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Clips from Family Guy - Tom Tucker: The Man and His Dream (S10E10)

"My body was immediately taken to a Hollywood hospital,"
Family Guy
"Her life force was infused into me, bringing me back from the dead."
Family Guy
"TOM: What happened to the girl?"
Family Guy
"WOODS: I threw her out a car window at Nora Ephron."
Family Guy
"- (GRUNTS) - Stop making Jack Nicholson a homo!"
Family Guy
"- You're thinking of Nancy Meyers! - WOODS: You're the same thing!"
Family Guy
"Wow. That's amazing."
Family Guy
"I don't get it. Why would a big shot like you want me for an agent?"
Family Guy
"Because you're an up-and-comer, because you're hungry."
Family Guy
"I am hungry."
Family Guy
"But you put me and my family through a lot of crap over the years."
Family Guy
"- Why would I want to help you? - Well, because you're my agent."
Family Guy
"Oh, my God, you're right! lam!"
Family Guy
"Hey, hold on now. You came out here to be my agent."
Family Guy
"Tom, relax, I can take care of you both."
Family Guy
"Peter, I need you to drop Stewie offat day care,"
Family Guy
"and then shred this big stack of old bank statements."
Family Guy
"You got it, Lois."
Family Guy
"Is he always this quiet?"
Family Guy
"So, Kevin made another attempt on his life last night."
Family Guy
"He drank two bottles of dish soap."
Family Guy
"You know, everyone said, "Don't smoke during your pregnancy,""
Family Guy
"That's nice. Well, I should go, Lois."
Family Guy
"Yeah, I should probably get going myself."
Family Guy
"What? What is it, Lois?"
Family Guy
"That girl over there, that's Chris' girlfriend!"
Family Guy
"Hey, you know, she kind of looks like you, Lois."
Family Guy
"You think she looks like me, too?"
Family Guy
"Oh, my God. l'm starting to think Brian was right."
Family Guy
"That girl is nothing but trouble."
Family Guy
"All right, gentlemen. So, what do you got for my client?"
Family Guy
"to do a serviceable job in a supporting role that Jeremy Irons,"
Family Guy
"Well, we'd need to see a script first."
Family Guy
"Looks good. What do you think, James?"
Family Guy
"- I like it. - Good. I say we move on this."
Family Guy
"All right, then, let's negotiate. We want everything."
Family Guy
"- We'll give you nothing. - We want something."
Family Guy
"(PHONE RINGING)"
Family Guy
"(ON VOICEMAIL) This is Peter Griffin, famous agent,"
Family Guy
"but you can call me PG-13."
Family Guy
"- Ba-boom! Leave a message. - (BEEP)"
Family Guy
"Hi, Peter, it's Tom. Just trying to reach you again."
Family Guy
"And, you know, about that meeting you set up with me and Heath Ledger,"
Family Guy
"he never showed."
Family Guy
"Maybe I was at the wrong Panda Express, but I... Anyway, call me back."
Family Guy
"Hey, listen, thanks for inviting me to lunch, Peter."
Family Guy
"And you're on in four, three, two..."
Family Guy
""Peter Griffin drops Tom Tucker as a client.""
Family Guy
"You're dropping me as a client?"
Family Guy
"Yeah, I just heard it on the news."
Family Guy
"How could you do this?"
Family Guy
"Look, it's a whole different landscape out here since Thursday."
Family Guy
"Everything's on computers now."
Family Guy
"Peter, I left a very good job for this!"
Family Guy
"You're the only reason I came back out here!"
Family Guy
"I wish I could help you, Tom, but this is coming from upstairs."
Family Guy
"Tom, I have to go now."
Family Guy
"(VIBRATING)"
Family Guy
"Hello?"
Family Guy
"- Peter, it's me, Woodsy! I need a favor. - (POP MUSIC PLAYING)"
Family Guy
"and I can't decide whether to take her home"
Family Guy
"What? Look, I'm texting you her picture. Just tell me if you think she's hot enough."
