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Clips from American Dad! - 1600 Candles (S04E04)

"# I got a feeling that it's gonna be a wonderful day #"
American Dad!
"Roger, look what I bought! It's a hamster ball, but I modified it."
American Dad!
"I like spying."
American Dad!
"Yup, in my culture, 1600 is the most important birthday of all. And mine's shapin' up to be-"
American Dad!
"Oh, no chance. I gotta go brush and style this bad boy."
American Dad!
"Okay, freak show's over. Let's get back to my birthday."
American Dad!
"Where are you guys going? Come back!"
American Dad!
"[Gurgling Sigh]"
American Dad!
"Remember I had that bumper sticker on the car for a while?"
American Dad!
"What do you mean, every month?"
American Dad!
"- I'm not using these! I'm never using these! - [Together] No!"
American Dad!
"This is as big as they're gonna get?"
American Dad!
"Who's the father? Touching your face all day with your greasy hands?"
American Dad!
"He's gonna have man breath, and his poops won't smell good anymore."
American Dad!
"We can finally sit down and discuss Ordinary People."
American Dad!
"There's nothing we can do."
American Dad!
"Fellows, how's the sloppy joes today?"
American Dad!
"It's a package. Speaking of packages, mine's got a hair on it."
American Dad!
"Sit down and tell us all about it."
American Dad!
"- Go on. - Meet me at Macy's tomorrow, Young Petites."
American Dad!
"We're goin' dress shoppin'."
American Dad!
"- Uhh! I got a look in mind for you. - Okay."
American Dad!
"- Still classified? - Yes."
American Dad!
"I brought brownies."
American Dad!
"Brownies!"
American Dad!
"[Grunts] My little deep sleeper."
American Dad!
"I'm a goddamn toddler!"
American Dad!
"- They must have given me too much. - Francine, how could you?"
American Dad!
"- Steve, cartoons! - Of my-"
American Dad!
"Oh, my God! I'm supposed to meet Lisa at the mall to buy her a dress for the dance!"
American Dad!
"This is my shot! What am I gonna do?"
American Dad!
"- [Bell Dings] - You want me to come with you?"
American Dad!
"- I said four! - Oh, I'm sorry. I hit three."
American Dad!
"You've got string-bean legs. I want to bite 'em. Oh, I want to bite 'em!"
American Dad!
"[Sighs]"
American Dad!
"[Groans]"
American Dad!
"I don't know what's going on, if you're Steve's nephew or whatever."
American Dad!
"But when you see him, do me a favor. Tell him he blew it."
American Dad!
"Lisa, no! It's me! I swear!"
American Dad!
"Okay. I guess we'll just have to prepare ourselves for puberty."
American Dad!
"Mary Tyler Moore is such an icy bitch in this. It's fantastic."
American Dad!
"- ## [TV] - I'm not interested in-Whoa."
American Dad!
"I was just reading this article about a bubble man."
American Dad!
"I'll have to think of something- something clever and easy to explain."
American Dad!
"I've been sent back in time 80 years by the Imperial Order..."
American Dad!
"Horrible time, puberty. Years of sadness, rejection and confusion."
American Dad!
"One day when I was showering after gym class..."
American Dad!
"and shove my face to the floor!"
American Dad!
"Yeah, I know."
American Dad!
"- What about this girl? Did this girl walk in on it? - Stan, not now."
American Dad!
"Well, that's it."
American Dad!
"Come on, l-24!"
American Dad!
"Plus there's shuffleboard, cards."
American Dad!
"Someone's niece came in and played the harp. It was wonderful."
American Dad!
"Steve, that's crazy. We're coming down there with a shot."
American Dad!
"You come near me with that shot, and I'll swallow the whole medicine cabinet-"
American Dad!
"- What are we gonna do? - [Ringing]"
American Dad!
"No. No, Steve's not here."
American Dad!
"- [Beeps Off] - Come on, Francine. I know how we can get Steve back."
American Dad!
