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Clips from Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy - Pele (S01E01)

turned to swingball. You see, we used to play tennis together

"turned to swingball. You see, we used to play tennis together"

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

and playing myself in the garden.

"and playing myself in the garden."

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

Here comes Roy Circles, he's got chocolate ankles.

"Here comes Roy Circles, he's got chocolate ankles."

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

but this one has something,

"but this one has something,"

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

It's Pele, holding a china cup. I like it, it's clear, it's direct.

"It's Pele, holding a china cup. I like it, it's clear, it's direct."

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

But then my eye travels down past his midriff to his boots,

"But then my eye travels down past his midriff to his boots,"

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

Is it a ball or is it the saucer for the cup?

"Is it a ball or is it the saucer for the cup?"

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

Ha-ha, exactly!

"Ha-ha, exactly!"

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

I didn't know you were so deep and complicated, Noel.

"I didn't know you were so deep and complicated, Noel."

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

I'm getting it valued later by Daran Cache.

"I'm getting it valued later by Daran Cache."

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

Who's Daran Cache?

"Who's Daran Cache?"

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

He invented the colouring pencil? He's on his way as we speak.

"He invented the colouring pencil? He's on his way as we speak."

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

You live with one of the most

"You live with one of the most"

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

I suppose I could ask him.

"I suppose I could ask him."

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

What are you doing?

"What are you doing?"

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

I see Pele, a footballer, holding a china cup

"I see Pele, a footballer, holding a china cup"

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

which is slightly interesting,

"which is slightly interesting,"

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

but does not tell me anything I do not know already.

"but does not tell me anything I do not know already."

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

You have drawn a footballer kicking a football.

"You have drawn a footballer kicking a football."

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

Yeah, but is it a football?

"Yeah, but is it a football?"

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

What so you mean?

"What so you mean?"

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

Or is it the saucer for the cup?

"Or is it the saucer for the cup?"

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

ELECTRONIC SQUEAKS

"ELECTRONIC SQUEAKS"

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

Oh, my God, you've blown Andy's mind!

"Oh, my God, you've blown Andy's mind!"

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

Saucer, cup, saucer, cup, saucer, cup.

"Saucer, cup, saucer, cup, saucer, cup."

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

RHYTHMIC FOLK MUSIC

"RHYTHMIC FOLK MUSIC"

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

'Sherlock Holmes. Chapter one. Moriarty's Revenge.

"'Sherlock Holmes. Chapter one. Moriarty's Revenge."

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

'The smell of beer wafted through the narrow cobbled streets,

"'The smell of beer wafted through the narrow cobbled streets,"

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

'the fog thick and clinging to the passing stage coaches.

"'the fog thick and clinging to the passing stage coaches."

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

'and shuffled through a concrete archway.'

"'and shuffled through a concrete archway.'"

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

Hmmm!

"Hmmm!"

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

Wow, so you think you might be inserted in buying it, then?

"Wow, so you think you might be inserted in buying it, then?"

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

It's a bit racy, isn't it?

"It's a bit racy, isn't it?"

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

Yes. It is my aim to make colouring pencils sexy again.

"Yes. It is my aim to make colouring pencils sexy again."

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

Ha-ha! Amazing!

"Ha-ha! Amazing!"

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

This tank is not made out of Swiss cheese.

"This tank is not made out of Swiss cheese."

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

Those, my friend, are the injuries of war.

"Those, my friend, are the injuries of war."

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

I don't expect a civilian punk like you to know the difference.

"I don't expect a civilian punk like you to know the difference."

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

Right then, up ahead,

"Right then, up ahead,"

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

a pencil drawing of Pele, done in the naive primitive style.

"a pencil drawing of Pele, done in the naive primitive style."

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

He's holding a china tea cup, an obvious slant towards surrealism,

"He's holding a china tea cup, an obvious slant towards surrealism,"

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

but, as we all know, you should never take crockery

"but, as we all know, you should never take crockery"

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

onto the playing field.

"onto the playing field."

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

When little Steven Kahle, the Kenyan boy,

"When little Steven Kahle, the Kenyan boy,"

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

tried to do cross-country with a teapot in his shorts,

"tried to do cross-country with a teapot in his shorts,"

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

Darren Cooper tripped him up and his winkle came loose.

"Darren Cooper tripped him up and his winkle came loose."

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

A nightmare, I had to carry that to hospital in a matchbox.

"A nightmare, I had to carry that to hospital in a matchbox."

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

I'll never get over those images.

"I'll never get over those images."

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

Wait a second, if I'm not mistaken, the body has been done in freehand

"Wait a second, if I'm not mistaken, the body has been done in freehand"

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

but the head has been traced.

"but the head has been traced."

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

The head has not been traced, thank you very much.

"The head has not been traced, thank you very much."

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

Tracing? Tracing?

"Tracing? Tracing?"

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

As we all know, Mrs Kite, the head of the art department,

"As we all know, Mrs Kite, the head of the art department,"

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

does not see tracing as real drawing.

"does not see tracing as real drawing."

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

as the enemy.

"as the enemy."

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

Right, then, one, two, there, four,

"Right, then, one, two, there, four,"

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

these are numbers, ignore those,

"these are numbers, ignore those,"

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

and fire!

