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Clips from Friends - The One with the Birthing Video (S08E08)

"- Thank you. See you guys later. - Okay."
Friends
"That is one lucky to-go cup of coffee."
Friends
"Okay."
Friends
"She's been away all week visiting parents, but she'll be cool."
Friends
"She even got the baby a tiny T-shirt that says, "Fossils are my friends.""
Friends
"Ugh, Monica, grow up."
Friends
"- What do you got behind your back? - Nothing."
Friends
"I know you've been depressed lately, so I brought someone to cheer you up."
Friends
"No, I'm not sleeping with your friend Jane again."
Friends
"We are gonna have so much fun! Yes we are!"
Friends
"Girl-on-girl porn?"
Friends
"Whoa, whoa, that's not pretty."
Friends
"I really miss her."
Friends
"Well, remember the first time you saw Jaws..."
Friends
"My mother was too busy planning her suicide to provide saltwater treats."
Friends
"Thank you."
Friends
"You're subdued."
Friends
"Oh, I've got big Valentine's plans."
Friends
"Oh, my Chinese food. I'll get my cash."
Friends
"I'll be watching TV if anybody needs me."
Friends
"[DOORBELL RINGS]"
Friends
"You know what? I'm gonna get in my sweats and eat this in bed."
Friends
"No. No."
Friends
"Happy Valentine's Day!"
Friends
"- How long has it been this time? - Ninety seconds."
Friends
"Why don't we get rid of the tape and pretend it never existed."
Friends
"- Oh, my God. - Poor Ross."
Friends
"...but for this he closes the drapes."
Friends
"Come on, seriously, you're not gonna make me watch this alone."
Friends
"- Aah! It's horrible! - I know, I know!"
Friends
"[BABY CRYING ON TV]"
Friends
"And look how happy the mom is now."
Friends
"With everything going on lately, I haven't exactly been the perfect boyfriend."
Friends
"That really sucks. Especially on Valentine's Day."
Friends
"Why not?"
Friends
"Someone from work too."
Friends
"I could never do that to the guy. We're friends."
Friends
"Is he a good guy?"
Friends
"- Oh! Hey, Rach! - Hi."
Friends
"RACHEL: Happy Valentine's Day! - You too!"
Friends
"Hey, so, uh, how's it going living over at Ross'?"
Friends
"It's good, except he makes us watch the Discovery Channel all day long."
Friends
"Did you know that something really boring..."
Friends
"...happened to someone really ugly in the Middle Ages?"
Friends
"- Bye. - Bye."
Friends
"Oh, honey."
Friends
"I wish you'd get over her. I hate seeing you like this."
Friends
"Is there anything I can do for you? Do you wanna look down my top?"
Friends
"Thanks. Maybe later."
Friends
"- Oh, Gunther, can I get a scone? - You want anything?"
Friends
"You know what I want? I want a lot of things."
Friends
"I wanna be with the woman I love on Valentine's Day!"
Friends
"I want her to love me back."
Friends
"And I want one moment of relief..."
Friends
"...from the gut-wrenching pain of knowing that's never gonna happen!"
Friends
"We have red bagels."
Friends
"So how does Mona feel about you and Rachel living together?"
Friends
"I'm on my way to tell her right now."
Friends
"She's been so supportive."
Friends
"Ugh, come on, Mona. Don't kiss ass."
Friends
"- So, uh, I'm gonna take off. - All right."
Friends
"Oh, shoot! Oh, shoot! Uh, Rachel wanted to see this tape."
Friends
"- What is it? - A video of my friend giving birth."
Friends
"- Could you bring it back to your apartment? - All right."
Friends
""Candy and Cookie"?"
Friends
"Yeah, Candy's the mother, Cookie's the daughter."
Friends
"The father's name is also Cookie."
Friends
"Why am I friends with these people?"
Friends
"Phoebe, come here. I wanna show you something in the bathroom."
Friends
"Just something I want Phoebe's opinion on for Valentine's Day."
Friends
"- You don't want my opinion? - Not really."
Friends
"Come on, I'm your older brother. Ask me."
Friends
"Oh, okay, big brother. Um..."
Friends
"Which one would make your little sister look hotter..."
Friends
"...so your best friend would want to do her?"
Friends
"The red one."
Friends
"[KNOCKING ON DOOR]"
Friends
"- Hey. - Mm."
Friends
"Right outside this door is a real, live, furry playmate."
Friends
"PHOEBE: Hee-hee! - Hey, a dog! Oh, hi!"
Friends
"Who, you gotta admit, looks a lot like Jane."
Friends
"This is the happiest dog in the world. I borrowed him from my friend Wendy."
Friends
"So you can keep him until he cheers you up. And he will cheer you up."
Friends
"Thanks so much, Pheebs."
Friends
"Oh, not that kind of fun."
Friends
"- Happy Valentine's! MONICA: Hey!"
Friends
"I'll be right out."
Friends
"I'm slipping into something a little less comfortable and a little more slutty."
Friends
""Candy and Cookie"?"
Friends
"Monica got me porn?"
Friends
"She really must love me!"
Friends
"[WOMAN ON TV MOANS]"
Friends
"MAN [ON TV]: Yeah, just relax. - I love you, St. Valentine."
Friends
"[WOMAN GROANING]"
Friends
"[WOMAN SCREAMS]"
Friends
"MAN: Now push! WOMAN: Unh!"
Friends
"Worst porn ever! Worst porn ever!"
Friends
"WOMAN: Oh, make it stop! - I am trying!"
Friends
"Get the ball. Ready? Get the ball!"
Friends
"You're cute, but you're not too smart."
Friends
"- Hi. - Hi."
Friends
"I accidentally packed these with my stuff."
Friends
"- Who is this? - That's, uh, Phoebe's friend's dog."
Friends
"I don't know his real name. I call him Mozzarella."
Friends
"Ohh, you are so cute. I wish I could play with you more, but I've gotta go to work."
Friends
"I hope I stop talking like this before my marketing meeting. Yes, I do."
Friends
"Bye-bye, Joey. Seriously, I can't stop it."
Friends
"Come here! Hey!"
Friends
"Hey. That's Rachel. She's the one who used to live here."
Friends
"Might as well be honest with you. We love her."
Friends
"But we can't have her. No."
Friends
"Hey, you understand, right? You're a guy."
Friends
"Well, you used to be."
Friends
"So, what do you think?"
Friends
"I've still got it."
Friends
"- Why did you get me this? - What is it?"
Friends
"It's yelling, bleeding, dilating."
Friends
"Is this the video of the baby being born? This is Phoebe's."
Friends
"Why were you even watching it?"
Friends
"I thought maybe you got me porn for Valentine's Day."
Friends
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