"- [Beeps Off] - Francine, remind me I'm fighting the bubble man on Thursday."
American Dad!
"- You're fighting the poetry guy on Thursday. - Let's see if we can move it."
American Dad!
"[Chattering, Shouting]"
American Dad!
"- Oh, it stinks in here! - Stan!"
American Dad!
"Oh! It's just so unexpected. I mean, the outside is so nicely landscaped."
American Dad!
"We were only thinking of ourselves- Oh, now I smell it!"
American Dad!
"- [Shouts] - [Needle Sticks]"
American Dad!
"# For our lives to be over ##"
American Dad!
"Hey, everyone! Check it out!"
American Dad!
"## [Man Singing, Indistinct]"
American Dad!
"Yeah, you."
American Dad!
"I hate Steve so much."
American Dad!
"#The sun in the sky has a smile on his face #"
American Dad!
"Uh-huh. That's a thing."
American Dad!
"Look at them down there planning my birthday party."
American Dad!
"Yup, I'm turnin' 1600."
American Dad!
"The big one-six-double bagel."
American Dad!
"My fanny is so high in the air right now."
American Dad!
"Hi. I'd like to rent a bouncy castle and a sober clown for my friend Roger this Saturday."
American Dad!
"Well, do you have the number of someone who does have a sober clown?"
American Dad!
"No, sir. I don't believe I am asking for the moon."
American Dad!
"Behold, it is here! My first pube!"
American Dad!
"Fire!"
American Dad!
"- Oh, God, I'm gonna be sick! - I finally hit puberty!"
American Dad!
"Honey, that's wonderful."
American Dad!
"- We're so... happy for you. - Yes, very happy. Now go ahead and pull up your pants."
American Dad!
"Francine, the frosting!"
American Dad!
"- Hello? Clown dispatcher? - [Dial Tone]"
American Dad!
"Oh, man! Oh, this is bad. L-l- I can't deal with this."
American Dad!
"- Puberty. - Our worst nightmare!"
American Dad!
"The only thing worse than a child going through puberty..."
American Dad!
"is being the parent of a child going through puberty."
American Dad!
"Nobody honked."
American Dad!
"- What are you doing? - I can't do it again, man. I'm leavin'."
American Dad!
"I'm going to- I don't know- my mom's, my sister's."
American Dad!
"Hell, I'll even go back to prison! I don't care."
American Dad!
"- Look, maybe it won't be so bad. We got through Hayley's puberty. - Barely."
American Dad!
"Honey, that's the glory of being a woman."
American Dad!
"Aah!"
American Dad!
"[Crying]"
American Dad!
"I'm hideous!"
American Dad!
"- Honey, you can't even see it. - It's pretty."
American Dad!
"Whoa! Hayley, your cheek's pregnant."
American Dad!
"- [Hayley Shouts] - Yaah!"
American Dad!
"[Screams]"
American Dad!
"I'm not ready for Steve to make the change."
American Dad!
"I wish he could just stay 14 a little while longer."
American Dad!
"Not me. I want him to skip over puberty and jump right to 21..."
American Dad!
"so the two of us can go have a shot and a shave."
American Dad!
"I'm tired of talking to the kid about that movie and just getting a blank stare."
American Dad!
"Hey, 'rental units. I cleaned all the kid crap from my room."
American Dad!
"I'm gonna dump it then go for a jog. You know, clear my head."
American Dad!
"- It's a little chilly out. Wear a sweater. - Hey!"
American Dad!
"You're my mother, not my thermometer!"
American Dad!
"Stan, we have to do something!"
American Dad!
"Sure, our bellies are warm now, but soon it will be dark..."
American Dad!
"and then the crows will come."
American Dad!
"- Sloppy, I trust. - Whoa!"
American Dad!
"Don't itemize, boys. Take it all in."
American Dad!
"[Speaking Japanese]"
American Dad!
"- What do you want, dweeb? - Oh, no!"
American Dad!
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