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Clips from NewsRadio - Jackass Junior High (S04E04)

"Anyway, I understand you're looking for a voice-over person..."
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"to do the new Crazy Eric's Electronics ads."
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"Mark Davis. The guy that does all the crazy voices."
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"these ads are supposed to be comedic, and so we need somebody who can do funny voices."
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"[ Irish Accent ] Oh, so it's funny voices you're in the market for now, is it?"
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"I said, couldn't I have a shot at it?"
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"I mean, Bill, you're one of the best voice-over men in the business."
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"- I'm not? - No."
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"[ Imitating Charlton Heston ] I've been told I'm quite a gifted mimic."
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"- By whom? - Never mind."
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"Okay, squeeze in. Squeeze in. [ Dave Continues, Indistinct ]"
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"Make room. Why don't you go ahead and push all the way up to the desk there."
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"His diet consists of black coffee and sarcasm."
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"Now this one's quite a character."
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"Matthew, what are you doing?"
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"Look, why don't you take five and get ready for the next tour to come back in?"
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"Okay, here I am. Matthew, what the--"
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"No, it isn't. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah."
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"It entitles us to a whopping tax break,"
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"Oh, well, that surprised me too, Dave, but apparently WNYX was founded in 1893, so--"
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"Well, it's a typo. It--"
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"Oh. Well, I guess they didn't have very good typewriters back in the 1800s."
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"And the microphone, as we all know-- Oh, oh, listen to this."
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"- Uh, excuse me. - Uh, yeah, question."
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"Why are the newspeople in this glass booth?"
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"Also, it helps keep their vocal pipes clean. Yes, it does."
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"No, it doesn't. It's for soundproofing."
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"No, it doesn't. Actually, it kind of does."
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"I could turn that elevator into a really awesome thrill ride."
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"No, not yet, not yet. Oh, hey, Walt."
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"Any luck? No."
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"Not a single person asked to have their picture taken with Mikey the Microphone."
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"Oh, well, maybe they don't know you're supposed to be a microphone."
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"Where-- Where did we get this outfit, Joe?"
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"A buddy of mine works at adult video conventions."
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"I made a few minor alterations."
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"Well, the last time I checked."
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"Granted, that was about three months ago, so actually-- Okay."
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"So why does a weird guy from Publicity feel that it's perfectly acceptable..."
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"to spend half the day scratching himself in plain view of my desk?"
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"- Oh. - You know, and it's not just him. It's everyone."
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"- I'm not one of the guys. - Well, nobody's treating you like one of the guys."
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"Lisa, dude, check this out."
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"Let me look. Let me look."
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"Dave, you're just as bad as the rest of them."
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"Oh, I'm-- Oh, I'm sorry. That is rude. You wanna have a look?"
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"Excuse me, that's not what we were doing."
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"Yeah."
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"Oh, I'm sorry. If I knew it was a poster of a half-naked chick--"
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"Time, Lisa. Turn's up. Hand 'em over."
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"Well, hello there."
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"[ Imitating Bill Clinton ] Whoa! Tell Madeleine Albright she's got competition."
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"Is something, uh-- something wrong with your throat, Bill?"
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"I was doing an impression."
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"What, Johnny Carson? No, Muhammad Ali? Or--"
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"Joking around. You know, being funny."
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"Hey, Uncle Jimmy, the tour group's getting a little restless."
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"Hey, maybe you forgot to turn yourself on. People couldn't hear you."
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"Maybe people couldn't hear you, Bill."
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"Next time try speaking into me. [ All Laughing ]"
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"The microphone. All right. Whoo!"
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"Here is our coffeemaker."
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"You will notice some bullet holes."
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"That's because this is the last coffeemaker that Bonnie and Clyde used before they died."
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"And over here we've got a box of doughnuts left over from the California Gold Rush of 1849."
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"Ho, dogie! Looks like I done struck it rich there."
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"- Howdy, pardner. - Howdy, Sheriff James."
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"Why does a radio station have a sheriff?"
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"Yeah, I remember when I had my first beer, you little snot."
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"Mr. James, I hear Big Bad Bart's a-comin' up to the 14th floor."
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"Bad Bart? I ain't afeard of him."
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"But he's the quickest draw in these here territories."
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"Isn't that right, Deputy Dave? My name is not Deputy Dave."
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"- Well, if it isn't Sheriff James. - Bad Bart!"
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"It ain't big enough for the two of us."
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"[ Man ] Excuse me. Is this the radio station where Howard Stern works?"
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"Actually, we're an all-news format. Mostly A.M."
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"You all right, dude? Caps go off okay? Oh, yeah, great."
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"Matthew, you okay? Yeah, I just-- I think somebody stepped on my mouth."
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"Can I look at it when you're done with it? As soon as Lisa's done."
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"How come no one thinks I'm funny?"
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"Prove it."
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"See? Made you laugh."
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"Joe, put your shirt on."
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"Relax, dude, it's hot in here."
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"This is an office. Hey, lighten up! Can't a guy relax a little?"
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"- Anybody need a cool one? - Right here, Jackson."
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"Lisa, tall frosty one? No, thanks."
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"I just came in here to tell you guys that I went down to the temp agency downstairs,"
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"- Okay, Cheryl, you wanna come inside and meet the others? - Great."
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"Okay, I have to warn you it's a little bit like a frat house in here."
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"Oh, that's all right. I have brothers."
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"Guys, I'd like you to meet Cheryl."
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"A pleasure to make your acquaintance, Cheryl. Good afternoon. Walter."
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"A thousand thank yous for filling in on such short notice."
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"Oh, I don't mind at all."
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"The pleasure is ours."
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"Okay, fine."
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"Cheryl, why don't I show you where you're gonna be working."
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"Nice meeting you. [ Belches ]"
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"It's a beautiful burp by a beautiful lady."
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"I get a little gassy at lunchtime sometimes."
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"The girls downstairs already warned me what a crazy bunch of guys you are up here."
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"I mean, do I look like a guy? Do I talk like a guy?"
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"Do I act like a guy? Have you ever met a guy named Lisa?"
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"Women, huh?"
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"Oh, um, Bill, have you met Mark Davis?"
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"- Mark-- - Mark Davis, the man of a thousand crazy voices."
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"A thousand and one actually. Oh, you have something right there."
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"No, Bill, he-- he knows. He was just teasing you."
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"Oh, I didn't get that at all."
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"Had a little trouble with the new WNYX souvenir shop."
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"They just-- They don't look like Joe."
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"- Oh, that's a tough break. - Also, nobody seems to know who Joe Garrelli is, so--"
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"[ Imitating Several Voices ] It's fantastic. It's a-terrific."
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"It's the best cotton-pickin' thing ever."
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"What is it? It's the big back-to-summer sale at Crazy Eric's!"
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"Whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo! Prices so low..."
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"I can't say them on the radio."
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"I'm dying to save money there."
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