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Clips from Scrubs - My Malpractical Decision (S04E04)

Need you? Perry, please, I got this one.

"Need you? Perry, please, I got this one."

Scrubs

Are you Dr Dorian?

"Are you Dr Dorian?"

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the heart is like a big, inflatable house.

"the heart is like a big, inflatable house."

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or ventricles. Now, these ventricles or "rooms..."

"or ventricles. Now, these ventricles or "rooms...""

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Syncopy in severe LV systolic dysfunction is a risk of arrhythmia.

"Syncopy in severe LV systolic dysfunction is a risk of arrhythmia."

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Best action'd be an implantable defibrillator.

"Best action'd be an implantable defibrillator."

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much smarter than you.

"much smarter than you."

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They're like rooms.

"They're like rooms."

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OK, missy, knowing damn sure that you'll sue us if the slightest thing

"OK, missy, knowing damn sure that you'll sue us if the slightest thing"

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we're gonna go ahead and elect not to do it.

"we're gonna go ahead and elect not to do it."

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- You can't do that. - Really? Bob!

"- You can't do that. - Really? Bob!"

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Here's a list of places we can refer you to. Thanks for playing.

"Here's a list of places we can refer you to. Thanks for playing."

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Like I said... rooms.

"Like I said... rooms."

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What kind of person would do something like this?

"What kind of person would do something like this?"

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This is a very common hand size. Gotta go.

"This is a very common hand size. Gotta go."

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Kelso wants me to keep hiding Doug until that attorney leaves.

"Kelso wants me to keep hiding Doug until that attorney leaves."

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Elliot, the man tried to electrocute me an hour ago.

"Elliot, the man tried to electrocute me an hour ago."

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All I care about is whether or not this twitch goes away.

"All I care about is whether or not this twitch goes away."

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You should take Doug to the morgue.

"You should take Doug to the morgue."

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The worst he could do there is bring somebody back to life.

"The worst he could do there is bring somebody back to life."

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Carla, when I became chief resident, I wrote a pledge to myself.

"Carla, when I became chief resident, I wrote a pledge to myself."

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It said, "Dance like nobody is watching."

"It said, "Dance like nobody is watching.""

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Which I do, in my living room with the shades closed

"Which I do, in my living room with the shades closed"

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in case somebody is watching.

"in case somebody is watching."

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I'm not gonna go and hide Doug down in the morgue.

"I'm not gonna go and hide Doug down in the morgue."

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I'm not sure if I'm supposed to give this to someone

"I'm not sure if I'm supposed to give this to someone"

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Mr Korman, a nurse said this was a full-on emergency.

"Mr Korman, a nurse said this was a full-on emergency."

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I just came from the courts.

"I just came from the courts."

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It's been six weeks since you did my shoulder surgery,

"It's been six weeks since you did my shoulder surgery,"

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You have to understand that this is a healing process.

"You have to understand that this is a healing process."

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OK, Mr Korman, for the...

"OK, Mr Korman, for the..."

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- How many visits is this? - Twenty-seven.

"- How many visits is this? - Twenty-seven."

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For the 27th time, I'm gonna ask you to do your therapy and just be patient.

"For the 27th time, I'm gonna ask you to do your therapy and just be patient."

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OK, just stay calm. You can handle this.

"OK, just stay calm. You can handle this."

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Oh, God!

"Oh, God!"

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- Dr Dorian? - I'm wearing a cup.

"- Dr Dorian? - I'm wearing a cup."

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Thanks for the crotch update.

"Thanks for the crotch update."

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Look. I'm just worried about my dad.

"Look. I'm just worried about my dad."

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Just a patient's scared daughter.

"Just a patient's scared daughter."

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Elliot, I know everyone thinks I'm this huge screw-up.

"Elliot, I know everyone thinks I'm this huge screw-up."

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Doug, this is a quarantined area!

"Doug, this is a quarantined area!"

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You probably just didn't see the signs.

"You probably just didn't see the signs."

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Signs?

"Signs?"

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Hey, sorry again, guys. My bad.

"Hey, sorry again, guys. My bad."

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Get outta here! Get out!

"Get outta here! Get out!"

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I thought we could head over to my tennis club.

"I thought we could head over to my tennis club."

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I'll show you what's going on with my serve.

"I'll show you what's going on with my serve."

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- Nothing bad could happen there. - Yeah. I'll go practise.

"- Nothing bad could happen there. - Yeah. I'll go practise."

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I will see you whenever I have office hours.

"I will see you whenever I have office hours."

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I will not see you outside of this hospital,

"I will not see you outside of this hospital,"

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no matter how awesome or perfect it may be. Are we clear on that?

"no matter how awesome or perfect it may be. Are we clear on that?"

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Yes, doctor.

"Yes, doctor."

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Maybe it's just me,

"Maybe it's just me,"

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but I wouldn't put up with that.

"but I wouldn't put up with that."

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I tell ya, sittin' here watching you play with your food

"I tell ya, sittin' here watching you play with your food"

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makes you seem much less horrifying.

"makes you seem much less horrifying."

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Oh, I know how I come off.

"Oh, I know how I come off."

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You know, but I have to put that act on for my job.

"You know, but I have to put that act on for my job."

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to seem more accessible to your patients.

