I'm a rocket scientist?"
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"- Well, yeah. - I'm a theoretical physicist."
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"- What's the difference? - What's the difference?"
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"- Goodbye, Shelly. - My God."
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"Why don't you just tell them that I'm a toll taker at the Golden Gate Bridge?"
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"I didn't say you were. I just said she was cute."
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"- You two have to back off. - Why should I back off? You back off."
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"You donate eggs. We will place them in cryogenic storage."
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"Thank you, I apprec--"
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"Oh, I don't think so. Shelly doesn't like company."
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"Look, you're here, and we have plenty of room."
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"So anyway, we're 8 years old..."
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"Yep, I had to go through the entire second grade..."
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"Hello, Missy."
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"Hey, guess what."
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"In other words, if you wonder, wonder who wrote the book of love..."
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"A hog? You have a two-cylinder scooter with a basket in the front."
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"But since then, we've pretty much gone our own separate ways."
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"Whatever."
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"You stop it. You stop it, I say."
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"Nothing personal. I'd prefer my niece or nephew..."
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"Even as a little boy, he'd send his imaginary friends home at the end of the day."
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"They were not friends. They were imaginary colleagues."
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"Not your eyebrows?"
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"I've been accepted as a test subject for a drug..."
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"...and Sheldon converts my Easy-Bake Oven to some kind of high-powered furnace."
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"- Oh, good for you, Raj. - Yes, I'm very hopeful."
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"Yes, we shared a uterus for nine months."
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"You still have to wear a helmet."
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"The lndian sex book."
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"I'm gonna settle this right now."
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"- You're out too, by the way. - Say what?"
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"- You have to do something about it. - Why?"
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"That's just classic."
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"Next thing you know, my eyebrows are gone."
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"I don't understand."
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"- Have you ever heard of the Kama Sutra? - The sex book."
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"...to overcome pathological shyness."
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"Because she's your sister."
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"He's the man of his family. You have to respect his wishes."
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"Neither of you are good enough for my sister."
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"Who are you to decide that?"
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"I needed a place to fire ceramic semiconductor substrates..."
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"Anyway, I make those little muffins they give you. There's a big flash."
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"Made necessary by her insistence on going into my room."
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"...for homemade integrated circuits."
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"He was trying to build some sort of armed robot to keep me out of his room."
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