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Clips from Family Guy - Tom Tucker: The Man and His Dream (S10E10)

"- I'll be your agent. - You?"
Family Guy
"Yeah, l've seen every episode of Entourage."
Family Guy
"All you need is some fake hair"
Family Guy
"And a bunch of hobbits hanging around you."
Family Guy
"You're on in five minutes, Mr. Tucker."
Family Guy
"You don't belong here. You're better than this."
Family Guy
"In a few minutes, I've got to be on camera in front of 800 people."
Family Guy
"Good evening, Quahog. I'm Tom Tucker. Our top story tonight,"
Family Guy
"of a cast-iron, oak-handled Colonial bed sheet warmer,"
Family Guy
"Okay, there it is."
Family Guy
"and then put the object between the sheets."
Family Guy
"It was very cold back then."
Family Guy
"And it would warm the sheets."
Family Guy
"And I think that's the gist of it."
Family Guy
"Wait, Peter! Don't go!"
Family Guy
"You betcha. But I have to say, I thought you'd drive a fancier car."
Family Guy
"What? Why?"
Family Guy
"Well, aren't you the Peter Griffin of Peter Griffin Cadillac?"
Family Guy
"we believe in three things, fair dealing, family, and friendship."
Family Guy
"I've lived in Quahog my whole life. I love it here."
Family Guy
"Scumbag."
Family Guy
"All right, Lois, remember to feed the cat, and remember to get a cat."
Family Guy
"and l'm gonna help him make it happen."
Family Guy
"You see, everybody needs just one person to believe in their dreams"
Family Guy
"so they can spread their wings and fly."
Family Guy
"Dad, can I have money for dance classes?"
Family Guy
"Sit down, you dumpy bread loaf. I'd pay to see you not dance."
Family Guy
"- When will you be back? - I don't know."
Family Guy
"I believe in that boy."
Family Guy
"- I don't want to dance! - You'll dance!"
Family Guy
"Boy, I don't know, Peter, being back out here makes me kind of nervous."
Family Guy
"Maybe this was all a mistake."
Family Guy
"Don't be silly, Tom. You're an actor, and this is where you belong."
Family Guy
"Now, let's take some of this complimentary luggage and get going."
Family Guy
"- Well, so, how do we do this? - You do nothing."
Family Guy
"till he gets you an acting job."
Family Guy
"Yes? Can I help you?"
Family Guy
"Oh, um, okay. Well, do you have any experience handling bags?"
Family Guy
"All right, kid, you want to make it in showbiz or don't you?"
Family Guy
"(BOTH GRUNT)"
Family Guy
"I thought the airport was Hollywood."
Family Guy
"Hey, Mom, I want you to meet my new girlfriend."
Family Guy
"New girlfriend?"
Family Guy
"Yeah, you remember that girl Lindsey I told you about?"
Family Guy
"Well, I asked her out, and now we are dating."
Family Guy
"Lindsey, this is my mom, my little brother Stewie and my dog Brian."
Family Guy
"Hey."
Family Guy
"Cameron Diaz, that's who. You are gorgeous!"
Family Guy
"Well, she's awful pretty. I know that, Mom."
Family Guy
"Are you kidding me? Are they not seeing this?"
Family Guy
"I know, it's kind of creepy. It's almost like he's dating Lois."
Family Guy
"Yeah. Looks like somebody's getting a little Oedipussy."
Family Guy
"- Can we say that? - Just did."
Family Guy
"Than getting inspired by the names on the Hollywood Walk of Fame?"
Family Guy
"Tilson Jennings, Vilma Bánky."
Family Guy
"There's Chester Conklin, Ona Munson."
Family Guy
"Ralph Staub, Henry B. Walthall."
Family Guy
"(MELLOW MUSIC PLAYING)"
Family Guy
"All the biggest Hollywood players eat here,"
Family Guy
"That's why I got these old Hollywood Jew glasses."
Family Guy
"Waiter! Oh, waiter!"
Family Guy
"Yes, I will have the Big and Fancy,"
Family Guy
"And my client here will have a bottle of your best steak."
Family Guy
"Right away, sir."
Family Guy
"Peter, l'm not sure what any of this has to do with getting me acting jobs."
Family Guy
"- Tom, who's the agent here? - You are."
Family Guy
"- And who is the actor? - Well, I am."
Family Guy
"Excuse me, I couldn't help but notice your glasses, your poor table manners,"
Family Guy
"and your huge sense of entitlement."
Family Guy
"You've got 10 seconds to dazzle me. Go!"
Family Guy
"This is your man."
Family Guy
"Show up here at 10:00 a.m. tomorrow."
Family Guy
"Wow, Peter, I can't believe it!"
Family Guy
"Hey, don't be so surprised. I've been pounding the pavement for you, buddy."
Family Guy
"I even gave out all my business cards."
Family Guy
"Call me! Call me! Call me! Call me! Call me! Call me! Call me!"
Family Guy
"You know, Lindsey, I just want to say how nice it is"
Family Guy
"to have such a beautiful young woman in our home."
Family Guy
"(LAUGHING) Who didn't, right? So, what are you two up to tonight?"
Family Guy
"Well, we really haven't decided yet."
Family Guy
"Eh, I'll think of something while l'm taking a chick dump in your parents' bathroom."
Family Guy
"And I will hold your purse."
Family Guy
"Good for Chris, huh? He picked a peach, didn't he?"
Family Guy
"Didn't he pick a peach, Brian?"
Family Guy
"What's not to know, she's terrific."
Family Guy
"Lois, don't you think maybe part of the reason you like Lindsey"
Family Guy
"could be because she looks so much like you?"
Family Guy
"(LAUGHS) What? What are you talking about?"
Family Guy
"Come on, she's clearly an awful person."
Family Guy
"Oh, I see what's going on here, you're jealous."
Family Guy
"All you've got is a worn-out rope toy"
Family Guy
"And that squirrel who comes by once a day to taunt you."
Family Guy
"(LEAVES RUSTLING)"
Family Guy
"You don't belong there! Don't you touch anything!"
Family Guy
"I told you all this yesterday!"
Family Guy
"ANNOUNCER: We now return to "NCIS.""
Family Guy
"Oh, here it is. Here comes my part."
Family Guy
"Good evening, I'm Ed Manzelli. What can I do for you?"
Family Guy
"I'm looking for a guy who used to work here."
Family Guy
"Name's Mario. Got any idea where he could be?"
Family Guy
"That's the end of my line. Your line, "NCIS.""
Family Guy
"You son of a bitch, you made me feel again."
Family Guy
"You know, Peter, I just want to thank you for all you've done for me."
Family Guy
"- (ON INTERCOM) Mr. Griffin? - Yes, Sandra?"
Family Guy
"What is it, Sandra?"
Family Guy
"There's a man here to see you."
Family Guy
"He says he wants to talk to you about being his agent."
Family Guy
"Really? Well, then, by all means, send him in!"
Family Guy
"Hey, knucklebutts!"
Family Guy
"(STAMMERS) But I don't understand!"
Family Guy
"I thought you were dead!"
Family Guy
"- Well, (CHUCKLES) I'm not. - I don't believe you."
Family Guy
"God, is that true? God?"
Family Guy
"God, are you there?"
Family Guy
"(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING ON HEADPHONES)"
Family Guy
"Come on, don't touch yourself. You're God."
Family Guy
"Diane Simmons had just stabbed you in the back with a knife."
Family Guy
"Yeah! How the hell did you come back to life?"
Family Guy
"We got a celebrity here! I repeat, this is not a normal dead person!"
Family Guy
"This is a celebrity!"
Family Guy
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