"and fire!"

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

Violence, just like on the battlefield when I was young.

"Violence, just like on the battlefield when I was young."

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

Erections everywhere.

"Erections everywhere."

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

Pele!

"Pele!"

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

Well, not an offer, but he gave me his business car, pretty racy.

"Well, not an offer, but he gave me his business car, pretty racy."

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

Pele, please! Pele, don't leave me!

"Pele, please! Pele, don't leave me!"

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

Yeah, he's great at running, he's gone now, for ever.

"Yeah, he's great at running, he's gone now, for ever."

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

There he is down there in the jungle. Look!

"There he is down there in the jungle. Look!"

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

Look at him weaving in and out of the bracken, he's so balletic,

"Look at him weaving in and out of the bracken, he's so balletic,"

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

he hasn't spilt a drop of that tea.

"he hasn't spilt a drop of that tea."

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

Look, he's gone right down to the corner flag.

"Look, he's gone right down to the corner flag."

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

Pele, cross it, Pele!

"Pele, cross it, Pele!"

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

Oh, it was the saucer!

"Oh, it was the saucer!"

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

♪ Bye-bye, now It's the end of the show

"♪ Bye-bye, now It's the end of the show"

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

♪ Baby, bye-bye

"♪ Baby, bye-bye"

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

That's my own shit.

"That's my own shit."

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

(COUGHS) Oh, Peter!

"(COUGHS) Oh, Peter!"

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

That'll be the nicotine.

"That'll be the nicotine."

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

and he said, "Go fuck yourself."

"and he said, "Go fuck yourself.""

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

and two and a half minutes to prepare your main course.

"and two and a half minutes to prepare your main course."

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

I will see you in the holding pattern.

"I will see you in the holding pattern."

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

Clickety-click.

"Clickety-click."

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

'Chop, chop, chop!'

"'Chop, chop, chop!'"

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

Put a little whisky in that, will you, Rodriguez?

"Put a little whisky in that, will you, Rodriguez?"

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

CROWD ROARS

"CROWD ROARS"

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

(WHISTLES TV CRICKET THEME)

"(WHISTLES TV CRICKET THEME)"

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

TV CRICKET THEME CONTINUES

"TV CRICKET THEME CONTINUES"

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

Gentlemen, you have 15 seconds to board your vessel.

"Gentlemen, you have 15 seconds to board your vessel."

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

Woo...doggy! Ha-ha!

"Woo...doggy! Ha-ha!"

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

You see, I can be a character like Mr Clasby,

"You see, I can be a character like Mr Clasby,"

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

A knife wound that started talking to me

"A knife wound that started talking to me"

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

and occasionally helped me solve cases.

"and occasionally helped me solve cases."

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

It was a sarong, actually, and it was your wife's.

"It was a sarong, actually, and it was your wife's."

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

You do not have access to my wife's sarong collection -

"You do not have access to my wife's sarong collection -"

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

Everyone knows that.

"Everyone knows that."

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

but they could make things very awkward for you.

"but they could make things very awkward for you."

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

but my brother-in-law happens to be one

"but my brother-in-law happens to be one"

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

Somebody call me an ambulance.

"Somebody call me an ambulance."

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

I'm bleeding to death here, if you haven't noticed!

"I'm bleeding to death here, if you haven't noticed!"

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

Oh, how we laughed when he was almost gang banged by 15 sailors.

"Oh, how we laughed when he was almost gang banged by 15 sailors."

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

Ha-ha-ha!

"Ha-ha-ha!"

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

Tyre on a bleeding rope!

"Tyre on a bleeding rope!"

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

Got to get it back, haven't I?

"Got to get it back, haven't I?"

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

John! Any news on my penis?

"John! Any news on my penis?"

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

I'm having a brain snap.

"I'm having a brain snap."

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

What questions?

"What questions?"

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

to the little tippy-toe of his boot, and you see this, what is that?

"to the little tippy-toe of his boot, and you see this, what is that?"

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

and I tried to recreate those hours by wearing my wife's dress

"and I tried to recreate those hours by wearing my wife's dress"

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

I mean, I look at it and I think, I don't really like your drawings,

"I mean, I look at it and I think, I don't really like your drawings,"

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

Not him, he's an idiot, he's my cleaner.

"Not him, he's an idiot, he's my cleaner."

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

Let me take a closer look.

"Let me take a closer look."

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

Well, Noel, to be honest, it is

"Well, Noel, to be honest, it is"

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

Hmm-mm.

"Hmm-mm."

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

It's made out of ordinary cheese.

"It's made out of ordinary cheese."

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

EXPLOSION

"EXPLOSION"

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

WHISTLE BLOWS

"WHISTLE BLOWS"

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

Pele, you don't understand, I've had enough an offer from Daran Cache.

"Pele, you don't understand, I've had enough an offer from Daran Cache."

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

♪ Come back next for another show

"♪ Come back next for another show"

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

♪ People in the night with people up above

"♪ People in the night with people up above"

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

Great - new cereal!

"Great - new cereal!"

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

ACCORDION MUSIC

"ACCORDION MUSIC"

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

Halleluiah!

"Halleluiah!"

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

ACCORDION PLAYS

"ACCORDION PLAYS"

Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy

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