Family Guy
"(BEEPING)"
Family Guy
"Is she hot or not?"
Family Guy
"- I guess. - Okay, good, great."
Family Guy
"So clear out of your apartment, we're gonna be there in 15."
Family Guy
"What? l'm sleeping. Why can't you bring her to your place?"
Family Guy
"I don't know, man. lt's my aunt's daughter. lt's weird."
Family Guy
"Chris, honey, there's something I want to talk to you about."
Family Guy
"Well, honey, I saw her making out with another boy."
Family Guy
"Was she kissing with her mouth, or her pants-mouth?"
Family Guy
"Chris, I can't believe you knew about this! That's terrible!"
Family Guy
"Why would you even date a girl like that?"
Family Guy
"Well, because I thought she'd be like you."
Family Guy
"He's a complete train wreck, and you put up with him."
Family Guy
"And l'm no prize myself."
Family Guy
"So, I guess I figured ifl don't find a girl just like you,"
Family Guy
"Oh, Chris, of course you'll find someone. And you are a prize."
Family Guy
"You're a handsome, kind-hearted young man,"
Family Guy
"and any girl would be lucky to have you in her life."
Family Guy
"- You really think so? - Of course I do, sweetheart."
Family Guy
"Now l'm gonna take the child filter off the computer,"
Family Guy
"and I want you to have a fun night."
Family Guy
"Peter, you've pitched me dozens of projects,"
Family Guy
"and all of them involve me playing a hayride driver."
Family Guy
"I don't know, I just see you doing that."
Family Guy
"You know, this year, it's vampires, next year, it's hay."
Family Guy
"These things go in cycles."
Family Guy
"Peter, this is probably a good time to fire you."
Family Guy
"I need a drugs guy, a girls guy, a fitness guy,"
Family Guy
"But you're my only client! Without you, l'm ruined!"
Family Guy
"Well, that's show business."
Family Guy
"Hello? Grimace from McDonald's? Sorry, Peter, I got to take this."
Family Guy
"(KNOCKING ON DOOR)"
Family Guy
"- Hey, Tom. How you doing? - What do you want?"
Family Guy
"James Woods fired me."
Family Guy
"Listen, l've been thinking. I was a real jerk to you."
Family Guy
"I dragged you out here, only to dump you when you needed me the most."
Family Guy
"I guess what l'm saying is I'm really sorry about everything."
Family Guy
"I quit my job, I left everything behind to come out here."
Family Guy
"I know, but I was just trying to help. I never wanted to let you down."
Family Guy
"Well, I suppose your only crime is that you believed in me."
Family Guy
"And then stopped believing in me rather abruptly."
Family Guy
"So what do you say? You ready to go back to where we both belong?"
Family Guy
"What is that? A balloon running out ofair?"
Family Guy
"Yeah, see, I was hoping you would know."
Family Guy
"It's his cousin's anus."
Family Guy
"And I'm Joyce Kinney."
Family Guy
"Tom, I think I speak for all of us here at Channel Five News"
Family Guy
"when I say it's good to ha ve you back here at half your original salary."
Family Guy
"Still twice yours, Joyce."
Family Guy
"Our top story tonight, 0uahog's first organic supermarket opens this weekend."
Family Guy
"like they did the Barnes A'! Noble upstairs coffee bar, which they had to close."
Family Guy
"Well, l'm just happy Tom got his job back."
Family Guy
"But l'm sorry I missed meeting your girlfriend, Chris."
Family Guy
"That's okay, Dad."
Family Guy
"Yeah, Chris, I never asked you."
Family Guy
"Thanks for buying me these clothes, Glenn."
Family Guy
"You're welcome. And you're dismissed."
Family Guy
"Good evening, I'm Tom Tucker, and the reason I'm wearing this mask"
Family Guy
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