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Clips from Parks and Recreation (2009) - Animal Control (S05E05)

"Stupid councilmen asking me stupid questions"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"about my stupid life-- it seems stupid."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"No, it's easy--they'll just ask you a few questions."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Batman. See? I failed."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I will be there to help you, okay?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I will be your Pocahontas."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Please, please. Do it. Do it. Do it."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- Do it. You're gonna do it. - Okay."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- Yes! Yay! - But only if you divorce Ben."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Leslie Knope's assistant."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Andy? That's my husband."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"They were still extremely graphic,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I had never heard of several of those terms, and I'm a freak."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Those are personal. No one's allowed to read those."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"You once posted a video of yourself"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"drinking alcohol in City Hall"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"while you were still a minor. How do you justify that?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"...Damentally a substance that should not be abused."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I agree, April. Very good point."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I mean, that is amazing how you make"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"your words come out of Ms. Knope's mouth."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Just three years ago, you drove--"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Now, you've rushed her into this,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"and now, Jamm's sharpening the knives."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Grab that gavel and break your other foot."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"but I think the negatives outweigh the positives."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I guess my first move as director would be"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"to fill your office, house, and car with snakes,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Well, well, well. Look who's back."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Thank you so much for seeing us again, sir."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Mr. Dennis Feinstein,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"let me just say, from the bottom of my heart,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"that if you came in here and apologized to me like a man,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"To that end, here is a check for $25,000 for your charity."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"and help some kids with their pink eye,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"or whatever it is you guys are doing."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Mr. Feinstein, thank you. This is extremely generous."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"In your face!"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- apologize to him? - Guys, guys, just hold it--"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"hold on a sec, okay?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Mr. Feinstein,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"you are a major dick."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- What? - Run!"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"You will pay for this!"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Hey, you look better."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I guess actual medicine can be effective."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Who'da thunk?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Please leave me alone."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Not until we go over your test results"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"and your blood work."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"And the only problem I see is that your potassium's low,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"so just eat a banana once in awhile."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"No, thank you. I live the way I live,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I eat the things I eat, and I'll die the way I'll die."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"That's oddly beautiful... but also stupid."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"You're not alone in the world anymore, Ron."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"think about Ivy and Zoe and Diane,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"and eat a damn banana."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I am so sorry, April."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"You are doing terribly up there, and it's all my fault."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I say we just withdraw your application"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"No!"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Ms. Ludgate, it is the opinion of this committee"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"that you are terrible."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Can you give me even one reason"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"why you're the right man for this job?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"No. But neither is your guy."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Neither of us should get the job."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Oh, no? Why is that?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Its budget is tiny, and it's ineffective,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"and frankly, no one could change that."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"So I think it should be absorbed into the Parks Department."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"That is a genius idea."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"if it ran through the Parks Department,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"and if you want, I can write up an official report"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"for even you dummies to understand, dummies."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"that idea makes a lot of sense."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Hang on a second. You seem to be forgetting"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"and he already bought a new speedboat."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Well, I hope he kept a receipt."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"That was a brilliant idea from a dark, tortured genius,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"and I move that Animal Control be absorbed into Parks and Rec."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Look at that, April. You won over Jamm."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I'm just sick of being on the losing side."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I'm going to tell everyone this was my idea."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"What do we do now? Can I apologize again?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I'm getting really at apologizing."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Screw that. You should apologize"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"for apologizing to that guy."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"God, we really could've used the money, though."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Just wish we'd made a bigger impression."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"You did-- I was really impressed"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"by all the stuff the foundation's done"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"for all them poor homies, so you know what?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Rent-A-Swag is gonna donate five cents"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"It's not Feinstein money, but it'll help."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Feinstein's the worst. I hope he gets into an accident"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"driving that Rolex Mobile."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"For the last time, it's a Rolexus,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"April, I have a gift for you. Ta da."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"At Leslie's suggestion, I have made you deputy director"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I had it made your first week here."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I knew you'd be going places, so I wanted to be prepared."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- Can I hire an intern? - Not yet."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- Can I buy a child bride? - No."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"It should operate based on good ideas."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"April had the best idea, and today the best idea won."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Leslie, I really have to go to the bathroom."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I wasn't going to."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Could you pick up the pace a little bit?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Oh, yes, Miss Daisy."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- Night, Ron. - Night, Ron."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Ladies, ladies."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Welcome to Animal Control. Let me show you around."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"has been disaster... at catching animals."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"It's completely and utterly mismanaged."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"It does seem to be very poorly run,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Yes, plenty."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"The man owns a Rolexus."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I'm going to find a candidate,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
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