"to seem more accessible to your patients."

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I'm glad you got that.

"I'm glad you got that."

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You're sweet.

"You're sweet."

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Come on, it's easy. I'll tell you what.

"Come on, it's easy. I'll tell you what."

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You mean... like this?

"You mean... like this?"

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I think that was mashed potatoes.

"I think that was mashed potatoes."

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Wait, is she into me? Quick, make a bad joke and see if she laughs.

"Wait, is she into me? Quick, make a bad joke and see if she laughs."

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Hear the one about the skeleton who couldn't go to the party?

"Hear the one about the skeleton who couldn't go to the party?"

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He had no body to go with.

"He had no body to go with."

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That's really funny.

"That's really funny."

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I know you hate everything about Miss Broderick.

"I know you hate everything about Miss Broderick."

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Her father's in need of medical care. It's our moral obligation to treat him,

"Her father's in need of medical care. It's our moral obligation to treat him,"

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whether his daughter's a murderer, drug addict or terrorist.

"whether his daughter's a murderer, drug addict or terrorist."

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Not at dinner.

"Not at dinner."

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If you do answer, be prepared for the worst.

"If you do answer, be prepared for the worst."

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He did.

"He did."

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I'm not gonna lie, Newbie.

"I'm not gonna lie, Newbie."

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Oh, Priscilla, you are so busted.

"Oh, Priscilla, you are so busted."

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Who in the hell am I kidding? Of course you fell for her act.

"Who in the hell am I kidding? Of course you fell for her act."

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You're the loneliest guy in this hospital.

"You're the loneliest guy in this hospital."

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Can I ask you a personal question? Exactly how long has it been

"Can I ask you a personal question? Exactly how long has it been"

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since you've swiped the stuffed animals off your bed,

"since you've swiped the stuffed animals off your bed,"

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thrown your ankles up, and thanked whatever God you pray to

"thrown your ankles up, and thanked whatever God you pray to"

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I still don't understand why he couldn't do it.

"I still don't understand why he couldn't do it."

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Even if I am a little desperate, Neena was not playing me.

"Even if I am a little desperate, Neena was not playing me."

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We seem to be in a bit of a loop, so I'll step over and talk to this one.

"We seem to be in a bit of a loop, so I'll step over and talk to this one."

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Are you gonna do the procedure on my father or not?

"Are you gonna do the procedure on my father or not?"

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What are you doing here?

"What are you doing here?"

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Right. What are they doing here?

"Right. What are they doing here?"

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This is a hospital. He should have his shirt on.

"This is a hospital. He should have his shirt on."

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Hey, night school.

"Hey, night school."

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and urine sample, you can get about anything.

"and urine sample, you can get about anything."

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You'd better stop messing with my husband.

"You'd better stop messing with my husband."

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Tell him to stop messin' with my walls!

"Tell him to stop messin' with my walls!"

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You did this?

"You did this?"

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I flunked gym, too. Didn't like the shorts.

"I flunked gym, too. Didn't like the shorts."

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Lt'd be easier if your name was Cal Turk.

"Lt'd be easier if your name was Cal Turk."

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Cal Turk here. We don't sell insurance.

"Cal Turk here. We don't sell insurance."

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We sell peace of mind.

"We sell peace of mind."

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Would you like some milk?

"Would you like some milk?"

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Carla, have you seen Miss Broderick?

"Carla, have you seen Miss Broderick?"

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Maybe you should ask Ted.

"Maybe you should ask Ted."

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So she's nearby.

"So she's nearby."

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Your father's gonna be just fine.

"Your father's gonna be just fine."

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The place is top-notch. I practically live here.

"The place is top-notch. I practically live here."

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- Are you a doctor? - Massive hypochondriac.

"- Are you a doctor? - Massive hypochondriac."

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I've seen the real you. You can't even flirt.

"I've seen the real you. You can't even flirt."

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Really?

"Really?"

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- Why are you doing this? - I love my dad. I'd do anything.

"- Why are you doing this? - I love my dad. I'd do anything."

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- How can I believe that? - Can't. I already lied to you.

"- How can I believe that? - Can't. I already lied to you."

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The trust's broken, though I'd never lie again.

"The trust's broken, though I'd never lie again."

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- Really? - Who knows?

"- Really? - Who knows?"

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Do whatever you think is right, regardless of how I feel about you.

"Do whatever you think is right, regardless of how I feel about you."

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If it helps, I'm not the least bit interested.

"If it helps, I'm not the least bit interested."

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When faced with a decision, sometimes you need to be alone with your thoughts.

"When faced with a decision, sometimes you need to be alone with your thoughts."

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See, around here, places to be alone are hard to come by.

"See, around here, places to be alone are hard to come by."

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How do I decide if we should do the procedure or not?

"How do I decide if we should do the procedure or not?"

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How do I tell someone he shouldn't be a doctor?

"How do I tell someone he shouldn't be a doctor?"

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How do I get my patient to stop stalking me?

"How do I get my patient to stop stalking me?"

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How do I get these people to realise that just because

"How do I get these people to realise that just because"

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I'm in a coma doesn't mean I can't hear them?

"I'm in a coma doesn't mean I can't hear them?"

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I'm hungry.

"I'm hungry."

Scrubs

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